Category: The Junior Journals.

The Junior Journals.

Adventures of Rondrigo & Kamaloser: Milo’s Journal.

liz

It got harder to write good music these days. I had a lot of things I needed to release, but it felt like they just didn’t want to reveal themselves to the world. The garbage can at the corner of the rehearsal room was now a hoop for the paper I crumbled up into a ball after every bad idea was written down.

I sighed, playing different chords on the guitar trying to get something down. I don’t know how my dad did this for years with his band growing up. What was his muse?

Before I could get any deeper in thought, I hear a knock on the rehearsal door. I sighed.

“It’s taken,” I shouted, continuing to play random chords. Someone still knocked on the door, which began to bother me. I got up from my seat, walking toward the door to open it.

“It’s taken–” I said before noticing Ronnie. She looked just as surprised to see me in this room. “Sorry, Ronnie. I didn’t realize it was you.”

“It’s cool; I thought Mollie was with you today,” she said. Before she could completely turn around, I cleared my throat to speak.

“You can still hang out if you want,” I suggested, opening the rehearsal door. Ronnie looked at me before looking inside the rehearsal room.

“Sure,” Ronnie began to say. “I don’t have anywhere else to be during lunch…” I closed the rehearsal room as Ronnie placed her things down on a seat. I walked back to where I was, picking up my guitar and playing random chords.

“Mr. Harrison has you already prepping stuff for the year?” she asked, opening her bookbag on her lap.

“No, no; I’m just playing random shit,” I said, putting the guitar down to face Ronnie. “My dad suggested that I pick up a new hobby this year. He said it’s important to have extracurricular activities on my college applications.”

“More activities? Isn’t being a dual major already enough to check that bullet point off?”

“You would think,” I scoffed, closing my notebook full of scribbled lyrics. “But if I’m planning to go to Juilliard or somewhere with a good music program, they want more than just what I do in school.”

“That’s stupid.” I couldn’t help but laugh at Ronnie’s straightforward answer. Ronnie had picked up a ton of Mollie’s lingo over the years, considering how much time they’ve spent together. In some way, Ronnie had become Mollie’s best friend in the time that she and I were not. If anything, I’m glad Mollie had Ronnie to lean on during that time.

“My dad suggested creating a band,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

“A band? That’s original.”

“He had a band when he was my age; him and his friends did it so I guess he thinks it’ll work for me.”

“Who would you even include in this band? You’d need a drummer, a bassist, lead guitarist, main vocalist, a sound engineer–“

“Whoa there, Ron,” I stopped her, feeling anxious about the thought. “I’m not committing to this idea. I don’t even know what type of music to play for this theoretical band.” I looked at Ronnie’s stuff as I spoke, noticing her instrument case. Ronnie played in the brass section; saxophone to be exact. “Do you play other instruments besides the sax?”

Ronnie looked confused. “Huh?”

“I mean, I know you play the sax for band, but do you play anything else outside of school?” Ronnie folded her arms across her chest, squinting her eyes at me suspiciously.

“If this is your way of interviewing me for your band; I’m not interested.”

“Can’t a guy get to know his best friend’s girl best friend?” I teased. Ronnie rolled her eyes as she smirked, sighing before she answered.

“I do; electric guitar,” she answered. Whoa.

“Shut up; really?” I said, shocked. “My dad has been trying to teach me to play for the longest time, but with vocal and band I just don’t have the time.”

“My mom taught me when I was a kid. She was the guitarist in her friend’s band, so I grew up around music; no shock.”

“That sounds epic,” I responded, genuinely intrigued with this new information about Ronnie. “So why not try not for the contemporary band program?”

“I practically grew up with a sax in my hand,” Ronnie joked. “I knew how to play sax long before I was good at guitar.” Ronnie squinted her eyes once more, seeming suspicious of me. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you all of a sudden interested in what I play?” I could feel my face getting hot, not realizing just how forward Ronnie was. She was a different type of girl than the ones I knew; much different than Sophie. But, I couldn’t help but feel intrigued in getting to know Ronnie better, especially after basically hanging out with her and the rest of the gang over the summer.

…

“Well gang, it’s been good but I have to get going before my uncle rips me a new one,” Davy said, walking to the corner of the street. Jonah, Mollie, Ronnie, and I stood at the corner behind him.

“I should get going too,” Jonah said, turning around to face Mollie. “Plus, Aunt Lydia told me to make sure you get back home before curfew.” Mollie rolled her eyes at him.

“Dude, what did you do this time?” I jokingly said. Mollie nudged my shoulder, sucking her teeth.

“I’m pretty much grounded for the entire summer after–” Mollie began to say before Ronnie intervened.

“So, you and Jonah are going back toward Brooklyn?” Ronnie asked. I looked over at her, fidgeting with her fingers.

“I can walk with you if you want,” I suggested. Ronnie looked at me, scrunching her eyebrows.

“Why would I want that?” Ronnie fought back.

“Because it’s late and Jonah is taking Mollie home.”

“And?”

“Dude, just let him walk you home,” Mollie spat out at Ronnie. She turned around and shouted back at Mollie; typical for two girl friends with strong personalities. Before things got too heated, Jonah stepped in between the two girls.

“Relax! Mol, start walking; Ronnie, go with Milo!” The two girls rolled their eyes and listened knowing it took Jonah a lot for him to take control of situations like this.

Ronnie and I didn’t talk for most of the bus ride back home. It felt weird to only be around Ronnie, considering she was Mollie’s best friend these days. Maybe she felt weird that I’m back in the picture? Maybe she’s just being a really good friend and protecting Mollie from getting even more hurt.

I looked over at Ronnie as she looked out the bus window.

“Ron–“

“Just because you and Mollie are cool again doesn’t mean I have to be cool with you,” she bluntly said. She finally turned her head and looked at me. “Especially after everything she’s been through.”

“You’re absolutely right,” I said. Ronnie looked at me in an uneasy type of way. “Is there more to that?”

“Nope. I’m just looking out for my friend.” She turned her head around, back toward the window. I sighed, knowing I had to make this right; not for me, but for Mollie’s sake.

“We’re just both looking out for our friend–“

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Ronnie spun around and said to me. “You think just because you guys made up and the past is the past doesn’t mean that what was done and said didn’t happen. You didn’t have to hear and console Mollie at her lowest this summer. You got her when she was in a better place, a place that her friends helped her get in.”

“I’m not fighting that,” I began to explain. “I can’t imagine what Mollie went through with her ex earlier this summer, and I’m glad that she had a solid friend group for support. I’m just trying to be Mol’s friend again after all of this nonsense that got in our way–“

“She told me.” I looked at Ronnie, confused by what she meant. She looked at me, her eyes soft now. “About you and Sophie.” Of course she would tell Ronnie. “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out for you guys.”

“It’s fine,” I said, letting out a deep breath. “The past is the past.” Ronnie looked at me, but didn’t say anything after that.

…

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” I answered back. Ronnie cocks an eyebrow up, looking down at the notebook in my hand. “What?”

“It’s giving unsolicited therapist,” Ronnie joked. I couldn’t help but laugh, which made her laugh out loud as well.

“That’s a good one, Ron-drigo.”

“Did you just combined my first and last name into a pet name?”

“Oh please! Like you haven’t called me ‘Kamaloser’ before!” Ronnie threw her head back and laughed. She had a loud laugh; one that filled an empty room. It was comforting. The bell rang, which meant our lunch period was over. Both Ronnie and I gathered our stuff, about to go our separate ways for the rest of the day. Before I turned around the corner, I heard Ronnie call me by that exact nickname.

“Kamaloser!” Stupidly, I responded back to it. “If you’re still looking to learn electric guitar, I can help you out with that.” I looked at Ronnie and nodded.

“You know where to find me, Rondrigo.” I turned back around, my head in deep thought during the hallway passing. It was nice for Ronnie to offer lessons; it was much better than having my dad stop me after every chord, shouting how wrong the note would sound. Plus, Ron’s sorta cool.

Before I can look up and turn the corner, I bumped into a person coming from the other direction. I dropped my lyrics notebook on the ground; pages are spread along the ground.

“Sorry–” I hear a girl’s voice say. I immediately looked up, seeing her for the first time in a really long time. We locked eyes for a slight second before another guy’s voice breaks us out of it.

“Soph?” I turned around and see Allen call out for her. Sophie quickly turned away and walked toward Allen, not even bothering to look back at me.

LFL's Anniversary Blogging Celebration!, The Junior Journals.

Day 6: The Second-to-Last First Day of High School: Mollie’s Journal.

liz

“Mollie!” I hear my mom yell out my name from downstairs. “You’re gonna be late for your first day!”

“Coming!” I said, putting the last elastic in my thick, curly hair. I should’ve listened to my mom when she said to wash it last night, but I was too lazy to get out of bed and do it. Who the hell am I impressing in that lame ass school anyway?

I walked downstairs and see my mom and Alex sitting in the kitchen, unreasonably close to one another. It was clear as day that he was feeding my mother in a romantic way, and possibly stopped once they realized I was still in the house. Their love gives me the ick, and seeing them in love like made me feel sad that I haven’t had that experience yet. Even I felt that what Milo and Sophie had was true love, but I guess our generation is just fucked.

“You’re ready for junior year?” my mom asked, getting up from her seat to hand me my lunch for the day. I sighed, shrugging my shoulders.

“Just another day of school I wish I didn’t have,” I said, straightening the straps of my bookbag.

“Junior year is a big year,” Alex commented. “It’s the year that colleges look at the most, then you can slack off senior year.”

“Alex,” my mom scolded him. “What he means is that if you’re looking to get into Juilliard, you have to make sure both your grades and craft are good.”

“I know,” I said dismissively, texting Milo on my phone.

“And you’re going to have to decide which craft you’d like to study in college–” Ugh. The amount of times I’ve had this conversation with my mom about this.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, looking up and walking towards the front door. “Milo’s here; I’ll see you later!”

…

The last time Milo and I walked to Waverly together, it was freshman year. It feels weird that after all this time, we are back to the place where we started off; just two friends going to school, unknowingly walking into another year of this shitshow.

“I’m already thinking about the pizza I’m getting after school today,” I said, looking into my lunch bag to see my mom’s gourmet lunch. I hand it over to Milo, knowing he’ll eat it without any issue.

“I don’t know why you dislike your mom’s lunches,” Milo wondered. “I could eat your mom’s food all day.”

“Sometimes you just want a simple slice of pizza, and not a whole 5-star meal for lunch,” I said, rolling my eyes. The thing about my mom was that she always had a ton of things on her mind, on top of the fact that her daughter nearly stayed home for the entirety of the summer after her break-up. She always believed the way to cure a broken heart was food; I found my outlet at the studio, dancing when no one was around.

“Well keep pretending to eat them so that your mom keeps making them,” Milo said. I smiled at him, not realizing how much I missed mornings like this. We got closer to the school, seeing all the familiar faces that we left just 2 months ago. Almost all of them.

We walked to the schoolyard, looking to see who was actually hanging out there before the school bell rang to start the day. In the crowd of people, I notice someone I wasn’t actually looking for; I see Sophie. I didn’t have any beef with Sophie, as I truly did believe that she and Milo actually did love each other. I understand what it was like to want different things than what you settled for. I understand wanting to be your own person, outside of the person that made you feel the most “whole”. I turned around to look at Milo, and unfortunately notices Sophie too.

“Come on, Mi,” I gently said, walking in the opposite direction from where Sophie was. He follows me in the crowd of other classmates until I hear a girl’s voice call out my name. I turned around, seeing Ronnie wave her hand in the air. Milo and I walk towards her, grateful that someone was here to distract us from the bad memories of Waverly.

Ronnie hugged me tightly, which made me feel much better about the day already. Ronnie made sure to keep me company as much as possible over the summer when Aaron and I broke up. It was a nice distraction, going to the pool and the beach most of the summer and having well-needed girl talks.

“I know I just saw you the other day, but it feels so good to see you in school!” Ronnie said as she let me go from the hug. She looks at Milo and gives him a pound. “Hi, Milo.”

“Dude it’s okay,” I reassured Ronnie, knowing where her mind was at. “Milo and I are friends again.”

“Good,” Ronnie said as she pointed at Milo. “You hurt our best friend again, I hurt you; got it?”

“Got it,” Milo answered nervously. I laughed, shaking my head. It wasn’t long after that Davy and Jonah found us, greeting us once they got closer.

“Hey, peeps!” Davy said, hi-fiving the gang. “The gang is back together again!”

“Dude, you act like we all didn’t hang out over the summer,” Jonah mentioned. It was true though; the five of us would hang out over the summer all day until our curfews. I didn’t realize just how cool the guys were; Davy was this skinny white boy that acts like he grew up in one of the hoods in Brooklyn, and Jonah was my cousin from my mom’s side so he’s always been around; it just so happened that Jonah was more Milo and Davy’s friend, whereas Ronnie was mine. Now, I guess you can say we’re “a gang”.

“And have the same major class together,” I added. “So unfair that all of you are in band.”

“Yeah, but you’re the best vocalist in our grade,” Milo added. “I think that out beats all of us.” I smile at Milo,, appreciating his reassurance in this moment. He knows just how hard I’ve been on myself since the break-up. Yes, I was the vocalist in Aaron’s band, but the band’s manager felt like I didn’t fit the image he had for them. it made me wonder just how good of a vocalist I truly was if I wasn’t considered to open for an upcoming band in the industry.

Before I could say anything, the bell finally ran, which means it was time to officially start the “second-to-last” first day of school. At this point, I was a pro at first days at Waverly: go to your classes, introduce yourself and what major you are, listen to the teacher as they spoke about what the class was about, and then do it all over again until it was 8th period.

Or at least, that’s what most first days at Waverly were like.

…

The late bell rings, and in true Mollie fashion, I run down the hall to make it to my fourth period class. Whoever decided to make my third period and fourth period class across the school have a vendetta against me or something.

Before I see the teacher close the door to begin class, I made it, holding the door open so that I can enter it. I knew exactly who this teacher was, and I was sick to my stomach to have him as my U.S. History teacher.

“Ms. Castro,” Mr. Abrams said. “I should’ve expected to see you running to my class, as you’ve always chose running as your way to get to them on time.” I smiled, feeling a little embarrassed to have my teacher on the first day know me for being late to classes. “Take a seat.”

I walked into the classroom and noticed a lot of familiar faces from our grade. I immediately noticed Sophie of all people, sitting near the front of the class. I looked away noticing an empty seat in the middle. I sit down and take my notebook out; not to actually write in it, but to just look like I’m paying attention. Again, mastering the art of first days.

“Good morning, everyone; I’m Mr. Abrams, your U.S. History teacher for the year.” He started to write his name on the board and handed out the syllabus for the class. “This year we will be prepping you all for the U.S History regents, as they are crucial to determine where you’ll be placed by the time you go to college.” Blah, blah, blah. “Of course, we will formally introduce ourselves, as we will be actively working in groups for various projects this school year.” He walk towards the left side of the room, beginning to have everyone stand up and introduce themselves. I couldn’t help but notice how many of the students in this class are dance majors. I wonder if this was the only class available for them to take; maybe their major class falls in the same period as the other U.S. History class.

As one student sat down, another one stood up; this time, I was Sophie. “Uhm, Hi. My name is Sophie, and I am a band major.”

“Nice to meet you, Sophie. What are some of your favorite things to do?” Mr. Abrams asked. Sophie looked uncomfortable, as if she didn’t know how to answer his question. She doesn’t know how to answer his question.

“I’m… really passionate about music,” she says shyly. “I spend most of my time practicing my violin, preparing pieces for programs and auditions.” Mr. Abrams nodded his head and prompted Sophie to sit down.

“You sir,” he began to say. “I don’t believe I know you from the hallway. Are you new to Waverly?” I turned my head and looked at the kid Mr. Abrams was talking about. He had dirty blonde hair with a slight wave to it; parted to the side so it looked unkempt. Definitely a new kid. The guy stands up from his seat and clears his throat.

“My name is Weston, I’m a junior, and I’m, uh, a vocal major,” he started to say. “This is my first year at Waverly High.” He looked shy, nodding his head as he finished his introduction.

“Where’d you come from?” Mr. Abrams asked.

“Oh; uhm, I lived in San Francisco.” the guy answered. Mr. Abrams nodded his head.

“Nice to meet you, Weston,” Mr. Abrams said. A couple of more students introduce themselves after the new kid, and it was now finally my turn. Mr. Abrams looked at me, nearly laughing before he spoke.

“Hi, I’m Mollie. I’m a junior and in the vocal program.”

“Nice to meet you, Mollie. What’s one interesting fact you’d like for us to know about you?” Mr. Abrams asked.

“I don’t know…” I said, trying to come up with something. “I like to sing, I guess.”

“Good enough,” Mr. Abrams said, moving onto the next student.

…

“I just don’t get it,” I started to complain to Milo as we walked to the pizza parlor. “Your dad is crazy already giving us music to rehearse.”

“You’ve said this every first day of school, Mol,” Milo mentioned.

“Well, he needs to realize that no one is coming to school on the first day to learn new music,” I complained. “Anyway, you wanna know who’s in my U.S. History class?” Milo looked at me, already knowing who I was going to say.

“Yeah? Was she with her new guy friend, Allen?” Milo spat out. Allen was one of Milo’s band mates; specifically in the same section as Sophie. Milo had an issue with Sophie spending most of her free time this past summer hanging out with the other members of the Juilliard Prospective Students program. One of them, was Allen. Milo doesn’t like to admit it, but one of the reasons why they broke up was because Milo didn’t trust Sophie being with Allen.

“He wasn’t there,” I began to say, looking over at Milo. “But Sophie was in my class.”

“Good for her,” Milo shrugged, dismissing the subject. I looked over at Milo, trying to get him to talk more about it. He was usually an open book, but when it came to talking about Sophie, he was quite secretive. I wonder how much does that have to do with the fact that they both kept their relationship on the low.

We finally got to the pizza parlor and see Ronnie, Davy and Jonah were already at the booth. We slid into the booth and joined them for our usual after school pizza visit.

“Hello, dude and dudette,” Davy greeted us. “It’s about time you guys got here.”

“You don’t have the pleasure to have Mr. Kamalani as your teacher for 8th period,” I looked over at Milo, who rolls his eyes as his response. “Did you guys order yet?”

“Davy insisted we get the pie,” Jonah said. Davy shrugs his shoulders.

“Lunch was disgusting today,” Davy replied. “Pizza is the only remedy.” Jonah sighed, moving on from the subject.

“How was vocal?” Ronnie asked me. “Any cute boys in your class?” I gave Ronnie a look that only she knows the meaning behind. Ronnie has been on my case about checking out boys, especially after having a complete breakdown at her house one night over the summer. She swears that Aaron wasn’t the one, but something tells me as my girl best friend, she’s suppose to say that.

“Same boys as last year, Ron,” I deadpanned.

“How about you, Milo? Any new cute girls in our band class you’re interested in knowing?” Davy teased.

“Davy,” Ronnie intervened. “Chill out.”

“Thank you,” Milo said to Ronnie.

“Oh, but you’re asking me about cute boys?!” I said to Ronnie, crossing my arms along my chest.

“Maybe I’m asking for myself,” Ronnie teased. I know she wasn’t asking for herself.

…

Milo and I walked down my block, tired from the long day we had at school. Milo was quiet for most of the afternoon, which bothered me. I didn’t know how to talk to him about the breakup; we were both on different stages of them. I was past the initial grief, meaning I wasn’t crying as much as I did over the summer. Milo on the other hand seemed to still be caught up in thinking about Sophie, and being in the same major as her probably didn’t make things better.

“Hey, Milo?” I turned my head to him. He looked back at me.

“Yeah?”

“Is the reason you don’t want to talk about Sophie is because you don’t want me talking about Aaron?” He scrunched his eyebrows. Fuck, maybe I should’ve worded it better.

“I don’t want to talk about Sophie because there’s nothing to talk about,” he emphasized.

“She’s in your band class,” I mentioned. “And the guy that she’s been hanging out with–“

“Look, Mol; I don’t care if you want to vent about your ex-boyfriend with me. That’s what friends do for each other. But I’m telling you that I don’t want you to console me about my breakup with Sophie.”

After that day, I don’t mention Sophie ever again, in hopes that maybe one day, he’ll talk about it.

The Junior Journals., Twelve Letters of Lizmas: 2025

Day 12: The Summer We Didn’t See Coming: Milo’s Journal.

liz

Sophomore year had come to an end, and now the hardest part of our high school careers were coming: junior year.

It wasn’t just a day-by-day occurrence anymore; this was now the time that colleges will look at to determine whether or not they want you in their school. My dad had told me early on into sophomore year that I should be thinking about colleges. I laughed it off; all I wanted to do was go back to school, play in the band and sing in the choir, and hang out with Sophie after school.

“Again?” Jennifer asked as she prepped dinner in the kitchen. Reagan and Dylan were in the living room, watching some cartoon on the TV. Micah was in his room, playing what I would believe is some Charli XCX inspired techno beat on his iPad. “Didn’t you just see Sophie yesterday?”

“Today’s a brand new day,” I said, getting my bag ready. Jennifer turns around and looks at me, crossing her arms along her chest. “What?”

“Just because your dad is away at a conference for Spring Break, doesn’t mean you can go buckwild,” she commented. “I hope you have condoms in that bag.”

“Pep!” I reacted, my face now bright red.

“Your dad is oblivious; not me,” Jennifer turned back around into the kitchen and continued preparing food on the counter. “I think he chooses to be; why else would you constantly be hanging out in the pizza parlor with your girlfriend?”

“I happen to enjoy the pizza there,” I commented, grabbing a water from the fridge.

“Uh huh,” Jennifer responded. “I’m just telling you how it is, Milo. I don’t need you two running to me because you two decided to be reckless one night.” I feel my face get even hotter, remembering the time near my birthday that Sophie and I went to Jennifer for help with… lady problems. “I’m way too young to be a grandmother.”

“Pep, please,” I cover my ears as she spoke. I wanted nothing more to escape this conversation. Thankfully, Sophie called my phone at the right time. “Hey, babe… yep, I’m leaving now; I’ll be there in 10 minutes… Love you too.” I hang up my phone and get off the barstool and walk towards the front door. “I’ll text you!”

…

“Again?” I hear Jennifer whisper in the kitchen. “I’m worried about him, Milo.”

“He’s going to be fine, Pep,” I hear my dad speak. “It’s just a difficult time for him. It’s his first break-up.”

“I’m saying the same thing I had to tell Mollie earlier this summer; break-ups hurt, but the work never stops.” Mollie has had a hard summer for sure. I only know because she randomly had texted me one night during summer break. It completely took me off-guard, her message notifications were foreign on my phone. Later that night, I sat on my front stoop, waiting for her to come by. Once I had saw her walking underneath a street light I stood up. Mollie must’ve had saw me since she stopped in place for a moment. She continued walking toward my house; it wasn’t until she got close that I realized something was wrong.

“Mol?” I said, confused to see her here this late, yet alone here at all. “Is everything okay?” She didn’t say anything back; she simply started sobbing in my arms as I hugged her. This was the closest we’ve been since freshman year. “Mol.”

“Aaron and I broke up,” Mollie said through tears. I was speechless, not expecting to hear that. Aaron and Mollie were stronger than ever during sophomore year. We had drifted a part as the months passed in addition to our rocky first year at Waverly, but seeing her be so happy with Aaron made me realize just how much Mollie loved him. I understood what that looked like; in some strange way, it gave me the courage to finally make things official with Sophie.

“Why? What happened?” I pulled her away to finally talk to her, but her head hung low. All I saw were tears falling straight to the ground. I kneeled down in front of Mollie, not wanting to force her to look up at me. “Mol?”

She took a few deep breaths before she lifted her head up. I got up with her. “Aaron got some once in a lifetime deal to be an opener for the Chappell Brothers.” My eyes widen, shocked. That was definitely a once in a lifetime deal. “He leaves for tour in a week.”

“I’m… sorry, Mol,” I genuinely said. “How did he even get that?”

“His dumb, optimistic manager,” Mollie answered, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “Apparently this has been in the talks for a year. A year! A year Aaron knew this was in negotiation and didn’t even bother telling me until a week before!”

“But you’re in his band,” I pointed out. “You’ve been singing lead for two years now.” Mollie started crying again after I said that. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just–“

“I quit the band,” Mollie admitted. Another shocker in such a short time-span. “For one, my mom isn’t letting me run off with some boy and his band, and–“

“You’d be leaving dance behind,” I concluded, immediately understanding the circumstances. I sighed. “I’m sorry you’re going though this.” Mollie started to laugh as she continued wiping her tears off of her face.

“Isn’t it crazy,” she began to say. “I should’ve just listened to you when you said he cared about his band more than me.”

“No,” I immediately disagreed. “That was stupid for me to say in the first place.”

“But it was true–“

“You loved him, Mol,” I emphasized. “And anyone with a pair of eyes knew that he loved you back.” Mollie just stared at me, letting the slow falling tears fall from her eyes. “I didn’t realize that until this year; really.”

“This sucks,” Mollie said, putting her head on my shoulder.

I placed my head on top of hers, comforting her in the way that I used to; back when we were just kids. Back when we were best friends. “I know, Mol.”

…

I finally get up from my bed and open my bedroom door. I walk out passed the kitchen and see Jennifer and my dad standing there. They stop talking once they notice me standing.

“Hey, buddy,” my dad began to say.

“My room is literally around the corner,” I commented. “No need to stop talking about me now that I am here.”

“Milo,” Jennifer began to say as I walked past the two adults, getting a snack from the cabinet. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” I simply said, walking out of the kitchen with a bag of chips in my hand. “I just want to relax before school starts next week.” I plopped down on the sofa, next to my younger brother, Micah. He looks at me when I reach for the remote.

“Hey! I’m watching that!” he whined.

“I’ve been hearing this same damn episode of Bluey all day,” I told him, annoyed.

“Mommy!”

“Milo,” my dad intervened.

“What?” I looked at my dad, frustrated at everyone in this house at this point. He started walking to the back door of the kitchen; the ones that goes straight to the studio downstairs.

“Come downstairs for a minute.” I sighed, leaving the bag of chips on the sofa. It wasn’t a surprise that I heard Micah immediately grab it for himself.

I walked down the studio stairs and stopped once I saw my dad in the equipment area, grabbing a guitar from the supply closet.

“Dad, I’m not in the mood to learn anything new with the electric guitar,” I pleaded, sitting on the piano bench, watching my dad tune the guitar. “Dad? Dad?!” He couldn’t hear me over the practice riffs he played on the guitar. Can’t lie, it sounded pretty sick.

He looked back up, taking the guitar off from his body and placing it on the stand next to him. He grabs a folding chair, opening it in front of me and sits down. “I know you’re having a hard time with your break-up with Sophie.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it,” I said nonchalantly. “It is what it is.”

“I know you love her, bud.” I begin bouncing my leg in place, unwillingly at this point. I didn’t want to get into this; not with my dad. “I know how it feels to have your very first heartbreak like that.”

“Jennifer broke up with you at one point?” I genuinely asked.

My dad shook his head no. “It was when your mom passed away.” Yeah, he won that debate.

“Dad,” I began to try to put together a tangible sentence about this topic. “I don’t want to have to look at her in band and think about why our relationship didn’t work out.”

“Why did you guys decide to break up in the first place?”

“Things just got complicated,” I answered vaguely. The truth of the matter was that Sophie felt like she lost her identity being with me. Throughout sophomore year, my friends became her friends when we got together. If I was around, it was most likely that Sophie was there too. It got to the point where she began to feel like my shadow.

It also didn’t help that major wise, we both probably did the worst in those classes. We weren’t really a good influence when we were together. We used to cut our 8th period class just so that we could hang out in the treehouse, or in the studio space before my parents got home. A lot of that time spent during that time was… well, you know.

“Not to sound insensitive, but you guys are 16. What could’ve possibly been more complicated than the classes you’re taking in school?”

“She spent a lot of time with me, dad.” Sophie spent majority of her time with me over the past year, and although I won’t tell him this, she had expressed she felt most like herself while she was doing her Juilliard future students program. I wouldn’t ever tell Sophie this, but her excessive time in the program was starting to rub me off the way. I started to feel like she would rather send time with other prospective students in the program instead of her own boyfriend. “We both felt like we were just… too dependent on each other, I guess.

“Sounds like you don’t agree,” my dad pointed out.

“I do,” I quickly said, dismissing his comment. “But I’m fine, dad. I think it’s best that we both focus on things for college, especially if we’re going to go to the schools we want to go.”

“That’s a very mature outlook on things,” my dad commented, and continued to play the guitar. I knew my dad played the guitar, but to him it’s been years since he did it every day. He mentioned that he used to be in a band with Jennifer and a couple of their friends back in high-school. What surprised me is that he actually looked cool playing it. “Have you ever thought about doing something outside of school this year?” Huh?

“With my schedule?” I joked, now walking towards him and the guitar. He looks up at me, noticing me looking at the guitar.

“Maybe you should put some of your focus this year on a new project,” he mentioned. “Like start your own band or something.”

“That’s basic,” I dismissed, rolling my eyes.

“It’s something on your resume for schools that are looking for leaders in their craft,” my dad mentioned. “At least, that’s what I heard for Berklee.” Boston Conservatory at Berklee was my top college. I went to a couple of campus tours and open houses last year whenever I had the chance, and that chance being whenever Jennifer had a dance competition with her academy in Massachusetts. I pictured myself walking around the campus, taking music classes and living away from home for four years. It was something I was excited about doing once I graduate Waverly next year.

But, I’ve yet to do junior year, in which something tells me this isn’t going to be the easiest year.

“I don’t know,” I finally answered. “I don’t think I’m ready to be going out there and recruit people for a band in junior year. Everyone already is a part of some band or group, especially after Aaron and his band–“

“Yeah.” My dad said. He knows exactly what happened. “Maybe you should try talking to Mollie.”

“And have her join yet another band? She’d punch me right in the face if I did.” It was true though. I couldn’t imagine Mollie wanting to join anything this year that involves music.

“But this could be something that you both put together,” my dad suggested. “Mollie joined someone else’s band. With her a part of the founding process, she has something that is evenly yours and hers.” My dad then begins to rip some sort of crazy chord on the guitar that echoes the entire studio room. It isn’t long after that Jennifer is yelling from on top of the stairs, saying that the house is shaking. My dad laughs and puts the guitar back on its stand. The guitar is shiny and orange; sort of vintage looking. I wonder if this was dad’s when he was in his own band.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, bud?” he answered, placing the guitar back in the storage closet.

“Why didn’t your band work out if they were all your friends?” I asked. My dad turned around and looked at me before answering the question.

“Personally, my priorities had to change,” he began to answer. “You were born and I has to take care of you first.” Ahh, so much for having a cool dad in a world famous band.