Category: The Teenage Monologues: Season 2

My ears were ringing the longer the silence lingered in the room. I can see Jennifer’s shocked expression turn quickly into anger. I only glance over to see my dad’s face; his is harder to read.

“I know you were not in my studio with that fast-ass girl!” Jennifer spat out.

“Don’t call her out her name!” I yelled back, immediately feeling my body tense up. “She has nothing to do with this–“

“Get dressed and meet me upstairs,” my dad said in an ominous voice. I was grateful that he wasn’t yelling at me, but I know that would quickly change once I got upstairs. I looked at Sophie coming out from her hiding place slowly. I tried to walk over to her to help put her sweater back on, but Jennifer immediately shut that idea down.

“Nuh-uh, she’ll be alright,” Jennifer said, walking over toward us. “Go upstairs, and I’ll make sure she gets out of here.” I looked at Sophie; she looks terrified and I feel like absolute shit because of it. I walked away from Sophie and towards the exit of the rehearsal room. Jennifer pointed towards the back staircase of the studio; the one that leads up straight to the house upstairs.

I walked up the back staircase that led to the kitchen area. I looked around and immediately saw my father sitting at the dining room table. Fuck. He looks up and spots me near the back door. There was no turning back now.

“Sit,” my dad said, looking down at his cellphone as he did. I didn’t want to have this conversation with him; who knows how this would turn out. I stood in place; it was like my feet were glued to the floor. My dad looked up at me when he realized I wasn’t moving. “Now.”

I walked over to the table, pulling out a seat from across the table. My dad flipped his phone upside down on the table before looking at me. I knew he was communicating with Jennifer through text message.

“What’s going to happen with Sophie?” I asked.

“Right now, you should be worrying about what’s going to happen with you,” my dad responded back. He was now visibly angry with me. “I give you an inch, yet you decide to take the whole fucking mile–“

“It really isn’t what it looked like,” I tried to explain.

“The fact of the matter is that you were here with a girl without anyone else home, Milo!” my dad shouted. “I trusted you to leave you home alone while we went out, and you broke that trust for some girl–“

“She’s not just some girl!” I spat back, feeling defensive.

“You’re right,” my dad agreed, leaning back in his seat. “Sophie is more than just some girl.” I swallowed hard, not knowing what he meant by that. “Which is what makes this situation far more worse.”

“You’re making it seem like did… it,” I said, avoiding saying the actual word. It was weird to have this conversation with my dad about a girl that I saw as my friend more than an hour ago.

“Sex? What’s wrong? Can’t say it out loud?” my dad crossed his arms along his chest as he asked. “You want to do grown up shit, but can’t say said grown up shit?”

“We weren’t going to have sex,” I spat back. “I’m not as stupid as you were with mom.” I wanted my words to string. I wanted him to know that I was nothing like him and that I knew better. I wasn’t stupid to do such a stupid thing like the stupid thing he did when he was my stupid age.

“Well it sure as hell was getting close to it,” my dad scoffed. “What do you think would’ve happen if we didn’t come home? Huh?” I didn’t answer him. I know he was insinuating that we would have gotten carried away. We would’ve gotten carried away. “Exactly.”

“You think you know me so well,” I commented, annoyed at the way my dad was talking to me. “You think you know what’s my next move and what’s best for me because you think that I’m so much like you—“

“I was 15 once too,” my dad interrupted. “And you want to know what I did when I was 15?”

“Yeah, I know; you never let me hear the end of it,” I said, annoyed. “If you regret doing it so much, then why didn’t you tell mom to just get rid of me? Huh? Since it seems like I robbed you of your teenage years or something!”

“You think that’s how I feel?” my dad said loudly, growing more angry the longer we spoke. “You think that’s why I’m so upset at what you did today?”

“This isn’t the first time you caught Sophie here with me alone,” I leaned forward, reminding him of what happened last summer. “So why are you making this time such a big fucking deal? Just ground me—“

“You think this is a game,” my dad spat out. “You think you know what you’re doing and you’re not capable of making the same mistakes as I did—“

“These are my mistakes to live by!” I yelled, cutting my dad off. Nothing was said after that; he just looked at me. Did he finally get the picture? Does he finally realize that I am my own person bound to make their own mistakes? He leaned back in his seat, speechless in a way. He finally sighed before he started to speak again.

“The thing you fail to realize, Milo, is that while your mistakes are your own to make, your mistakes are also universal ones. You are not the first person in this world to make these mistakes,” my dad explained as he adjusted in his seat. “And to be quite honest, this is your second time getting caught with Sophie in this house without one of us here.” I could feel his eyes dart into mine when he looks at me. “This time wasn’t a mistake.”

“Dad,” I whined, trying to get a word into the conversation.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he emphasized. “You want to act like a man? Then I’m going to talk to you like a man.” My dad gets up from the seat across from me and sits to the one next to me. I was feeling uneasy at this moment. “I know that you are infatuated with this girl. You are wearing rose-tinted glasses and nothing else around you matters besides spending all of your time with her. You are willing to jeopardize your friendship with Mollie because she’s dating someone that you don’t like and you’re getting romantically close to someone she doesn’t like.” I looked at my dad, swallowing the dry lump stuck in my throat. “I’m not caught up in your school drama, but I know my son.”

“But—“

“A mistake is when you do something that you ultimately regret doing when you are faced with consequences. The first time was a mistake; one that you should’ve learned from. This time wasn’t a mistake. It was a decision you chose to make.”

“She just came over to rehearse for the showcase, that’s all—“ I tried to explain to my dad what the circumstances really were, but the more my father spoke, the more I felt like he was reading into my soul. It was like he knew the answers to everything, and that was bothering me, because he wasn’t necessarily… wrong.

“Milo,” he simply replied to me. “If Jennifer and I didn’t come home when we did, would you have had sex with Sophie?”

“What?” I quickly said as if it was a reflex. “Why would you even take it to extreme like that? Sophie and I are friends—“

“Milo, I wasn’t born yesterday,” my dad stated, getting annoyed with me now. “I know you see Sophie more than just a friend, and I know you like her more than you are putting on. I know you are falling for her; quickly even.” At that moment, I felt my tongue tying itself in a knot. Falling for Sophie? Like… is this me falling in love with Sophie? How would I even know what that looked like? My dad sighed as his face softened. “I need you to answer my question, Milo. Did you invite Sophie over today to have sex with her?”

“No,” I said, knowing that was the truth. “I did not invite her for that.”

“Do you think it would have gone that far if we didn’t come home in time?” he asked. I didn’t know how to answer that question. We did things in that studio that we never did with each other before. I never saw so much of Sophie’s skin like that before, and I never showed so much of my own to another girl either. I never felt my skin get as hot as it did as it touched hers. I never kissed a girl like that before. I never felt those things I felt with her before.

“I… I don’t know,” I answered. “Sophie’s not that type of girl, dad.” He sighed as he leaned back on the chair, brushing his hair back with his hand.

“Neither was your mom,” my dad said under his breath. It got me super angry.

“Sophie is nothing like mom,” I spat out. “Sophie is smart and sophisticated and classy and—“

“Milo,” my dad stoically said. “You hold Sophie up on this pedestal because of how you feel about her, but if you feel this way about her, don’t you think she would feel the same way towards you? This isn’t about her character. I know Sophie is all of those things, but she’s human too that feels human emotions as intense as you do.” He briefly looks away and sighs, as if he’s gathering his thoughts to form the next sentence. “Despite what you want to tell me or not, but I know that you and Sophie will end up doing it.”

I take in everything that my dad is telling me in this moment. I can’t help but replay the entire day over in my head. I want to do nothing but hug Sophie to comfort her, say sorry for putting her in this situation and tell her that everything is going to be okay. I want to consider today a mistake, but I don’t feel bad for the time we spent together. I don’t think I ever could.

“I’m going to ask you again, Milo; and be honest or else we can’t move past this point.” my dad looks at me in the face, closer than before. “Do you believe that things would’ve gone to that point if we didn’t come home when we did?” I tried choosing my words carefully before I answered. What the fuck do you tell your dad in a situation like this? How do you finally allow yourself to feel the things you really feel? How do you honor what you feel without feeling like you’re also ruining the beauty of it at the same time?

My dad knows the answer; not because it’s taken me longer to answer, but I can’t help but look at him. I look at him not wanting to say anything, but in doing just that is telling him everything he already knows.

“I can’t stop you from doing what you’re gonna do,” he began to say. “I can only have these conversations with you to ensure that you do the right thing. My dad didn’t sit me down to have these conversations when I was young and very much in love with your mom. Instead, he kicked me out of the house long after finding out. I’m not going to do that to you.” This was the first moment in our conversation that felt calm. My dad was no longer trying to antagonize me for having Sophie over, and I was no longer trying to hide the fact that Sophie and I were dangerously close to doing… it.

Before I can say anything, my dad’s phone vibrates on the table. He checks his message; I know it was Jennifer. He began to get up from the table. “Jennifer just dropped Sophie off at her house—“

“Dad?” I said before he started to walk away. He turned around to look at me. “It really wasn’t Sophie’s fault. I was the one that invited her over. I wanted to hang out with her for my birthday today.” My dad nodded his head as if he already knew that was my true intention for what happened today. Nothing else was planned after that; everything just happened so fast. So fast, neither of us couldn’t keep control of the situation.

My dad turned around and held his palm out. Fuck.

“You’ll only have your phone on you when you’re at school for the next week,” he simply said. “In the meantime, we still have to get ready to go to Lydia’s tonight for your birthday.” I took my phone out from my pocket and put it in my dad’s hand. He placed it in his pocket and finally walked out of the dining room area, leaving me in there with nothing but my thoughts.

What do I do now with this newfound information? What do I do now knowing this is truly how I feel about this? Us? Her?

I couldn’t stop reading Milo’s last text to me. I couldn’t believe Milo would say something as cruel as he did. We’ve known each other since we were babies. His decision to hit send on that last text made me question everything I knew about him. I immediately blocked his number and all of the social media accounts we’d followed each other on. Milo is fucking dead to me.

I looked down at my phone once the screen lit up on my bed. I wiped my eyes of all the tears I’ve cried because of that text. Of course, I went to the one person I knew I could trust. I picked up the phone, wiping my nose with the back of my sweater.

“Aaron,” I answered, clearly stuffy after crying. “I’m sorry for spazzing out, I–“

“Hey, it’s okay,” Aaron calmly said over the phone. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I just,” I began to say before I felt the tears start to build up in my eyes. “I need to get out of the house for a bit. Get my mind off of things and I just really want to see you.” I couldn’t help but wipe the tears already falling down my face. “I’ve been having such a shitty day and I just–“

“Meet me at the studio,” Aaron said. “The guys are leaving in 20 minutes but I’ll stay around.” I sniffled and smiled.

“Thanks,” I simply said before hanging up the phone. I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath before opening my bedroom door to exit.

Walking down the stairs, my mom and Alex are in the kitchen putting groceries away. Alex was the first to notice me walk into the room.

“Hey, kid,” Alex greeted me. My mom turned around, still continuing to empty the grocery bags.

“Mol,” my mom called out for me. “Would you mind helping me set the table later on for dinner? Jennifer is coming over to celebrate Milo’s birthday. ” Fuck Milo.

“I was actually going to ask if I can go out for awhile, ” I asked, leaning against the doorframe. “I wanted to rehearse a couple of the songs for vocal with my friends.”

“Is Milo going with you?” my mom asked. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes every time she mentioned his name.

“No,” I quickly said. “He had made other plans.” Lies. I don’t give a shit what that loser was doing for his birthday. My mom stopped what she was doing and put her hand on her hip, now looking at me.

“Do I know these other friends?” she asked. I sighed, already annoyed that this was taking so long to do.

“Mom,” I simply said. “It’s practice for a show that’s literally in a week.”

“Let her go, babe,” Alex said to my mom. “She’s in high school now.” I looked at Alex, surprised that he was siding with me on this. My mom sighed loudly before picking up another grocery bag to continue her task.

“Just be back home before 6,” she said as she opened the cabinets. “Jennifer should be here by then.”

“Thanks,” I said as I quickly ran back upstairs to my room. I grabbed my bag from off of my bed and hurried back out to finally meet up with Aaron.

…

I looked for the studio that him and his band were practicing it. I finally see one of the doors open and his bandmates start to walk out. One of them accidentally bumps into me to which he immediately turns around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Mollie,” Xavier said to me. I smiled, waving it off as it being nothing. He turns around and calls out for Aaron. “Yo bro, your girl is here!”

“My girl has a name, X,” Aaron said, walking toward the front of the studio door. He smiles once he sees me. “Hey, Mols.”

“Hey, Aaron,” I simply said. Nothing else is said; Aaron looks at his bandmates, giving them a sign to leave. It looks like they get it as they start to pack their things up and leave the studio. I waved goodbye to them as Aaron closed the studio door behind them. He points to the sofa at the corner of the small studio space, gesturing me to sit down.

“So tell me what happened,” Aaron said, jumping straight to the point. “I don’t like to hear you sniffling and crying over the phone.”

“I’m sorry,” I started to say. “It’s just… I had gotten this really nasty text message and it just made me upset when I read it.”

“What did it say?” Aaron asked. I was afraid to tell him only because it involved him in a certain way. I didn’t want Aaron to get himself in trouble because of Milo. I couldn’t hide the worry in my face; he immediately knew it was bothering me. “Mols?” I didn’t want to say the words out loud; it felt dirty to actually do so. I felt defeated; I gave him my phone so that he can read the messages himself.

I see the expression visibly change on Aaron’s face has he read the messages. He was angry, most definitely, but was trying to mask it every time he saw he look at him. He sighed and handed the phone back to me. He looked down at his feet as if he couldn’t look at me anymore. It made me sad. Why does this have to be so difficult to enjoy?

“Just say it,” I said coldly, not looking at him. I can see he lifted his head up to look at me. I didn’t look back at him. “Just fucking say it–“

“What do you want me to say, Mollie?” Aaron finally said, turning his entire body to face me. I finally look up to face him.

“That I deserved it. I was the one that started the whole text thing. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.” I started to list off all of the rational things I did wrong in this situation. “But I’ve been hurt by Milo for so long now that I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to hurt him the way he’s hurt me.”

“Why do you let someone like Milo even get to you?” Aaron asked. “Seriously, Mols. I understand that you guys have been friends since the beginning of time. But, for fuck’s sake, he is the worst example of what a best friend should be.”

“That doesn’t mean that what he does or says doesn’t hurt, Aaron,” I argued back. “Like Milo and I–“

“Milo has made it clear time and time again that he does not see the same value in you the way you do for him,” He stated. “I don’t care how much shit you give him about what’s-her-face. A guy should never tell a girl what he said to you.” At this point, I couldn’t help but start crying. The last 11 years of my life that I visibly remember were full of memories that involved Milo. We hanged out with each other every single day during summer break as kids. We went on vacations together. We stood up for each other at school. We always put each other first when our friendship was put to the test. This time feels absolutely different. This time, I don’t think we will ever be what we once were.

Aaron immediately put his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. I couldn’t stop sobbing in Aaron’s body. I felt bad for him. He seemed to consult me more whenever Milo upsets me. It felt like I wasn’t doing anything that made him feel like I was actually his girlfriend. He lifted my head with the palm of his hands to look at me. His thumbs brush off the tears that were falling down my face.

“It’s going to be okay, Mols,” Aaron said as he looked into my eyes. “Whenever you’re upset, it makes me so angry. I’m trying my hardest to not punch Milo in the jaw for what he did.”

“If it was some random guy I’d say go for it,” I said, trying to lessen the tension of this conversation. I sighed once I realized Aaron was serious. “But it’s not even worth all the trouble it’ll cause. You’ll lose your dual major status, and I would never hear the end of it from my sister.” I looked at him before giving him a faint smile. “I appreciate your need to protect me though.” Aaron returned the gesture; faintly smiling as he let out a deep breath. I couldn’t stop looking at him in this moment.

I protect those I care about,” Aaron said in a cryptic way before looking into my eyes as well. “But you? I’m so in love with you, Mollie.” His words bubbled in me like a can of freshly opened soda. I wanted to scream it out to the world. I finally felt what love truly was. I know that there’s so much about love I still have to learn. In this moment, I felt an undeniable truth. I was also completely in love with Aaron.

He leaned in to kiss my lips and I immediately accepted it. This kiss felt different than the ones we typically share. Sure, we’ve made out before, but this felt more than just that. In a way, it felt like it was pure lust. I wanted nothing more than to feel Aaron’s skin on mine.

Jennifer always told me that you will know when our first time is meant to happen. “You will know when you’re with the right person to share that moment with. You’re not going to have that feeling with just anybody.”

I suddenly start to unzip Aaron’s hoodie as we continued to kiss. He helped by taking his arms out of the sleeves to place his hands on my face. He deepened the kiss as he grabbed the back of my neck and ran his fingers down my spine. Whoa. I get up from the sofa, breaking the kiss to stand in front of him. I looked at him sitting on the sofa as I began to take off my sweatshirt. Our eyes were locked on each other. In the heat of the moment, I sat on top of his lap, facing him to continue kissing him. I was feeling things I never felt before until I felt Aaron break up the kiss.

“Hold on,” Aaron said, catching his breath. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I looked at him, trying to not reveal just how vulnerable I was in this moment.

“Do… do you not want to do this?” I asked, looking at Aaron. He didn’t answer right away and I was beginning to feel too exposed. I was about to get off of Aaron, grab my things, and leave the studio. I’m stupid to ever misread his true intentions.

“I do,” Aaron started to answer. “More than anything, but–“

“But what?” I asked him, not letting him finish his sentence. “But you think I’m not ready or something?”

“Is this your first time doing it?” Aaron asked me, which took me back for a moment. “Is this where you want your first time to be?”

“Well, we would share our first time here together,” I try to persuade him. Aaron didn’t look convinced.

“Mols, this wouldn’t be my first time,” Aaron admitted. I looked at Aaron, surprised to what I just heard. I get up from his lap, backing away from the sofa.

“What?” I asked. I couldn’t say anything else but just that. I really wanted to ask the hard-hitting questions. Why didn’t I know this before? When was your first time? Who was it with? What made you decide that would be your first time? “What?”

“I don’t want our first time being on some dingy sofa in the studio,” Aaron explained, getting up from the seat. “I want your first time to be everything you’d imagine.”

“So, it’s true,” I said, disappointed. “I’m… I’m not your first?” I hated that my words were coming off this way. I didn’t want him to think I was saving myself for him, especially now that I knew he didn’t save himself for me. I feel so fucking stupid. I looked back at him, feeling angry more than anything now. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that you’d had sex already? Why was it this big secret?”

“We never spoke about this before,” Aaron answered, getting a bit defensive. “It wasn’t a big secret; you never asked.”

“That’s because I assumed you never had sex either!” I shouted back, reaching for my sweatshirt from the ground. “Like how are you gonna tell me moments before we do it that this isn’t your first time?”

“Mollie,” Aaron said my name in a stern way, keeping a straight face as he spoke to me. “The first time I had sex was with my girlfriend of two years. My last relationship. The one you know about.”

“Stop lying to me, Aaron,” I spat back, grabbing my things as I spoke. This was stupid for me to do. I feel so… fucking… stupid. “You’re trying to tell me you were having sex with your girlfriend in middle school?!” Aaron looked confused as if he couldn’t understand the language I was speaking in. “Were you just fucking girls behind my back these last couple of months and didn’t tell me?” His eyebrows scrunched together, visibly getting mad at me.

“Maybe if you didn’t jump to all of these conclusions, you’d allow me to speak,” Aaron spat out. “We clearly need to do more work before we both start thinking with our body parts–“

“Just fucking say it, Aaron!” I yelled out now, wanting nothing more to crawl out of my own skin and disappear. “Just say you don’t want to have sex with me because I’m inexperienced and you want someone who knows what they’re doing–“

“For fuck’s sake Mollie, I’m older than you!” Aaron admitted. “Have you thought about that possibility? I am not the same age as you!” I stood there in complete shock. I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

“You’re what?” I asked, now feeling extremely uncomfortable. I start to panic in the studio as I gathered my things to leave. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this, I can’t–“

“Mollie,” Aaron said as he grabbed my arms to look at me.

“Let go of me!” I screamed. I got out of his grasp, picking up the things I had dropped. “I can’t fucking believe you! You wouldn’t tell me something as important as you being older than me?!”

“Mols, it’s only by a year,” Aaron clarified. A year? I feel the tension leave my shoulders. God, I feel even more fucking stupid.

“A year?” I asked softly. “So… so you’re–“

“Gonna be 16 this year,” Aaron finished my sentence.

“Then how are you in all the freshman performing art class–“

“I’m a sophomore that transferred from another school, therefore placing me in those freshman classes,” Aaron further explained. “Mollie, why do you take things to the extreme without even letting me explain myself?” I don’t say anything back. I knew I fucked up and ruined what was suppose to be a memorable moment between us. I always tend to fuck everything good up.

“I understand if you want to break up with me,” I said, trying to keep my composure. “I understand if I’m too dramatic or if I freak out over the littlest of things and you honestly deserve someone that–” Before I could continue, Aaron kisses me hard on the lips; deepening it every time we both separated for air. Once we came out of the kiss, I looked at him straight in the eyes. He already was looking into mine.

“I’m sorry that we didn’t talk about this sooner,” Aaron began to say. “I didn’t expect us to move so fast like this.” Aaron placed his hand on my cheek, caressing my chin as he slowly lifted it close to his mouth. “But I meant what I said earlier, Mols. I love you.” I couldn’t stop staring into his eyes. My emotions were all over the place, and maybe that’s just because I wanted this to work out.

“I love you too, Aaron,” I gently said as I softly kissed his lips.

It was unseasonably warmer on this day. Perhaps the weather was being nice considering today was Milo’s birthday. I was glad to be spending the day with him after seeing how down he looked over video chat. I know that practicing our music for band would also get his mind off of things.

I walked up the steps to Milo’s house, texting him that I was downstairs. It wasn’t long until he opened the front door. He had a huge smile on his face.

“Hey, Scout,” Milo greeted me. His smile made me smile. Seeing Milo always made me smile. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course, it’s your birthday,” I said, walking into Milo’s house. I reached in my bookbag and grabbed the small box. Milo looked confused.

“Scout,” he said as he looked at the box in my hand. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to,” I said, handing the box to him. “It’s only your birthday once a year.” Milo looked at the box and slowly lift the box up. He smiled once he saw the homemade beaded bracelet.

“This is dope!” Milo said as he took the bracelet out. “You made this?” I nodded my head as he looked at me. He smiled and immediately gave me a hug. My face got really hot. “Thank you, Scout.”

“You’re welcome,” I said as I hugged him back. He gave the best hugs. We finally let each other go as Milo opened the door to the rehearsal room. Milo closed the door behind us once we both entered.

“You ready for the show next week?” Milo asked as he grabbed his binder from the bag on the ground.

“I’m always nervous about these shows,” I said, taking my violin out of its case. “I’ve accepted that the strings section always has to fight extra hard to get the audience to listen to us play.” I had to admit it; I slowly felt my passion for music slip through my fingers the more we did these performances. It’s disappointing that I’ve allowed the opinions of others really take away my love for the violin. I’m disappointed I’ve allowed my own opinions of my father ruin the violin for me.

“Hey,” Milo said before putting his hand on my shoulder. “You do know that the strings are just as important, right?”

“I guess,” I answered, getting my binder out of my bag.

“It is,” Milo sternly said. “My parents were both in the strings section when they were at Waverly.” I looked up at Milo. This is the first time hearing about this.

“Are you just saying that to make me feel better?” I asked, half teasing Milo but also being serious at the same time.

“No, I’m serious,” he continued to say, clearly telling the truth. His face was stoic. “That’s how my dad met my mom. They were both violinists in the ensemble.”

“I don’t take your father as the violinist type,” I said, trying to picture it. “And wasn’t he a dual major?”

“First of its kind at Waverly,” Milo added, sitting on the ground with his legs crossed. I followed him, also sitting on the ground across from him. “My mom wasn’t, but she was, like, the valedictorian of their grade.” I nodded my head as Milo spoke. I was always nervous whenever he spoke about his biological mum. From what he has told me in the past, his mum didn’t make it to her graduation day. She passed away just days after she had Milo.

“I bet the strings section was super popular when they were in it,” I commented, wondering how did it become what its become nowadays.

“They were the underdogs,” Milo added. “The vocal program was the most popular program at Waverly. He would always tell me how the vocal program was more so a popularity contest than talent. Jennifer was in the vocal program.”

“Isn’t she a dance teacher though?” I asked, trying to piece together the complexity of Milo’s family. Milo smirked as if I already knew the answer to my own question.

“Exactly,” Milo simply said. I leaned back as I looked at Milo. She was suppose to be a dual major too.

“So what happened?” I asked. “How did the strings go from being the best in Waverly to the laughing stock?”

“That I don’t know,” Milo started to answer. “But you have time to make it great again.” He leaned forward; it was like I saw the stars light up in his eyes when he looked at me. “You are the only girl in the string section, and you always know your music and you’re super fucking smart. Once you start believing in your abilities, more people will pay attention.”

“Is that what you do?” I asked, teasing more than seriously asking.

“Yes,” Milo answered honestly. “I honestly don’t think I’m that much greater than those in our band class and in my vocal class. Dual major is just a fancy word that means faking it ’til you make it.”

“Stop,” I immediately said. “Milo, you’re super talented. You are so deserving of your status.”

“Scout, you’re a better musician than me. Mollie’s a better vocalist than me. Shit, sometimes I believe Aaron is a better–“

“Stop,” I said, now more stern. “I will not allow you to talk down on yourself on your birthday of all days. Aren’t we all our worst critics? Why can’t we just tell ourselves the things we tell those we care about? Life would be much easier if we just accepted the fact that we are all deserving of the good things we have.” Milo smiled as I spoke. I couldn’t help but sigh and think about Milo’s words. You’re a better musician than me.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Milo asked. I shook my head, looking around as I came out of deep thought. “And don’t say nothing because I know when you’re so deep into thought that you’re literally in outer space.” I faintly smiled, still shocked that Milo has known me long enough to pick up these random things about me.

“My father was the one that encouraged me to keep playing,” I said, looking down at the ground, fidgeting with my hair. “My mum wanted me to do something more practical, like become a lawyer or a doctor or some sort of researcher. They used to bicker with each other, trying to convince the other what I should go and study as I got older.” As I spoke, I began to replay all of those moments in my head; when my family was actually whole back in the UK. “When my father went to prison, I was ultimately going to give music up. It just… reminded me too much of him and it was painful to continue doing something I used to do with him.”

“What changed your mind?” Milo asked, eyes locked onto me as I spoke. What made me change my mind? Waverly wasn’t my first choice of school despite knowing how great their performing arts programs were. I know for a fact that if my father was around when it came time to choosing high schools, Waverly would’ve been one. I would’ve practiced different level of pieces to show the admissions committee by diversity, I would’ve made sure my music was memorized, and I would’ve made auditioning for Waverly a bigger deal than I actually did. But even after all of that, what made me change my mind?

“You did,” I said out loud to Milo. “When we were doing our exit project and we went to The Den for the first time. I guess you were just so persuasive,” I added just to tease him. I laughed as he smiled.

“You auditioned for Waverly because of me?” he asked as if he didn’t believe me. I nodded my head.

“Yeah,” I softly said. “I guess in a way… you’ve helped me rediscover my love for music again. Some of my happiest moments are just sitting around with you and rehearsing. You make it feel exciting and inspirational, so it bothers me when you say that you don’t think you’re good enough because–” I stopped myself short. I looked at Milo, not realizing that he was looking directly at me as I spoke. “I think you’re more than good. You’re great.”

“That means a lot, Scout,” Milo said, smiling. I smiled back, finally letting out a deep breath. I took Milo’s music binder, flipping through the various pages of music. He got up from the ground. “So what piece do you want to practice?” He asked. I flipped through the pages, trying to see which of the songs would be best for us to practice as Milo walked over to get our instrument cases. I flipped to a page with Milo’s handwriting on it with words accompanying some music notes on a staff. “Stay for tonight / if you want to / I can show you / what my dreams are made of / as I’m dreaming of your face.” As I continued to read it, I heard Milo call out my name. “Scout?”

“Huh?” I looked up as Milo stood in front of me. He looked down at his binder and immediately tried to take it from me. “Whoa, whoa! Wait!”

“That’s nothing,” Milo quickly answered, getting red in the face.

“I didn’t ask what it was,” I said, crossing my arms along my chest. “So clearly it’s something. You write your own music?” I asked.

“Not seriously,” Milo answered, flipping away from the page. I tried to flip it back while he kept shooting me away.

“I wanna hear it!” I said excitingly. “I want to be the first to hear a Milo Kamalani original.”

“Scout, it’s really not that good,” Milo debated. “It shouldn’t have even been in this binder in the first place–“

“Milo,” I walked in front of him, now looking at his face. “From what I read before you got all ‘it’s nothing’, it was really poetic.” Milo didn’t say anything back, but he definitely was in deep thought. “Looks like you’re the one now in deep thought.” I teased. Milo snapped out of it, smiling at me.

“I… wasn’t expecting to ever sing this,” Milo said, looking down at the binder. “I don’t even know if I remember the chords; it’s been so long–“

“Then just read it to me,” I suggested. “Like a poem.” Milo took a moment to look away from me. He sighed, looking down at the binder again.

“Stay for tonight if you want to,” Milo began reciting the words. “I can show you what my dreams are made of as I’m dreaming of your face.” Milo briefly stopped and hums to himself as if he was remembering the chords to the song. He’s totally putting them together in his head. “How the hell did you ever pick me,” Milo started to read the page again; this time singing the words out loud as lyrics. “Honestly, I could sign you a song, but I don’t think words can express your beauty…” He looked up at me once more, confidently singing the lyrics, remembering how they went. “They say that love is forever; your forever is all that I need,” Milo locks his eyes with mine and it was in this moment I felt that feeling I was afraid of ever feeling again. This time, it felt right. It felt good.

The feeling that I knew I was falling hard for Milo Kamalani.

“Can’t promise that things won’t be broken, but I swear that I will never leave,” he continued to sing. “Please stay forever with me.” He sighed when he stopped, as if he was nervous about what I was going to say. To be quite honest, I didn’t have any words to say; he had summed them all up perfectly in a song that he thought wasn’t good enough for me to hear.

All I could say–or rather do– in this moment was gently kiss him.

I felt him hesitate as soon as I kissed him, but he immediately relaxed once I did. Kissing him this time around was different; it felt natural. All of the other times nearly felt like mistakes; we never spoke about them and pretended as if they never happened but this kiss felt like it was supposed to happen. I couldn’t deny how I felt about Milo anymore; I knew for a long time I liked him. But to feel this sense of possibly falling for him was scary. Maybe that’s why I pretended nothing was happening between us; maybe I knew I would fall for this boy eventually.

And eventually, it came.

Milo continued to kiss me, caressing my neck with his hand as the deep began to get deeper. I knew I should’ve stopped it before it got too intense, but I simply did not want to experience another moment when I wasn’t kissing his lips. It was intoxicating, and I felt myself wanting more the longer we kissed. I took my hoodie off, feeling hot in my skin. Milo stopped the kiss, watching me take it off. Dammit. I looked at him as he looked at me, hoping he was able to read the expression on my face: “why did you stop?”

“I’m sorry–” I quickly said, beginning to regret even getting kissing him in the first place. Before that thought even began to stick onto my brain, Milo placed his lips on mine once more, kissing me harder. His skin was hot to the touch, noticing his sweater was still on his body. I don’t know what came over me, but I wanted my hands to touch his skin and sink into it as if it was hot lava. I began to tug at his sweater to remove it, but it wasn’t long until he took the entire thing off himself. Our skin was touching, our lips were touching; what was to become of this moment?

I didn’t care. All I know is that this was as honest and open I’ve been since developing these feelings for Milo. Are we… falling for each other?

Milo’s 15th birthday was the day that we changed. It was the day that I knew I won’t ever forget, even if later in life we’d go out separate ways. It has now become a part of my story; one that I truly did not expect.

I quickly broke off the kiss once I heard the door of the rehearsal room open, which made Milo turn around. I grabbed my hoodie off from the ground, running to hide behind a pile of yoga mats at the corner.

“Dad! Jennifer! It’s not what it looks like!” Milo quickly spat out, completely now in panic mode.

Today was my 15th birthday; something that I wasn’t looking forward to coming this year. Every year, my family and I would go to Lydia’s house and celebrate with my family and Jennifer’s side of the family. It didn’t bother me in the past; it was fun celebrating my birthday with my best friend just a month a apart from hers. This year, I wanted to spend it with anyone else besides her.

I had walked out of my bedroom when I heard Jennifer call me in for breakfast. Once I got into the kitchen, there were birthday balloons tied behind my chair and confetti waffles on a plate. I smiled, happy to have my favorite breakfast for my birthday this year again.

“Happy Birthday!” Jennifer and my dad shouted; Jennifer being heard more. She came over and gave me a hug.

“Fifteen years old, my God,” she said, letting me go from the hug. My dad then came to me to give me a hug as well; of course, he had to tussle my hair in the process. “Where does the time go?”

“Thanks,” I said, sitting down at the table, ready to dig into my waffles. My brother Micah comes running over from his seat to hand me something.

“Happy Birthday, Milo; I made a macaroni necklace for you!” Micah handed me the homemade necklace.

“Thanks, bud,” I said to Micah as he ran back to his chair at the table. Jennifer has a huge smile on her face; the same goes for my dad.

“I remember when you were born 15 years ago,” my dad began to say. I couldn’t help but sigh loudly.

“Dad, you tell this story every year,” I said.

“Exactly,” he said. “So where was I? Right, so it’s 2008 and your mom and I were dancing at Lydia’s wedding. After the dance, she needed to sit down and relax her feet; I had told her she didn’t need to wear high heels if she didn’t want to but she did anyway…”

“We had prepared a song for my mom and her husband, so it was time to sing it for them,” Jennifer continued the story. “Now, your dad always said that I kissed him first after finishing the song–“

“Wait a minute,” my dad interrupted, facing Jennifer. “We both kissed each other at the same time, let’s not twist the story now–“

“You dad totally kissed me first, which was wrong at the time,” Jennifer continued to explain. “But, something about the music just took us over, I guess.”

“You can say the kiss upset your mom very much,” my dad nervously continued the story. “And I guess you were also mad at me considering that’s when you decided you wanted to be born.”

“Decided?” I crossed my arms and cocked up an eyebrow. “I don’t think babies can decide when they want to be born.”

“You’d be surprised,” Jennifer added, looking at my brother and sisters. Ew.

“My life changed the moment you came into the world,” my dad continued the story. “It was such a whirlwind of a day but I wouldn’t have changed anything about it.”

“I remember Gwen wanted you to name him, but you had absolutely no idea what to name him,” Jennifer said out loud, looking at my dad. “You were about to name him, like, Spot or something–“

“Spot?!” I spat out my orange juice. “You were going to name me after a dog, dad?!”

“Do not listen to Jennifer,” my dad laughed as he explained. “I had no idea what to name you at the time; I didn’t have anything planned so I told your mom that she should name you, and she said ‘how about Milo Kamalani Jr.”’ He smiled as he took a pause in the story. “You instantly reacted to the name as if it was meant to be yours.”

“It was,” Jennifer added on. “Just how you were always meant to play music.” I nodded my head, eating the waffles on my plate. I always wondered what my life would be like if I didn’t get into music. What would my hobbies even be? It didn’t make sense for me to get into anything else considering both my parents were in the performing arts. I wouldn’t be surprised if it suddenly got into my siblings’ lives when they got older. While I love that music is such a big part of my life, I sometimes wish I can turn it off for awhile.

“Speaking of music,” my father began to say as he looked at me. “Remember that we have the open house show on Tuesday.” I rolled my eyes as I continued to eat my breakfast. My father knew exactly when to switch from being my dad to being my vocal teacher.

“I know,” I simply said, playing with my food on my plate.

“We have to go and run some errands before we go to Lydia’s tonight,” my dad explained. I looked up at him, definitely not excited to be spending my birthday over there.

“We’re going to drop off Micah and the girls, so make sure you’re ready to leave within the next hour,” Jennifer added, getting up from her seat.

“Wait, why do I have to go?” I asked. Jennifer turned around, confused.

“It’s not like you’ll be there alone,” Jennifer explained. “Mollie should be home.”

“Can’t I just stay here by myself?” I asked. “I mean, I am old enough–“

“You’re 15, Milo,” Jennifer emphasized as she put her hand on her hip. “You’re not old enough to stay home by yourself.”

“Why not?” I began to complain. I really didn’t understand why I couldn’t just stay here on my own being that I wanted to be anywhere but at Mollie’s house.

“Pep, I think he can trust him to be home alone today,” my dad said to Jennifer. I looked over at him, shocked that he would even support me in this situation. “It’s his birthday.” Jennifer looked at my dad before she finally sighed and looked over at me.

“Alright,” Jennifer said. “We will come and pick you up later today to head over to my mom’s house; you better not have any secret parties or hangouts while we are gone either!” I couldn’t help but laugh at Jennifer.

“I’m not,” I said as I got up from my seat to put my plate in the kitchen sink. “Besides, doing that is so… well… 15 years ago when dad used to do it.”

“Whoa whoa, what makes you think I would do something like that?” my dad scoffed, acting surprised I would assume such thing.

“Well,” I began to answer. “You had me when you were my age, and I already gotten the whole ‘where babies come from’ talk.” I smiled, walking away from the kitchen table as I heard Jennifer laugh out loud.

…

“Happy birthday, dude!” Davy said over the phone through a video chat. “The big 1-5!”

“15 is not the big age, man,” I corrected him as I sat in my desk chair on my phone. “Now next year is where all the fun is gonna be at. Sweet 16’s, sophomore year–“

“I don’t even want to think about sophomore year just yet,” Davy said. “I’m barely making it through freshman year.”

“You better get it together Davy; you might get replaced by another freshman next year if your grades aren’t great.” I teased him and laughed. He rolled his eyes and scoffed underneath his breath.

“I wish a freshman would,” Davy threatened. I laughed until I saw my phone screen light up. It caught me by surprise to see Mollie’s name pop up out of the blue. “Mollie?”

“What?” Davy asked, confused. I shook my head, still looking down at my phone.

“Mollie texted me,” I said as I began to unlock my phone. “She hasn’t texted me in God knows how long.”

“That’s super weird, dude,” Davy added. “Like, she is supposed to be your best friend. Inseparable. Like, you should be spending your birthday with your BFF.”

“Yeah well my ‘BFF’ decided to be a ‘BFFTLM’,” I said, opening the text message from Mollie.

“Dude, what the fuck does that even mean?” Davy laughed as he asked. I didn’t answer him right away as I started to read Mollie’s message.

molscastro: happy birthday I guess even though you didn't wish me one literally a month ago... like always I have to be the bigger person in this "friendship"! at least I showed up to your house for my birthday for the sake of YOUR family, but like I said you DON'T care or EVER cared about our friendship so, whatever.

“Milo?” I looked up at Davy, forgetting he was even on the line with me.

“Dude, Mollie just sent me this very condescending ass birthday message,” I said, angry now.

milolani: dude, what the fuck is your problem? for you to say that you were always being the bigger person yet texting me that stupid ass message just comes to show just how twisted your view on our friendship is. what, did Aaron tell you to write that message since you do nothing but follow his lead now?

“What did she say?” Davy asked, wanting to know what was going on. I didn’t answer him as I watched the typing bubble pop up in Mollie’s message conversation.

molscatro: you SO want to believe that about Aaron but of course it's coming off as pure jealousy that someone actually likes me, unlike you! Aaron is a REAL man, not like you trying to be one in front of your talentless GF Sophie! xD

milolani: if you think Aaron is a "real man", then damn... I didn't realize you were THAT delusional. only stupid girls think that about a guy who literally talks to every girl in the school just because he's in a band! HAHAHA!

At this point, I wanted to hurt Mollie’s feelings. I didn’t care if I took it too far because she continuously wanted me to take it too far.

milolani: now leave me alone and go suck off aaron.

I locked my phone screen and threw it on the bed, not looking back up at the computer screen. It was quiet before I heard Davy awkwardly cough.

“Okay, uhm… I’m gonna go; I’ll talk to you later,” Davy said before he quickly disconnected from the call. Did I just say what I said to Mollie? A part of me felt guilty for letting my anger get the best of me, but a part of me didn’t want to let Mollie get away from saying what he said. She always thought she could talk to me in a certain way without me saying anything back… let her sit in the response that she created. Before I turned around to grab my phone from my bed, my computer begins to ring once again. I turned around toward the screen and to my surprise, it was Sophie. I answered the call and threw on a smile to cover up how I was really feeling.

“Hey Scout,” I greeted Sophie, trying to sound convincing. She has a huge smile on her face looking at her screen.

“Happy birthday, Milo!” Sophie shouts over the phone. I smiled at her excitement. She always knew how to make me smile.

“Thanks,” I said, trying to sound convincing. “It’s been a weird day so far.” I couldn’t really hide how I felt with Sophie. I always felt that Sophie could tell when I was being truthful or not; but even if she couldn’t tell, I always could and it always felt wrong acting one way when really I know Sophie was the only person I can be truthful around at this point.

“Weird? On your birthday?” Sophie asked, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m just not having the greatest day, to be honest,” I admitted and sighed. “My family and I are celebrating at Mollie’s house later and I really don’t want to be around her. My siblings are already there and I was lucky enough to convince my parents to stay here as they ran their errands.” Sophie nodded her head as if she was trying to put together the words to comfort me.

“I’m sorry you’re not having a good birthday,” Sophie finally said. “I wish there was something that I can do to help.” I looked at Sophie though the computer screen realizing that talking to her has been the only good moment I’ve had today with another person. It was like something in my body knew that Sophie was my own personal dopamine of some sort. I didn’t want to continue my birthday without that feeling; I didn’t want to end this call and feel like I had nobody to celebrate my birthday with, yet alone with someone I actually wanted to celebrate with.

“Are you doing anything today?” I simply asked.

“Nothing exciting,” Sophie answered, sighing. “My mum is working late tonight so I was just going to practice the piece for the open house show.”

“You wanna come and practice at my place?” I asked, cocking up an eyebrow. “I have nothing planned for today, and I guess practicing for this show would be the best option.”

“But you said that your parents aren’t home,” Sophie mentioned.

“We can just hang out in the studio downstairs,” I said, trying to convince Sophie. She didn’t look too convinced.

“I don’t know, Milo,” Sophie voiced out. “What if they come home and catch us practicing?”

“I’ll let my dad know you’re coming over,” I said, which would be the first lie I ever told Sophie. I would’ve told my dad if it was anyone else coming over to practice, but this was Sophie… he already has a bad feeling about us hanging out alone. “I honestly just want to hang out with you on my birthday. You’re the only person that actually cares about me outside of it being my birthday, and, I don’t know…” I looked at Sophie through the screen, noticing just how pretty she was. “You always make things feel better.” Sophie smiles, which makes me blush. Gosh, thank God this is through a video call and she can’t see my face noticeably getting more red.

“Okay,” Sophie finally gives in, smiling as she does. “I’ll grab my violin and I’ll meet you at your place in 30 minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting,” I said, smiling through the screen. Sophie waves before disconnecting from the call. I quickly get up from my seat to get myself ready for when Sophie comes over. I noticed my phone screen light up on my bed. I looked over at it, seeing the call notification from Mollie come through. I don’t pick up; I actually flip the switch to put my phone on ‘do not disturb’. Talk to you later, ‘Best-Friend-Forever-That-Left-Me’.

It was the last class of the day, but I dreaded going to my dad’s vocal class. I know that if my dad were to ever revoke my dual status at Waverly, he would purposely take me out of band just so that I was still in his line of sight at school. My dad has shown me time and time again that he doesn’t trust me no matter what I do, so the best way to keep me in line is to threaten my status and take away the only thing I give a fuck about in Waverly.

I walked into the vocal room and looked around; all of my classmates were talking among themselves. I glanced over at Mollie sitting in one of the corners with Aaron. At this point, there was nothing I can do to save my former best friend from utter heartbreak, and eternal embarrassment. She simply made her bed and now she has to lay in it. I turned away, looking at my dad talking to a couple of students near his desk. I sat in my assigned seat without saying a single word. I had nothing to say to anyone; my status was on probation all because Mollie decided to drop me as her friend. Best friend.

…

I walked out of the vocal room once the bell rang; I had to have been the first one out of there. I wanted to leave as quickly as possible. I felt like I was suffocating all period; having to hear Aaron’s voice through quartets and looking at my father’s direction every time Mollie and Aaron did a thing. It’s like he wanted to create any opportunity to revoke my status, which didn’t make any sense considering he pressured me in becoming a damn dual major.

I walked toward the hallway, leading me to the exit of the school. I was power walking at this point, desperately trying to get out of this bad luck of a school–

“Milo!” I hear a girl’s voice call out. I immediately stopped, turning around to see Sophie in the middle of the crowded hallway. Everyone began to move in slow-motion; the only thing that was focused was Sophie. What is this feeling? Why do I feel like this all of a sudden?

She walks in my direction before stopping in front of me.

“Where’d you been all day?” Sophie asked, looking up at me.

“I’ve been here,” I answered. I looked behind Sophie and noticed Aaron and Mollie walking out of the vocal room, hands intertwined with one another. I looked down at Sophie. “You busy after school?”

“I’m not,” she answered, smiling at me. “I figured that I come and find you since I didn’t get to see you in band today.”

“You were looking for me?” I asked, smiling. That’s cute.

“Well if I just said that I didn’t see you in class today, doesn’t that indeed tell you I was looking for you?” If there’s a debate club around, Sophie needs to join it.

“I guess so,” I teased. Sophie began to walk toward the school exit; I willingly followed behind her.

“Where to, Scout?” I asked Sophie. She doesn’t answer right away, but I’ve noticed that we’re walking opposite of what we usually walk after school. “Scout?”

“The Den,” Sophie answered as she walked. The Den was what we called the stage at the park Sophie took me to for our middle school project. Why would Sophie just take me to her spot all of a sudden? We haven’t been there since the project. I didn’t say anything back; I didn’t want to ask her all of these questions if she already has something planned in mind. These were some of the things I’ve let Sophie take control of; pacing her time to sit down and talk about whatever might be on her mind. For me, it was an agonizing waiting game before getting to The Den.

Once we got there, Sophie walked ahead of me, jumping on the stage and walking around on it. I slowed down, walking to the front row and taking a seat. Sophie turned around and faced me.

“What?” she asked me with a smile on her face.

“Nothing, just giving you your deserved time to shine,” I teased, pretending to cheer her on. She laughed as she sat down at the edge of the stage. I get up from my seat to go and sit next to her on the stage. She watches me as I do. “I feel like I haven’t talked to you in so long.”

“I know,” Sophie said, looking down at her hands. “I guess it’s been a rough couple of days for us, huh?” I sighed loudly, reflecting back on those days. Life has felt weird since having that talk with my dad; it feels like I am constantly walking on eggshells in school, hoping nothing would put my dual status in jeopardy.

“Yeah,” I simply answered. “You want to talk about it?” Sophie looked uneasy. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s just that we’re–“

“In my safe space,” Sophie finished my sentence. She put on a faint smile before taking a deep breath. “Everything has been stressful. Between the rehearsals and showcases and performances and just life in general… I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe.”

“I know how you feel,” I agreed. I paused before I began to vent what was on my mind. “My dad kinda threatened my dual status after my fight with Mollie in his class.”

“What?” Sophie said, shocked. “Why?”

“He thinks I’m not taking the program seriously,” I explained, growing annoyed. “So he told me that if I get into any trouble, he’ll personally revoke my status.”

“Which major would he revoke from you?” she asked, looking worried. I didn’t answer right away, but I know Sophie already had an idea of which one I’d be removed from. “Why would he take away your band major?”

“Because he knows–” I began to say, but quickly held back. My dad was willing to take my band major away from me for two reasons: he knows that I prefer it over vocal, but also because he knows this is the only class I have with Sophie. He wasn’t stupid; he knew exactly how to make my life a living, walking hell. “Because he knows how to make my life miserable, that’s why.”

“I don’t think that would be the reason,” Sophie debated, playing with the chain of her necklace. “You have been getting in trouble a lot in school, maybe he’s just trying to scare you into behaving better.”

“I know my own dad, Scout,” I nagged, not appreciating the fact that she wasn’t supportive or agreeing with me. “I know when he’s doing the absolute most just to make my life harder than it needs to be.”

“What he’s doing is seeing your full potential being in the dual major program in the first place,” Sophie pointed out, crossing her arms along her chest. “You’re allowing Mollie and Aaron to jeopardize your status.”

“I’m not allowing anyone to do anything,” I snapped back, getting upset. “Are you Team Mollie and Aaron now or something?”

“I’m Team “Doing the Right Thing” Milo,” Sophie spat back at me. “Your dad is only trying to look out for you. People like Mollie and Aaron are going nowhere but to each other to hang out, kiss, and be a couple. They do not give a damn if your status gets revoked, but you care so much about them and what they are doing.”

“Mollie was my best friend!” I yelled out, getting up from the stage. “My dad’s only agenda is to make sure Mollie and I stay friends to keep Jennifer happy! He doesn’t give a shit about how I feel or what I’m going through as long as I follow in line and do what he wants me to do–“

“At least your father cares about you!” Sophie yelled at me, also standing up on the stage. She looks up at me, straight in the face when she does. “Your dad actually cares about your wellbeing and wants you to do better because he knows you can do better! How dare you say he only does these things for his benefit! I know what it’s like to have a parent that only does things for his own benefit!” I didn’t say anything back to Sophie. I just looked down at her, waiting for her to continue. “My father attempted suicide in prison last week! He tried to end his life because he couldn’t take being in prison anymore without considering what it would have done to my mum and me!”

“I-” I began to say, random sounds slipping out of my mouth trying to put a response together. This is what she wanted to talk about. This is why we came here in the first place. She trusted me enough to tell me this.

“Save it,” Sophie dismissed, grabbing her bookbag from the ground and putting it on. “I’m leaving–“

“Sophie, wait,” I tried to get her attention; she clearly did not want to hear it at this point. “Listen, I didn’t know–“

“Of course you didn’t; how would you,” she mocked, walking towards the stairs on the side of the stage. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“Of course it does,” I shouted across the stage as Sophie stopped. She didn’t turn around to face me; she simply just stood there looking forward. “It’s always gonna matter, and if you needed to talk about it out loud, then I am so sorry for making it about me.” Sophie still doesn’t turn around. “I knew you needed to tell me something, or else we wouldn’t have come to your safe space today. I know that because I listen to you, and I care about what you have to say.” I meant what I said, Scout.

Sophie slowly turns around and looks at me; her eyes are puffy and her nose is red. She was crying. I began to walk over to her, faster and faster the closer I got to her. Once I finally got to where she was standing, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. One thing that I wish I got a lot more of were hugs. A hug to let me know I was protected and safe, that my feelings mattered and that whatever I was going through actually made sense. If I couldn’t get that, I would want the next person who needed it get it. Sophie; she needed it much more than I did in this moment. I squeezed her tight as I hugged her, hearing her quietly weep in my chest. She depended on me, and in a way I knew I depended on her too. We both needed each other to keep ourselves grounded in the mist of teenage chaos.

I felt her loosen her grip, which made me let her go from our hug. She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Sorry, I’m a mess,” Sophie said as she wiped her tears from her cheek. I shook my head, looking down at her.

“Not even close,” I reassured her. She looked up at me and faintly smiled. At that moment, I wanted to do nothing more than kiss her front and in center stage. I’ve wanted to kiss her since the last time I got to kiss her. We stood there, staring at each other for what felt like literal hours; nothing else around us mattered. Maybe I should kiss her…

Before I was able to lean in to kiss her, we both jump up to a voice of an adult. We looked out towards the seating area and noticed a park-keeper talking to us.

“Hey! You’re not allowed to be here!” they shouted as they began to walk closer to us. We both grabbed our bags and jumped off the stage, running out of The Den before we got in any more trouble. That’s the last thing I need to happen to me today.

“Hey Mollie,” I heard Ronnie call out my name during hallway passing. I stopped and turned back, waiting for her to catch up to me. “Dude, where have you been?”

“Grounded,” I rolled my eyes as I continued to walk. “I was at my dad’s house for the weekend.”

“Oof,” Ronnie reacted. “Your mom sure knows how to ground you, huh?”

“It’s stupid,” I began to complain. “Like I didn’t know standing up to a bully was now deemed as punishable these days.”

“You know our parents will never understand our generation,” Ronnie concluded, opening her locker door. “They still think telling a teacher is the right thing to do when really, if someone sees you snitching to a teacher, your social life in school is completely destroyed.” I listened to Ronnie as she spoke and took her books out of her locker, slamming the door shut when she was done.

“Yeah, like I can’t even hang out with Aaron after school because my sister has made it her mission to also punish me,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Why is your sister punishing you?” Ronnie asked, walking down the hall with me.

“It’s a long story,” I dismissed, not wanting to go down the rabbit hole of my family tree. “But I haven’t been to dance practice in awhile because I’ve been hanging out with Aaron after school.” I looked at Ronnie as she cocked an eyebrow up. “What?”

“I mean, you have been hanging out with Aaron a lot these days,” Ronnie mentioned. “I feel like I haven’t seen you at the pizza place with Milo in so long–“

“Well, Milo decided he wanted to spend all of his time with Sophie, so–” I began to say, annoyed at Milo’s name being brought up.

“Wait, he’s dating Sophie? Like, Sophie Lee?” Ronnie stopped in the middle of the hallway. “I knew they were, like, tied to the hip in band class, but I didn’t know they were together like that.”

“Who knows,” I rolled my eyes, starting to walk down the hall again. “My point is that Milo and I don’t hang out that much because he decided he wanted to be wrapped around Sophie’s finger 24/7.” Ronnie stopped in the middle of the hallway again, now with a confused look on her face.

“But, you’re always with Aaron,” Ronnie began to explain. “So you can’t be mad at him for doing what you’re also doing.”

“Milo is doing it out of spite,” I argued, now annoyed. “Aaron and I are actually dating, hanging out, working on things outside of dumbass Waverly.”

“I’m just saying Mollie, Milo isn’t just another guy that you became friends with; he’s your best friend,” Ronnie said to me. “Like, Davy is even noticing it with Milo, and it seems like you both are in the wrong.”

“That’s not my problem; neither is it yours,” I dismissed. The late bell rang, alerting us to go to our final class of the day. “I gotta go, Mr. Kamalani’s class isn’t the one to be late to.”

“Think about what I said, Mol,” I har Ronnie shout out as I walked away. I was tired of people immediately justifying Milo’s actions. If he’s just as much in the wrong, then why isn’t no one starting their conversations saying that he’s in the wrong?

…

I finally got to Jennifer’s dance studio after school, looking through the glass to see if there was anyone already in there. Jennifer is in the studio dismissing a class of younger dancers as I watched. Life was much more simple when I was just a young dancer. I tapped on the glass to let Jennifer know I was here. She looked at the front door where I was standing and walked over to it, opening it for me.

“Wow, you’re actually early for once,” Jennifer said before closing the door behind me.

“There’s nothing else for me to do when your every move is being tracked somehow,” I said, putting my stuff down on the floor.

“Ahhh, the memories of being grounded are flooding back,” Jennifer teased, walking back to the studio floor.

“It’s not funny, Pep,” I said, following my sister. “Like when was it ever wrong to stand up to a bully for someone in this world?”

“When you continuously keep going back and forth with that bully even after the teacher told you to stop,” Jennifer added, looking at me. “You should always let the teacher handle it.”

“Did you ever let a teacher just handle it?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest. I’ve heard of the stories of Jennifer as a teenager from my second older sister, Maryette; she wasn’t a saint when she was my age.

“You’re not me,” she answered, giving me the side-eye. “Plus, I never publicly fought with my best friend over a boy–“

“Puh-lease,” I interrupted, tying my pointe shoes on the ground. “I don’t believe that for one second.”

“But my best friend and I were able to talk things out and realize that our friendship meant more than what we were fighting for.” Jennifer added, turning around now to face me.

“Remember; I’m not you,” I emphasized, getting up from the ground. “Milo was the one who keeps starting it, or did he tell you something different?” I hated talking to Jennifer about Milo at times. It sometimes felt like she got the story from him first since she’s married to his dad, already getting a perspective of the situation that wasn’t entirely true.

“I haven’t spoke to Milo about this,” Jennifer answered, crossing her arms. “I wanted to talk to you about this.” Wait, really?

“Why me?” I said, not wanting to show her my true feelings.

“Because this is more than just some petty fight between two best friends,” Jennifer mentioned. “You guys are in high school, and feelings are much more intense at this age.” She started to walk closer to me, finally sitting down next to me. “Mol, about Aaron–“

“What about him?” I asked, getting defensive.

“I know he showed up at dad’s house the other day,” she admitted to me. “He wasn’t really discreet about leaving the fire escape when I came to pick you up for Mom.”

“He was just visiting me–“

“That boy more than just likes you, Mol,” Jennifer finally spat out, which made me feel uncomfortable. “I know he’s your boyfriend, whether or not you want to admit it or not.” I didn’t say much back; I didn’t know what I could say in this moment with Jennifer. “You wouldn’t jeopardize your friendship with Milo for a boy you just casually had a crush on.”

“What are you trying to say, Pep?” I finally asked, trying to get off this topic as quickly as possible.

“I’m saying that you’re growing up, Mol,” Jennifer began to say, more stern than before. “Your feelings for boys are going to get so intense, you’re not going to know what to do with them. The same thing with boys that like you back. I don’t want you to make decisions solely off of the things that you are feeling. You have to think rationally.”

“I was thinking rationally when I was sticking up for the guy I really like,” I finally admitted. “Milo was in the wrong for saying what he said–“

“This isn’t about you and Milo at this point,” Jennifer dismissed, now becoming more aggressive and annoyed. “I’m talking about you, Mollie. I’m talking about the fact that when you and Aaron are alone and by yourselves with all of your pent up feelings for each other, what are you going to do when things get serious?” I looked at Jennifer, dreading where this conversation is going. I didn’t want to ever have this conversation with my family, let alone my oldest sister. I would rather hear about this in health class this semester.

“I-I don’t know,” I said, actually not knowing what to do if I were to ever be in that situation. “I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“That’s somewhat of a relief,” Jennifer commented. “But it’s going to happen, and you’re going to want to do it and when that day comes, it’s really going to divide you and your friends.”

“How?” I asked, growing more annoyed and uncomfortable. “Why would something that I chose to do with someone I really like divide me from my friends–“

“Because if going through puppy love is having you get suspended, imagine when you finally are having sex,” Jennifer spat out. Hearing her say the S-word really made me cringe and feel icky. Aaron isn’t with me just to… do that with… right? “You have to work things out with Milo.”

“Why?” I said, getting up from the ground again to put my bag on the bench. “Why should I even say sorry or be the bigger person if he refuses to be one himself?”

“Because despite what you guys may feel about each other, you are all the other person has as support,” Jennifer answered. “I learned that the hard way, and I learned it way too late after I first had sex with someone I thought I was in love with.”

“I’m not you, remember?” I said in a sarcastic tone. Jennifer sighed, walking past me and toward the stereo at the corner of the room.

“You have a number to rehearse for,” Jennifer said nonchalantly. “Let’s go.” I walked to the middle of the studio space and looked at myself through the mirror. I then looked at Jennifer who was still standing in the back. She now looks at me through the mirror and I can tell she was frustrated. I didn’t want to let her know how I was feeling in this moment and all of the thoughts running through my head about this conversation. I’m just here to dance.

My father was the person that introduced me to the violin.

My father played music on the side whenever he wasn’t on a busines trip of some sorts. Back in the UK, I used to stare at him play the violin through the screen door leading out to our backyard. The sound of the wind gliding through the trees and the high-pitched chords he used to play always fascinated me as a child. One day, my father noticed me sitting by the door watching him. He smiled as he opened the screen door and picked me up from the ground.

“You’ve been watching papa play this entire time?” he asked me, smile on his face. I nodded my head, pointing at the violin on the patio table. He placed me on his lap as he grabbed the violin, allowing me to touch it. I touched the strings of the violin gently, amazed on how thin they felt on my tiny fingers. “Let me teach you a note.”

…

I sat in my bedroom with my violin on my bed. The case is buckled close. I was frozen in place, just staring at the violin case. The rain was coming down pretty hard today, which was expected for weather in the Spring. I sighed loudly before getting up from the bed, walking toward the window to close it shut. It was now completely silent in my room; not even the sound of rain was present.

It rained the night I heard the front door loudly being knocked on. I got out from my bed, scared for my life. We had only been in America for three months and I was afraid that something had happened, like deportation or something along those lines. I quietly walked out of my bedroom door, slowly walking toward the end of the hall to look downstairs. I don’t see much of what was happening, but there were at least a dozen officers near the front door. Of course, all I could see is my father being handcuffed. All I could hear is my mum asking a million questions to the man in the suit.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door, which makes me turn around. My mum walked in, poking her head in between the doorframe.

“Soojin,” she said softly. I don’t say anything back. She sighed before she walks into my room completely. “Do you want some ramyeon for lunch?”

“I’m not hungry,” I said, not looking at her.

“You haven’t eaten more than kimbap in the last day,” she recalled. “You have to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry!” I turned around and yelled at my mom. Her eyes widen, obviously shocked about me talking back to her.

“Ya, watch your tone when speaking to me,” my mum said stern, letting this one time slide. “I know you’re upset about your father–“

“No,” I corrected. “I’m upset at my father…”

“You shouldn’t be too hard on him,” she insisted.

“Why not? He made these choices! He has to live with them!”

“Soojin, it’s not that simple,” my mum tried to explain. “Everyone has to fight their inner battles–“

“Going to jail for five years wasn’t a choice?” I argued back. “Committing a crime wasn’t a choice that he made?”

“You do not know the entire story,” my mum responded, now getting upset with me. I didn’t care anymore about how she felt or what she wanted me to feel regarding my father. I was getting older, which meant I was able to understand things and have my own opinion on situations, especially the ones your parents tried to influence you towards. “You mean the world to him, Soojin–“

“He left me, mum!” I yelled again. “He wasn’t thinking about me when he decided to do the things he did! He wasn’t considering how this would affect me growing up, or how he wouldn’t be there for my graduations! Showcases! Birthdays! Nothing!” I was on the verge of crying now. “I should not feel bad for a person who actively made those decisions, and then made the decision to make us feel sorry for him by trying to end his life in jail!”

That’s enough!” my mum yelled back at me. “He needs us the most right now, and if he were to find out that you said all of these things or haven’t forgiven him for what he’s done, he would feel absolutely terrible.”

“I don’t care,” I spat out, aggressive as each word left my mouth. “I don’t forgive him, and this stunt he pulled off doesn’t change anything.” I turned back around to face my window; the rain hitting against the glass even harder now. I wanted to come off as this strong girl, holding people accountable for their actions when they should be. But he’s my father. He was my entire world. He was my inspiration, my muse.

My mum didn’t say anything after that. All I heard was the bedroom door slammed shut. This is the start of it all: permanent daddy issues.

…

It was weird to go back to school after being away for a week. Life continued without me being at Waverly; other classmates roam the halls with their friends and chatting among each other, going to their next classes in between the bell time. I felt frozen in time; my mind and body were still stuck in time from two weeks ago, especially after walking past the main office. My next class of the day was the class I was dreading the most; band. I had no desire to play the violin today as it did nothing but remind me of my father, back in the UK, playing out in the backyard.

I entered the class and went straight to my seat. I took out my binder with my sheet music in it, placing it on the music stand in front of me. I turned my head around to look at the back of the room, and to my surprise Milo wasn’t there. Maybe he’s sick? Maybe he’s absent today or something? I turned forward and bent forward to take my violin out of its case.

“Hey,” I hear someone talk in my direction. I looked up to see it was Aaron Serrano.

“Hi,” I said, not saying much to Aaron. There was nothing to talk about with him, but I also didn’t want to be rude to him.

“I just want to say I’m sorry for making you think your section sucks,” he said. I looked up at him, questioning why he was even talking to me in the first place.

“Is that all?” I asked, wanting this conversation to be over.

“Yeah, just wanted to say sorry,” he said, walking away from me. I turned around, needing to know what was his motive.

“Why the change of heart?” I asked, really only wanting to know that.

“No reason,” he said, shrugging his shoulder. “Just thought you needed the pick-me-up.”

“I don’t need anything from you,” I spat back, rolling my eyes. All he does his chuckle to himself, as if I was funny or cute.

“Gosh, you’re definitely loyal to Kamalani,” Aaron commented before going back to his seat. I rolled my eyes, facing forward again. I didn’t have the energy to fight anyone’s battles today, yet alone Milo’s.

Where the hell is he anyway?

I was doing nothing but staring at the four walls of my bedroom as I spun in my desk chair, waiting for the time to quickly pass by. The weekends fly by when I’m able to actually do things; now that I’m grounded, it seems like time is just slowly going by. It feels like it’s been Saturday afternoon for 5 months now.

I hear someone knock on my bedroom door which makes me stop spinning in my chair. I look at the door and notice my dad standing there.

“Hey, bud,” he simply said. I turned my chair away from him, annoyed to even see him come into my room after what happened yesterday. I hear him sigh. “Milo, we need to talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk,” I snapped back. “I’m tired of talking.”

“That’s because you refuse to listen the first time we had this talk,” my dad emphasized. “Milo, how many times are you going to get into it with someone your freshman year of high school? And of all people, with Mollie? She’s supposed–“

“No, she’s not,” I quickly turned around to face my dad, knowing exactly what he was going to say next. “A best friend will not call you out in front of the entire class like she did. She didn’t have to chime in and say anything–“

“After you called out another student in the class?” my dad noted, crossing his arms. “You are not a victim in this situation, Milo.”

“I’m not trying to be the victim!” I shouted at my dad. “I swear sometimes I feel like you come in here to just push me down further into the ground!”

“Because you are better than this, Milo,” my dad raised his voice, which echoed the entire bedroom. “You know better to not do anything you don’t want happening to you back. You know better than to use my class as a way to seem like this big, tough guy with Aaron Serrano. I told you this weeks before you started school that I will not treat you any different than another student in my class because I shouldn’t have to look out for you. You are simply better than the behavior than what you are distributing out these days.”

“Clearly, you’re never going to be on my side so what’s the point in even trying to reason with you?” I turned my chair around once again away from my dad; this time, he turns it around to face him again.

“I will always be on your side; you are my son,” he said in a softer tone. “But being on your side also means holding you accountable for your wrongdoings.” My dad sits at the edge of my bed to look at me. He sighs before he continues to say anything else. “We need to talk about you and Aaron Serrano.”

“Ew, why?” I quickly snapped. It was like a reflex to say it.

“He’s been the reason since you’ve gotten in trouble this entire school year,” my dad mentioned. “What’s going on between you two?”

“He’s a bully,” I said, ending it there. “He thinks he knows me so well and what I do and he has never anything nice to say to my face.”

“And what does this have to do with your screaming match with Mollie yesterday?” he asked me. I didn’t want to say anything to my dad knowing that it would possibly go back to Jennifer. Wait… why do you care if it goes back to Jennifer? Mollie has not looked out for you once since she’s stated dating this asshole. “Milo?” my dad said.

“Mollie is dating Aaron,” I admitted, not looking at my dad. I felt like I was betraying Mollie, but it was too late now. “That’s why she said what she said in vocal class.”

“That much I can figure out,” he said. I looked up at him, wondering what he meant by that.

“You knew?” I asked my dad. He nodded his head, as if this was common knowledge of some sort.

“It was obvious that the two were dating, but it’s none of my business to say anything about it.” What I’m more concerned about is why them dating is affecting you in any way?”

“Because Mollie is supposed to be my best friend!” I was now getting annoyed with my dad. “Seriously, dad; didn’t your best friend date someone that you absolutely hated because you knew he or she was a piece of shit?”

“Yes,” my dad calmly answered. “Jennifer dated this guy in high school that had no business in being with her. Of course she didn’t listen to me and still went to date him. He ended up using her to take her virginity and then went to tell the whole school what they did.” I looked at my dad, wondering if maybe he knew that this story did not make me feel any better. “I wasn’t happy, but I had to let her do what she wanted to do. And in this case, you have to let Mollie do what she wants to do.”

“But he’s clearly making her go against me–“

“You are showing her that you’re going against her by treating her the way you are because of him,” my dad defined. “What Mollie does with her life should not affect you in any way, regardless about how you feel about her boyfriend.” It’s not that simple, dad.

“Whatever,” I dismissed, not wanting to talk about this anymore. “Is that why you came in my room for?”

“No,” he answered. “I came in here to tell you that this is your final warning of the school year,” he continued to say. “The next time you get into trouble with anybody at Waverly, I’m personally revoking your dual major status.”

“What?” I said, not expecting this would happen and definitely not coming from my own dad.

“I said it once, and I’m not saying it again,” my dad said in a stern manner. “I cannot continue to justify your actions any longer if you continue to act out in this way. Most dual majors get one strike and then they are out permanently. I had to fight Principal Hughes to keep your status after the confrontation with Aaron the second time. Next time, I will be in favor of his decision to terminate your status.” My dad gets up from the bed to start walking out of my room. I still couldn’t believe what was being said. I couldn’t believe that my dad was not on my side when it came to my dual major status. How did you fight me so hard to fucking even apply as a dual major yet is willing to take away from me?

“What happened to being on my side, dad?!” I shouted, not being able to hold in my anger and frustration anymore. “Was that all just bullshit? Why do you continue to make my life a living-fucking-hell hole?! Does it make you feel any better? Huh?”

“Watch who you are talking to, Milo,” my dad said in his usual, stern voice. “Be careful with the words you are using–“

“It’s always me that gets the backlash on everything!” I continued to shout, knowing there as no going back now. “Micah legit does everything in his power to make things harder than they need to be! Jennifer is always at his school picking him up and binging him home because he did something disruptive and yet as soon as he gets here, it’s like nothing happens. The girls can literally do something bad over and over again after being told to stop doing it and no one fucking bats an eyelash! But let me stand up for myself, let me not take shit from any guy or girl from school and al of a sudden my status is being threatened! So what is it, dad?!”

“Milo–“

“Like do you hate that mom is gone and are punishing me for leaving me behind with you? Am I fucking up the little family that you have with Jennifer by being your bastard child?!”

“That’s enough!” my dad yelled. My dad’s voice made it feel like the entire apartment shake for a moment. I hear my baby twin sisters cry from the other room. I can hear Jennifer calling our my dad’s name. I could hear Micah call out for my mom in a panic. The answer was yes, Milo; you are the outsider in this situation, just how you are in school.

Jennifer paces to the front of my bedroom door where my dad still stands, looking at me. She looks at him and then looks at me. She’s confused in what was going on. My dad doesn’t say anything; he turns around and walks out of my bedroom, past the door and past Jennifer.

“Milo?” Jennifer asked.

“Just leave me alone,” I said, turning my chair around, way from the doorway, and away from the rest of my family.

If there was one thing I was good at, it was constantly getting myself in trouble at school to the point that I seemed to always be grounded. For my mom, the best punishment was sending me off to my dad’s house for the weekend not because he was the stricter parent by any means, but there was absolutely nothing I can do at his house for entertainment. I always kept to myself whenever I was at my dad’s house, so I guess my mom knew where to send me for my punishment.

I heard a light knock on my bedroom door before it slowly opened. My dad enters my bedroom to check on me.

“Hey, Mollie; you’re feeling okay?” he asked, bringing in a plate of food. I don’t answer him, I just watch him out the plate on the small desk located next to my bed. “Gina made dinner if you’re hungry.”

“I’m not hungry,” I said, picking the nail polish off of my fingernails. “I don’t like pork chops anyway.” My dad put the plate on the desk before sitting at the edge of my bed, letting out a sigh.

“Mollie, I’m not here to make your time a bad one,” he started to say. “Your mom just thought it was best if you stayed here for the weekend, cool off from everything that’s been happening at school.”

“I’m fine,” I said, annoyed to still be having this conversation with my dad. He sighed loudly, which is what he did when he ran out of ideas to try to make me feel better.

“You know you can always come out of your room if you don’t want to stay in here,” my dad said before getting up. “You’re grounded, but not a prisoner.”

“Aren’t those the same things?” I said under my breath. He doesn’t hear it, thankfully. He closes he door behind him and I flop back onto the bed, annoyed that I have nothing to do and cant do anything about it. I guess the only reasonable thing to pass the time is my homework, I guess. I stared to take out my books from my bookbag until I heard something hit against my window. I quickly turned around, seeing someone outside on the fire escape. I quickly noticed it was Aaron as soon as he began waving at me. I walked to the window and opened it. Aaron had a huge smile on his face.

“Aaron?” I asked as if he wasn’t actually sitting on the steps out here. “What are you doing here?”

“You know, I’m starting to believe you’re more of the Rockstar than me,” Aaron began to say. “True Rockstars are badasses.”

“Being grounded does not make a Rockstar,” I debated. “It makes me a person that got caught doing bad things.”

“About that,” Aaron pointed out. “Thank you for sticking up for me in vocal when Kamalani was trying to call me out. No one has ever stood up for me like that before.”

“He was being an ass,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “He can get like that.” Aaron looked more annoyed than anything at this moment; it made me wonder if I said the wrong thing.

“Why are you even still friends with him?” He finally asked me. “I feel like he doesn’t even treat you like a friend.”

“It’s complicated,” I simply said, shifting in my spot. “Me and Milo’s friendship is complicated, to say the least.”

“That doesn’t sound convincing,” Aaron noted, sighing afterward. I didn’t want to get into it with Aaron; all I wanted to was for Aaron to just let it go and talk about something else with me. “Is he, like, an ex-boyfriend or something?”

“Ew, no,” I quickly said, swallowing the bile that came up.

“Then why is he so hung on you being with me?” Aaron asked himself more than me at this point. I was getting annoyed. It was bad enough I was already grounded because of Milo, and it was even worse that I couldn’t spend my weekend hanging out with Aaron and rehearsing with the ban. “Like we were supposed to have band practice for the show in two weeks and it just sucks that you’d let him just–“

“For fuck’s sake, Milo isn’t just some random ass guy who I befriended,” I shouted without being too loud. “Milo and I are related, Aaron. Like my sister is married to his dad type of related.” Aaron doesn’t say anything back as if he’s trying to find the right words to say. “Are you satisfied now?”

“That makes it even worse, Mols,” Aaron finally said, scrunching his eyebrows. “He treats you like shit because he knows that no matter what, you’ll be at family gatherings and all that stupid shit. Just because you’re family doesn’t mean you have to respect them when they don’t respect you back.” This time, I don’t say anything back; I just let Aaron talk. “You know he accused you for ‘stealing’ his sheet music for me when he didn’t have it in class the other day?”

“What?” I simply said being caught so off-guard. “He said that to you?”

“He did,” Aaron confirmed. “I didn’t understand how someone who calls themselves your best friend would accuse you of stealing. I don’t understand how someone can say that, and then a couple of periods later pretty much call you a bitch. That’s not cool.” I felt myself caving in. I thought maybe Milo just had a problem with Aaron, but for him to also talk shit and accuse me of stealing… all I did was borrow Milo’s music for Aaron, but he didn’t have to know that.

Aaron reached for my hand, closing his palm into mine. I looked at him, trying to keep a strong face on. I am suppose to be the true rockstar in this relationship.

“Thank you, Aaron,” I said through a tiring smile. “For even coming here to see me when I’m grounded. No one has ever done that before.”

“I’m a certified Mollie Advocate,” Aaron teased and smiled. “I’ll always be on your side.” As soon as I leaned in to kiss him, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

“Fuck, I gotta go,” I panicked, going back into my room and closing the window. I quickly closed the curtain and hopped into the bed, trying to look as miserable as possible. My dad walked into my room and I looked up, pretending I didn’t realize he was there. He stood there with a small dessert plate and fork.

“Don’t tell your mom I gave you this,” he said, putting the cheesecake down on the desk. I looked up at him as he turned around to leave my room.

“Thanks, dad,” I said. He turned around and smiled at me before shutting the door behind him. Once he did, I turned around toward my window to pull the curtain away. I was hoping Aaron was still there. He wasn’t.

It’s been a week since Sophie has been in school. I’ve tried texting her phone to ask if everything was alright, but didn’t get any answers. After the first 3 days of radio silence, I tried calling her phone. Still, no answer.

I walked towards the vocal room for my last class of the day, hoping the period will go by quickly. All of the other vocal major in my grade enter the room, including Mollie. She walks in with Aaron; no surprise. I look down at my notebook, waiting for the disgust to bypass my body. My dad walks into the classroom which quiets down the class. He puts his binder of sheet music on top of the piano before facing the class.

“Good afternoon, all,” my dad addressed the class. “As you may know, midterm season is upon us, and here at Waverly, we take this time to check in with our students by assigning them a midterm project to focus on. You will be graded based on your creativity, technique, and of course; passion.” As my dad was talking to the class, I see Aaron looking down at his phone, smiling as his fingers pressed against the screen. I looked over at Mollie, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that se was texting Aaron. I as so aggravated and wanted nothing more than express that out.

“Yo, Serrano; get off your phone, man,” I shouted towards Aaron. The class looked over at Aaron as he shot his head up. “It ain’t that serious.” The class laughed, but my dad immediately got the class back in order.

“That’s enough,” my dad shouted to the class. “Mr. Kamalani, your assistance is not needed–“

“Yeah, because he wouldn’t do that in any other class besides the one that his dad teaches,” Mollie added, which made everyone turn their heads towards her.

“Nobody asked you, Mollie,” I snapped back at her, trying to maintain my composure.

“And nobody asked you to be your dad’s guard dog; woof woof!” Mollie teased as everyone in the class began to laugh again.

“Alright, class,” my dad began to say, but at this point I didn’t care whether or not I was being disruptive.

“You would know being Aaron’s bitch, woof woof!” I responded back. This made Mollie get up from her seat. I wasn’t afraid of Mollie; I got up from my seat as well. “Yeah, learn to mind your business, Mollie!”

“Fuck you, Milo!” Mollie yelled out.

“That’s enough!” my dad screamed, which made everyone in the class go quiet. “Mr. Kamalani and Ms. Castro, grab your things and leave my class now!”

“He started it!” Mollie argued.

“And you decided to get involved!” I snapped back.

“If the two of you don’t grab your things and leave my classroom, I will make sure to have both of your majors suspended for the rest of the year; do I make myself clear?” my dad demanded. I rolled my eyes, knowing I had to get out of the classroom. I couldn’t jeopardize losing my dual major status for the rest of the year.

Before I was able to grab my stuff and get up, Mollie storms out of the class. She doesn’t look at my dad or at me when doing so. I watched her leave and then looked at Aaron; clearly pissed off.

“Mr. Kamalani,” my dad called out. “Go.” I rolled my eyes and began to get my stuff together and finally leave the classroom.

…

Mollie and I sit outside of my dad’s classroom; she sits on one end of the bench and I sit at the other. We don’t say anything to each other, and it honestly kills me. Mollie has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. Some of my first memories were us hanging out in her mom’s backyard pool during the summer with her family. My dad and Jennifer would hang out together while Mollie and I played in the pool, and Mollie would always try to show off her swimming skills when I use to sit in a floatie, terrified of going underwater. The smell of the barbeque in the air and the chlorine mixed with the sun on my skin was something I remembered vividly. I missed my best friend, and something told me that this was going to happen as soon as she began to get all boy crazy. It’s like she stopped believing in herself and only cares about what boys think about her. I sighed at the thought.

“Mol,” I gently said. She shook her head, immediately dismissing me.

“Don’t talk to me,” she quickly said, not looking in my direction.

“Mollie, I’m sorry,” I said, not listening to her. “I didn’t mean to say those things in front of the class-“

“But you did,” Mollie said, side-eyeing me. “You said it like I was your biggest fucking enemy on the planet. Like I was Laurie or something.”

“The way you’ve been acting towards me, you feel like you’re becoming Laurie,” I admitted. Maybe there was some truth behind that, but the way Mollie spat out at me during class was something that Laurie would’ve done to either one of us. Plus, she’s dating the male version of Laurie.

“That doesn’t give you the right to treat me like I’m Laurie though. I’m suppose to be more than just that.” I wanted to be sympathetic to Mollie, but it was bothering me that she was not taking any accountability for what she is doing.

“And you’re treating me like I’m your enemy too, Mol,” I pointed out. “We’ve both been treating each other like shit.”

“You’re treating me like shit because of Aaron-“

“Just how you’ve treated me like shit because of Sophie?”

“I don’t give a shit about Sophie!” Mollie raised her voice, which echoed throughout the empty hallway. “I got over that way before we got to Waverly. But you seem to keep punishing me for the way you feel about another person. That’s not fair-“

“What’s not fair is you throwing me out like I’m disposable whenever a new boy comes into your life,” I began to raise my voice, trying to make Mollie understand where I was coming from. “Seriously, Mol; first it was Theo, then it was Jake, Deangelo, Kyle; now it’s Aaron. It’s like you need these guys to find your purpose for you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, and I’m done talking to you,” Mollie said, getting up from her seat.

“You know I’m right, Mol,” I continued. “Instead of getting these guys to do it, why don’t you let your friends tell you how awesome of a person you are, huh?” Mollie doesn’t say anything back; she continues to pick up her things to walk away from the bench. “What happened to Ronnie? Huh? She was your girl best friend and now I don’t even see you hang out with her anymore-“

“Fuck off, dude!” Mollie turned around and faced me. “Seriously; instead of worrying about my life and Aaron, worry about your own! Why don’t you call your little girlfriend and see where the fucks she’s been all week?” Are you fucking serious, Mollie? “Seriously, I don’t give a fuck what you do, so stop giving a fuck about what I’m doing.” Shortly after, I see Jennifer walking up the stairs towards the main office, looking in our direction.

“Mollie?” she called out. Mollie turns away from me, walking toward her sister. Before I could get up, I hear my dad open the door from the main office.

“Milo,” he said. I got my things and walked toward the door, not before looking back at Mollie. She doesn’t turn around.