All of the other dancers begin to get ready for today’s rehearsal; myself included. I adjust the pointe shoes on my feet and begin to tie them up before I notice Aimee walking toward me.
“Hey Aimee,” I said as she sat next to me, beginning to put on her pointe shoes as well. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m alright,” Aimee answered. “Maurice and I ended up watching Legally Blonde before coming to rehearsal.” I smiled at Aimee’s answer.
“Sometimes, you just need a good classic movie to make things better,” I stated. Aimee took a deep breath before speaking.
“I’m just afraid to go back to my room after rehearsal and sit alone with my thoughts. Like, it’s so much more easy to have a friend or someone just be there with you.” I look at Aimee and listen to her speak. I know exactly how that feels. There’s only so much your family and friends an do until the sun goes down and you’re left with just your thoughts for the night.
“If you ever want to come to my room, you know you’re always welcome to,” I reassured Aimee. “I know how it feels to sit in your thoughts alone and I wouldn’t want you doing that 3 days before the opening.” Aimee smiled in appreciation.
“When did I get the best of friends?” Aimee asked.
“Well I can’t speak for Maurice being the best,” I jokingly said. We both laugh as we continue to get ready for the rehearsal. It wasn’t long after that the director’s assistant was calling for the dancers in Aimee’s number. “Have a good rehearsal; I’ll see you soon on stage.” Aimee got up from the ground and quickly placed her bag in one of the vacant lockers.
I continued to lace up the ribbon of my pointe shoe until I see a man’s shoe in front of me. I look up and instantly smile.
“Hey, Sahim,” I greeted him. “You’re on break or something?”
“As a matter of fact, I am,” Sahim answered, sitting down on the ground next to me. “Ready for rehearsal?”
“Ready as I can be,” I answered, then smiled. “Got any plans after work today?”
“Most likely catch up on some television shows,” Sahim said. “I promise I won’t have too much fun without you around.” I rolled my eyes at his cute little response. Just like him to do. “How about you?”
“I’m going out for dinner,” I began to answer. “My cousin and her boyfriend surprised me earlier today. They’re here on vacation and are going to the opening of the show this Friday.”
“Is this family from back home?” Sahim asked. I nodded.
“My cousin Skylar lives in California with her Korean boyfriend,” I started to explain. “Ironic, isn’t it?”
“I mean it’s not too far-fetched considering you have a niece who lives in Korea,” Sahim pointed out. “But I’m glad you have family coming out to support on opening night. Are you more nervous now that you do?”
“I’m only nervous about Skylar making a fool of herself in the theater,” I emphasized. “She’s… not the person that can read a room well.” Sahim laughs at what I say.
“That’s family for you,” Sahim concluded.
“Maybe before the show you can meet them,” I suggested. “It would be a crime if I didn’t introduce you to her.” The lightbulb finally goes off in my head. “Would you like to come with me to dinner tonight?”
“To meet your family?” Sahim asked, looking a little worried now.
“It’s just my cousin,” I said. “Plus, it would be super awkward for me to just be there by myself while she’s with her boyfriend.”
“I don’t want to come unannounced to a dinner you and your cousin planned, Grace,” Sahim confessed. My eyes deadpanned toward Sahim.
“Let me rephrase,” I begin to explain. “Skylar is only wanting to go to dinner because she knows you exist.” Sahim’s eyes widen.
“You told your cousin about me?” Sahim asked, looking a little shy now. I didn’t realize just how much that sounded like a teenager telling her friends about a crush.
“I did,” I confessed, looking down at my shoes to avoid eye contact with him. “She was curious about the guy I kept spending my time with here in Korea.” I finally look up at Sahim.
“Did I get the favorite cousin seal of approval?” Sahim asked teasingly. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Considering she wants to meet you, then probably,” I answered. “I know it’s short notice, but it would mean a lot if you came with me tonight.”
“So, a double date,” Sahim said out loud before looking back at me. “Is this something that you want?”
“Whatcha mean?” I asked, not really understanding what he meant by that.
“Introduce me to your family,” Sahim answered. “I know it’s not your parents or anything, but from what you tell me about your cousin, introducing me to her seems to be like a big deal.” I scrunched my eyebrows together, feeling a little embarrassed that Sahim is questioning my intentions for tonight. Sure, I don’t want to show up to this dinner by myself and sitting across Skylar and Shawn. I want to feel comfortable just in case something goes wrong. God, what if they bring up Jamie? Jamie. I slowly realize that I want Sahim there for more than just the support; I need him there to show them that I’m over my ex-boyfriend. That I moved on, living a better and happier life… but to drag Sahim into this dinner just to show off another man is wrong. I shake my head as I begin to get up from the ground.
“Forget it,” I finally said, gathering my stuff from the floor. “It’s a stupid idea.” Before I walked away, Sahim gets up from the floor and tries to get my attention.
“Hey, hey,” Sahim softly says to me. He looks down at me to meet up with my eyes; I look up at his. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just want to make sure this is something you want to do.”
“Sahim,” I begin to say before the assistant director calls out for the next number to prepare to go on stage. Maybe I shouldn’t say this. “I… got to go.”
“Say what you want to say,” Sahim says to me. “Don’t go without saying what you want to say. It’s just going to mess up your rehearsal.” Fuck, how does he know that?
“I… like you, a lot,” I started to say. “And I tend to do things that scare people away, like introducing them to the most important people in my life before they are ready for it. I’m doing nothing but scaring you away at this point.”
“Grace,” Sahim started to explain. “There’s nothing that you can do to scare me away at this point. I just want to be on the same page as you, because I also like you. A lot. But you already know that.” I bite my bottom lip as he speaks to me. I feel like a teenager that just got back the passed note with the “yes” checked off asking if my crush likes me too.
“Is this something that you want?” I asked Sahim back. “Do you want me?”
“Let’s just say it’s been hard to keep it professional ever since we kissed at the club,” Sahim answered. I could feel my face get really hot; I almost forgot that happened considering so many things are now happening around me. “I’ll pick you up at 7 for dinner with your cousin.”
“Really?” I asked, sounding a little too excited to hear him say that. All he does is smile. Now he’s just teasing me with it.
“Of course,” Sahim said. “I would love to meet the important people in your life, because you have become important to me.” Oh the way he knows how to use words kills me.
“Ditto,” I said, which was all I could say. The 2 minute warning from the assistant director is heard again. Quickly, Sahim kisses me on the cheek.
“Have a good rehearsal, darling,” Sahim said. Darling. I stupidly smile wide as I set my stuff near the other bags from the dancers and run out to make it to the stage.
I stand at the left side of the stage, waiting for my cue to come in as we rehearse the last two numbers of the production. Sahim’s words play in my head like a song on a never-ending loop. His words were always comforting to me; something I haven’t had in a person for quite some time now. I guess the night at the club sealed it in my mind: I really like Sahim. I’ve thought about him in situations that I haven’t thought about in a long time. I picture him and I visiting all of the tourist places in Korea after we clock out from our 9 to 5 and await for the 8 o’clock show that night. I picture him and I going back to New York and going to the park during the summer with Willow. I picture him and I going to his hometown to get a better glimpse of who he was before I met him as he is now. I picture Sahim being the one, and that fucking scares me. I should have learned the first time to date someone I worked with—
But this time feels like I was suppose to meet him like this. How else would I met this incredible man?
“Cue the Prosper number,” I hear the director call out from the stage. The music starts to play and I watch the other dancers begin to dance along to the music. It wasn’t long after that I hear the director cue me.
I enter the stage, dance to the music and land myself center stage. I open my eyes as I listen to the lyrics of the song and dance to the song. I take a glimpse at those who are at the front of the stage, watching the rehearsal. I see Sahim sitting there, watching me dance. It makes me smile.
It makes me hopeful. It inspires me. It makes me excited to see where this takes us.
Letters From Liz. 