I couldn’t focus in vocal today, and the time was dragging so it wasn’t like I was going to get out of there anytime soon. My dad kept having us rehearse this specific section in a piece that a lot of us was messing up on; not me, though. It was exhausting hearing the same section mess up the same notes for 10 minutes straight.
“Mr. Serrano,” my dad called out at Aaron. “That note is sharp, not flat. I need you to clean that note up so your section doesn’t throw off the Tenors.” I looked over at Aaron as he scribbled on his sheet music, nodding his head at my dad. I looked over to Mollie out of curiosity and, of course, she looks more stressed than Aaron does. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I fidgeted in place. “Class, do we need to do quartets? It looks like you guys do not know your music the week of the damn show!” my dad shouted at the class. Everyone looked frightened; I wasn’t.
The class went on and practiced the song, making the same mistakes that we all went over not too long ago. My dad stops the rehearsal and stands up from behind the piano. He looks at the class and doesn’t say a word.
“Everyone take a seat,” he calmly said. “When I call your name, please stand up; clearly you all think is is some sort of joke.” He scans the room in silence. “Quartets.” I rolled my eyes, wishing that the bell would ring to end the period. “Chelsea Steele for Alto, Aaron Serrano for Baritone, Daniel Parrilla for Bass, Milo Kamalani for Tenor, and Mollie Castro for Soprano,” my dad called out. I sighed loudly as I got up from my seat; it immediately alarmed my dad. “Problem, Mr. Kamalani?”
“I know my music,” I spat back at him. “I don’t get why you’re quizzing people that actually know their music,” I rolled my eyes as I said.
“If one of you doesn’t know your music, then all of you don’t know your music,” he responded back. “You think those in the audience can tell who knows their music if one of you are completely off-pitch? No; they judge you as a whole. Does that answer your question?” I didn’t say anything back; I was one talkback away from getting my dual majors taken from me. My dad finally stopped looking at me and faced the rest of the class. “Kyrie in D Minor.” My dad went and played the starting noted for each section. After counting us in, we all sang.
Quartets were only scary if you had absolutely no idea what your parts were in the songs. You can tell those who knew their music versus those who didn’t; those who did stood up straight and confident meanwhile those that didn’t fidgeted in their standing place. The 5 of us began singing the latter half of Mozart’s Requiem; the half where all parts sing along to different words and miraculously come together before the end. I shut my eyes as I sang, trying to focus on my part as I continue hearing Aaron’s baritone facts be slightly off-pitch in every start of each measure. Fuck.
“Stop, stop,” my dad stood up and saved. We stopped singing and looked in his direction. “It sounds like the only person who knows their music in this round are the ladies, and Mr. Parrilla,” he commented.
“I know my music,” I said out loud. “Don’t blame my mistakes for me not knowing my music when–“
“Mr. Kamalani come see me after class,” my dad dismissed. “In the meantime, you can sit down.” I sat back down in my seat, annoyed at the entire situation. I hear snickering in the row behind me. As I turned around, I see Mollie laughing and shaking her head to herself. You should be embarrassed that your boyfriend is one of the weakest links in this damn ensemble…
…
The bell rings and everyone begins to pack up for the day. I wanted nothing more than to just go home and be by myself for the night. Of course, things were easier said than done. I watched my dad silently talk to Aaron at his desk, probably to scold him about not knowing any of his music. Will his dual major status get jeopardized like how mine was, or is Aaron just forever off the hook? I looked up to see Mollie walk right past me. On some days, it hurt that we acted like we were complete strangers, especially knowing what our after-school plans used to be.
“Ms. Castro,” my dad looked up as Mollie walked by. “I need to see you once I’m done with this conversation.”
“Why?” she questioned. She seemed annoyed. “You said I knew my music and–“
“Mollie,” my dad simply said. She rolled her eyes and walked to one of the seats in the classroom. Oh, this wasn’t a vocal-related discussion. My dad dismissed Aaron, but he turned around to look at Mollie.
“Is she going to be long, Mr. Kamalani?” Aaron asked. My dad crossed his arms and sighed at the question.
“My suggestion is that you go home and practice your music, Mr. Serrano,” my dad began to say. “It’s unacceptable for a dual major to be so behind in his major’s studies.” It looks like Aaron didn’t fight it; he waved at Mollie before exiting the vocal room. Once the door closes shut, it’s like the switch goes off for all three of us.
“Seriously, Mr. Kamalani?” Mollie began to complain.
“Jennifer asked me to bring you to our house today,” my dad responded back. “Lydia and Alex aren’t going to be home until later tonight.”
“I’m 15; not 5,” Mollie pointed out as she rolled her eyes. “Just because she can’t trust her stepson being home alone doesn’t mean she can’t trust her sister–“
“What?!” I immediately shot up from my seat, completely shocked at what’s going on. “You told her?!” I yelled at my dad.
“I didn’t say anything,” my dad insisted, seeming just as confused as me. “Mollie, how do you know this?”
“Jennifer is bad at keeping secrets,” Mollie answered, leaning back in her seat. “When she’s upset, she’s like an open book.”
“Well tell your sister that she has no right telling you about my business!” I shouted directly at Mollie. “My god, are all the women in your family the same–“
“That’s enough, the both of you!” my dad shouted, hushing the both of us. “I am sick and tired of the both you constantly at each other’s heads. All you two do is fight; whether its outside of school or during class. I’m not asking you to make up, but I am demanding you fix it somehow.” I rolled my eyes and looked away from Mollie. What was there to fix? A friendship that was built on judgment and lies?
“First of all, Mollie, Jennifer has nothing to do with you staying with us for the night; your mom told her to tell me,” my dad then turned to face me. “Secondly, Milo, do not disrespect Jennifer or their family; at the end of the day, we are all considered family.”
“By law,” I scoffed, shuffling in my seat.
“By love,” my dad corrected. “The same love that you and Mollie used to have for each other before you guys got all grown and into the opposite sex.” My dad began to walk to his desk and gathered some of the papers on his desk. “I can’t tell you guys what to do; I can only hope you both do the right thing.” My dad picked up his bag and grabbed his keys from his desk. “Let’s go.” Mollie and I got up from our seats and began to walk out of the classroom, clearly not happy with the certain circumstances.
My dad opened the door to Jennifer’s studio room at the house, allowing both Mollie and I enter. It was weird being back in this room; I haven’t been in here since I got caught with Sophie in here. The mats on the corner of the room are still messed up from Sophie hiding there.
“Why are we down here?” Mollie was the first to ask. For once, I agreed with something that she said.
“We have painters upstairs,” my dad answered, putting his things down on top of the piano in the room. “Micah is in after school and the girls are with Jennifer t the studio.
“Why couldn’t I just go to the studio with her?” Mollie asked again. My dad turned around before heading towards the staircase at the back of the room.
“Because she hasn’t trusted you to go to the studio for actual dance rehearsals,” Milo responded back walking up the stairs. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. I grabbed my books from my bookbag, completely ignoring Mollie in the rehearsal room. She took out her phone and immediately started to text someone with her keyboard sound loud and clear. Every now and then between keyboard clicks, a new message notification sound would go off. It made Mollie laugh to herself, yet it annoyed the fuck out of me. I slammed my notebook on the ground and sighed loudly. That surely grabbed Mollie’s attention.
“What’s your problem?” Mollie asked, rolling her eyes afterward.
“I’m just trying to do my homework in peace,” I said as calm as possible. “Would it be possible if you just put your phone on silent mode?”
“Whatever,” Mollie said, switching her phone to silent. I went back to doing my homework, but it wasn’t shortly after that Mollie began laughing every 5 minutes. I threw my pen into my book, getting up from my seat.
“Just because you don’t give a shit about your studies, doesn’t mean everyone else around you doesn’t either,” I confronted Mollie.
“Oh please,” Mollie said, looking down at her phone. “You’re only worried that you daddy is gonna scold you if you don’t do your homework while you’re grounded…”
“You think you just know everything, huh?” I said, closing my notebook. “You think you have all the answers in the world, and that you got everything figured out–“
“Don’t blame me because you decided you wanted to be fast with your fake girlfriend,” Mollie pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “Like, really Milo? That’s low, even for you.”
“I don’t know what Jennifer told you, but clearly you heard things wrong,” I corrected Mollie, trying to gain back the narrative. “I didn’t do anything with Sophie–“
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Mr. “Making Out and Dry Humping”, Mollie laughed as she turned around in her seat. If there’s one thing I’m not going to tolerate it’s Mollie thinking she knew everything. I got up from where I was sitting and turned her chair around. She definitely didn’t like that. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
“The fuck is wrong with you?” I repeated back. “You’re so invested in what Sophie and I are doing; is Aaron not satisfying your needs anymore?” I mocked her, giving her a taste of her own medicine. “Can’t get it up or something?”
“Unlike you, Aaron respects me enough to take things slow,” Mollie rolled her eyes. “You, on the other hand, view Sophie as this piece of meat, you just are dying to try her out–“
“You don’t know shit, Mollie,” I spat back, walking away from her. “You swear that you have me figured out when in reality, you are just as clueless as you are with your actual relationship.” I turned around to look at Mollie in the face this time. “Why don’t you help your dual major boyfriend remember the correct notes in our music.”
“Like you’re the perfect vocalist,” Mollie commented. “From what I remember, you also didn’t hit the correct nots in quartets either.”
“That was because your stupid boyfriend kept throwing off the rest of our section,” I snapped back, feeling extremely defensive. “Like I said, you need to be helping him with his music so that he doesn’t ruin it for the rest of us–“
“You know what, Milo?” Mollie spun in her heat and shouted. “I don’t have to prove anything to you, and I don’t have to engage in your pathetic clapback just because you think you have the upper-hand in this situation. The fact of the matter is that you’re mad that I found out about your stupid fucking decision and are only mad because you know it was fucking stupid!”
“I’m mad because out of all of the people in this world, you think you are entitled enough to judge me when you’re in a relationship with a well-known womanizing asshole!”
“Don’t talk about him like that!” she shouted at me.
“Don’t talk about Sophie like that!” I spat back at her. At this point, my blood was boiling. It was confirmed long ago that Mollie and I can’t ever be friends; I wanted nothing more than for Mollie to get out of my face and out of my life for good. “Honestly, Mol; just got the fuck out of my face.”
“Fuck you, Milo,” Mollie hissed back, grabbing her things and walking towards the door of the rehearsal room. I sighed, watching her stomp with each step towards the door.
“Mol,” I began to say. She quickly turns around, visibly angry.
“I’m mad because you let Aaron and Sophie get in between pf our friendship. I was okay when you told me that you liked Sophie last year and for your sake I pushed how I felt about her to the side! But the way you feel about Aaron make you believe that because he doesn’t like you and you have some dual major competition beef with him, you think I dated him out of spite and completely disregarded my feelings for him. You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you on purpose. You know the only time I am spiteful is if I feel you’re being spiteful with me, and even then we would always work it out in the end–” I couldn’t let Mollie finish, because I already knew where this conversation was going.
“You’re not the saint in this situation,” I simply said, crossing my arms along my chest. “In fact, you hid your relationship with Aaron because even in the slightest way, you were doing it out of spite. You knew that I thought he was a bad person; you’ve been in our classes when he literally called me out in front of the whole vocal ensemble! Even in the timespan you began to date him, you never stopped him from bullying me or supported me when my dual major status was suspended because of him. Yeah, we both fucked up, but let’s be honest about the true nature of this situation.” Mollie put her hands on her face, taking a deep breath before looking back up. She seemed tired.
“You know, just put the blame on me,” Mollie concluded. “Just tell everyone that I’m the reason why our friendship didn’t work out. I’ve exhausted nearly every single thing, and we’re still talking in circles about this dumb shit.” Mollie shook her head and began to open the front door. “Think whatever you want to think. I don’t give a shit anymore.” She closed the door behind her as she left. I thought I would feel better knowing Mollie finally apologized for something, but I didn’t feel good afterward. She seemed like she was truly done with our friendship; she didn’t want to talk things out or fight for our friendship; she just seemed like our friendship wasn’t worth it to at least try to get over our differences. She just seemed like she didn’t want to care anymore.
And maybe that was enough for me to also just stopped caring. Maybe we weren’t meant to stay best friends as we got older. Maybe we were now the type of people to each other that we didn’t want in our lives anymore.
Maybe this is truly it.
Letters From Liz. 