My mind has about 30 different tabs open, and I don’t know what to focus on. I’m sitting in a room in the West Wing, bouncing my leg anxiously as I wait for Aaron’s band teacher call us up to the stage. I didn’t realize just how theatrical these showcases are compared to the regular concerts everyone else does. From my understanding, dual major showcases have recruiters in the audience. Apparently, if they are interested in a certain student, they can sponsor them for the school they wish to go to when they graduate. Depending how early on they sponsor you, the better chances you had on making an impact in the industry you desire to work in.
I only know all of this because of Aaron. His rehearsals have been pretty intense as today got closer. He wasn’t the Aaron that would reassure me if I missed a note or forgot a lyric in the song. He was now the “get it right the first time I tell you” Aaron that rubbed me off the wrong way. It was confusing, once we were alone and out of practice, he was the Aaron I knew. The Aaron I loved.
The door opens and I immediately stand up, thinking it was Aaron or Mr. Harrison to tell us we were up. I tilted my head when I realized it was not either one of them; it was Milo.
“What are you doing here–” I began to question, but Milo had other plans for this interaction.
“You told your stupid boyfriend?” Milo immediately asked. I scrunched my brows together, feeling even more confused than before.
“What?”
“Don’t play stupid, Mollie,” Milo spat out. “That shit isn’t gonna work this time.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re even talking about,” I finally said, getting annoyed now.
“I thought the least we could do is still respect each other,” Milo said. “And now I have your boyfriend threaten to call Sophie out of her name because you decided to tell him her business.”
“Wait, you think I told Aaron about you and Sophie?” I genuinely asked.
“He knows, Mollie,” Milo emphasized. “He literally just told me the exact same thing that I told you to keep to yourself.”
“I didn’t tell him–” I tried to explain to Milo. I tried to explain to Milo that I meant that I said I wouldn’t tell anyone about what they did. Who the hell told Aaron? “You sure Sophie isn’t opening her mouth and telling people?”
“Sophie’s not like that,” Milo answered, angry that I would’ve even say something like that about her.
“Oh, but you think it’s like me to tell someone a secret that I told you I wouldn’t tell?” I rationalized. Not only was I feeling attacked in this conversation, but now I felt like I was being antagonized for something that I didn’t do.
“I don’t know who you are anymore, Mollie! I don’t know if you told him out of anger, or out of spite, or if you and Aaron are so miserable that you guys get off talking about other people and their lives!” I looked at Milo as he spoke, trying so hard to not let him get the best of me. I’m trying so hard to not cry in this moment; not because I was overwhelmed with everything that’s happening, but because Milo believed I was this horrible human being. Nothing I could say would change his mind.
“Believe what you want to believe, Milo. I don’t care,” I said, defeated.
“So you’re not going to admit telling him? You’re gonna stand here and pretty much tell me that you broke a promise, and now Sophie is probably going to stop talking to me because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut?”
Before I could respond, Mr. Harrison opens the door to the room. He looks at Milo before looking at me.
“Aaron is on stage already, the set begins in 10 minutes,” Mr. Harrison says to me. “Milo, didn’t I tell you to stay with your team?” Milo didn’t say anything else. He simply walked past Mr. Harrison and out toward the hallway. I’m still trying to fight back tears.
I find my way towards the stage, seeing Aaron and his band prepping the instruments before the set starts. I simply walk to the microphone stand and adjust the height of it, not saying a word.
“Alright Mols,” Aaron walks over to say as he gets his guitar strap on. “We’re going to change the setlist due to the limited time we have; I think it would be best to perform ‘So Long, Goodnight” instead.” I don’t say anything back, and for once… Aaron doesn’t notice. He shouts to the rest of the band, letting us know of the change.
“This is our moment, guys,” Aaron shouts to us. “We have the potential to get recruited tonight; something that we’ve been working hard for so long. He have the most potential out of all of these performers tonight, so let’s show them what they want to see, alright?!”
“Got it, bro!” Both the guys responded back. Aaron looks at me and walks up to me like a military agent of some sort.
“Alright?!” Aaron yells out at me. I look up to him, seeing fragments of the person Milo said he was. He’s just using you so that his band can go far. He’s more in love with his band than his actual girlfriend. “You hear me, Castro?!”
Castro? Maybe it was true. One single tear ran down my right eye as I looked at Aaron, unable to see the boy I fell in love with anymore.
“Shit,” Aaron said as he checked his phone, getting up from the couch in the studio. He zips up his hoodie and begins to gather his stuff. Another time that Aaron and I got close to finally having or first time, ruined due another meeting of some sorts. “Dean is calling me.”
“Of course he is,” I said, getting up as I put my blouse back on. Aaron doesn’t say anything back; he walks away and answers the call. I looked around this studio space that I’ve become so custom to being in; if we weren’t in here rehearsing for some show, it was Aaron and I hanging out, in hopes that maybe this would finally be the time it happens.
Aaron walks back over to me, ending the call as he gets closer. He looks down at me to reach for his bag that I was supposedly sitting next to. “I have to meet Dean at his office to talk about some business stuff–“
“Again?” I asked, annoyed that this has become the new norm for Aaron and I. I simply don’t remember the last time we even went somewhere without it being band related. “How much business stuff can you guys talk about?”
“There’s more to the band than you see, Mols,” Aaron commented as he put his jacket on. “You get to do the fun part of it.” He smiled at me. I couldn’t help but sigh, knowing what that smile does to me.
“You promise that we’ll hang out afterwards? Just me and you?” I stood up in front of him, straightening the collar of his jacket. “Without talking about the band?”
“Of course,” Aaron smiled as he kissed my forehead. “Once I handle this business and get everything in order, we’re going to have the best time ever. We’re so close to getting what we want, Mols. We’re in this together.” His reassurance made me smile.
“Text me when you’re around,” I said. Aaron nods his head before his cellphone rang again. He turns around and walks out, answering the call. He never did text me that day.
“Yeah,” I said with tears in my eyes. Aaron’s eyes softened when I said. We both turned our head once we hear Mr. Harrison speak on the other side of the stage.
“Next on our program, we have Aaron Serrano from our freshman class. Outside of Waverly, he is the lead guitarist of his very own band, Quiet Division. Accompanying him tonight is freshman vocalist, Mollie Sue Castro.” The curtain opens and I see the audience.
The curtain opens and I see the audience. Standing on the stage in my dance outfit, I take a deep breath.
I stand on the stage with Aaron and his band, letting out a deep breath.
I smile as I spot Aaron in the audience, watching me dance at my recital. The first person I ever allowed to come to one of my shows. He smiles back, and I begin to dance.
I let the remainder of the tears fall down my cheeks before I hear Aaron play the chords of the song.
Letters From Liz. 