Voiceless Rant: The Series

A Voiceless Rant: November 2019 Edition.

Dear, guys – welcome back to Letters From Liz!

2019 feels like it came and went, yet it also feels like I’ve been living in 2019 for a whole decade. A lot of things happened this year, and it’s truly crazy to see where I’m at, 11 months into it.

This year, my 25, has been a rollercoaster for me. It has constantly felt like I’ve been on the top of the world, and there were times when I hit rock bottom. If I had to sum up the year, I would say that this year was very cathartic. 25 has taught me some life lessons I think I will carry for a lifetime and it’s also made me reflect on some of the resolutions I had for this year.

With that being said, it’s time for this month’s installment of:

voiceless rant

As I reflect on the year, I remember where I was this time last year. Did I have high expectations for the new year? Did I think my issues and problems would vanish once the new year came around? Will anything drastic happen in the new year that will change my life forever? Honestly, we just don’t know what our future holds, and to hold the new year accountable for things to be good is an unrealistic way of thinking. It’s why many of our new year resolutions don’t last for too long, and it’s why many of us feel disappointed once the new year doesn’t go the way we wanted it to go.

For my “resolutions” for 2019, I wanted this year to be peaceful and for me to be happy. I wanted this year to be completely different than what 2018 was, and boy was I in for an even more stressful ride this year. I had some issues handling my mental health, I got out of an extremely long relationship, I got a new job, and I figured out that I was demiromantic. It was a lot of self-discovery and acceptance this year that I was not ready for.

In other words, nothing about this year was “peaceful” in the slightest bit.

Just because your resolutions don’t go as planned, it doesn’t mean that the year was a waste. Sure, you didn’t get to lose weight you wanted to lose. Sure, you didn’t get to go on an out-of-state vacation. Sure, you didn’t get the happiness and peace of mind that you wanted. You might not have gotten the things you wanted, but every year truly happens the way it does because it needs to happen that way. Maybe you had to have a year like this to mature and experience some growth within yourself.

At 25, at this moment, I am the happiest I could possibly be for myself. I feel at peace in some aspects of my life, I’m working a job I really enjoy and look forward to going to every morning, I’m prioritizing myself in ways I didn’t do, and I’ve just trying to find what makes me, me. I didn’t have any idea that 2019 was going to be that year for me, but maybe I needed this to happen this way in order to keep growing and thriving and to get closer to the person that I always wanted to be.

So, I’m not upset that my resolutions for 2019 didn’t work out for me, I’m actually quite glad they didn’t! If this year turned out the way that I wanted it to be, I wouldn’t have learned everything that I did about life, myself, mental health, and everything else I learned through my hardships. If anything, my New Years’ resolutions somewhat came true: I am at peace and I am happy 11 months in. So, I can only hope that I can enter 2020 with the things I’m learning and that I can enter it in a peaceful state of mind, as well as a happy one!

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