“Alright, let’s take 5,” Aaron turns around to notify the band. The guys begin to take their instruments off their straps and walk towards the exit of the room. I placed the microphone back on its stand, until I felt Aaron wrap his arms around my waist.
“I’ve wanted to hug you all rehearsal,” Aaron said as he nuzzled his face into my neck. I smiled, turning around to face him.
“I don’t think singing a song about heartbreak would make you want to do that,” I teased as Aaron rolled his eyes. “But considering the performance is coming along pretty well, I could understand why you’re so happy.”
“I’m excited for this piece,” Aaron began to say, taking his guitar off of his shoulder. “It’s something that the band hasn’t ever done before.” I watch Aaron get excited every time he talks about the band. You can tell how much it means to him in the way he takes the rehearsals and performances seriously. This band is his literal baby; something he’s so proud to be in.
“Where do you see the band going after high school?” I asked curiously. I didn’t realize just how heavy the question was until Aaron reacted weirdly. It was like I said something wrong. “What?”
“The band isn’t a high school project,” Aaron corrected. It bothered me how defensive he got over me asking him about the band. I understood how much the band meant to him, but for him to act that way with me of all people; it seemed like the band meant more to him than me.
“I didn’t say it was,” I spat back, crossing my arms along my chest. “I just asked what were your plans with the band once you graduate high school.”
“I’m still going to be with the band,” Aaron laughed it off, coming off as a little condescending. “Everything we’re doing now is for the hopes that one day we make it big.”
“But what if you don’t?” I asked without thinking before doing so. Aaron scrunches his eyebrows, clearly annoyed. “I’m just trying to be realistic—”
“And what if you don’t make it in the dance industry?” Aaron asked back, clearly not for an answer but to antagonize me. It was like he doesn’t know that’s the absolute worst thing to say to someone that has been dancing for as long as they can walk.
“I will make it into the industry,” I spat back, standing ground on my answer. Aaron’s face softens up, which confuses me for a moment. Did he just try to prove a point?
“I know you will,” he finally said, sitting down on the bench next to me. “And I would never question what you were going to do with it once you graduate. I know by that time, you’ll probably be dancing for Beyoncé at her next world tour.” I smiled at Aaron, knowing that was most likely never going to happen. I couldn’t help but ask the next thought roaming in my mind.
“Do you see me being in your band when you do?” I asked. Aaron looked at me as if he didn’t quite get where I was coming from. He just looked at me and smiled.
“When I do what?” Aaron asked. His question back was more of an answer for me. I smiled back, shaking the thought away.
“Nothing,” I said. Thankfully, the guys were coming back from break; Aaron got up from the bench and walked back toward his spot where his guitar was. I couldn’t help but sit in my thoughts, feeling stupid for thinking that this band was something I was a part of. Something that brought us together.
“Ready, Mols?” Aaron turned around and looked at me. I quickly threw a smile on my face and walked up to the microphone, in hopes that I’d forget this stupid, roaming thought.
…
I was packing my stuff up for the day, dreading to go back home and see my whole family there. I knew today was Reagan and Dylan’s birthday party, which meant Jennifer was there with Milo’s Dad, and of course; Milo. Milo and I haven’t spoken in such a long time. It sometimes feel like the last 15 years of knowing him didn’t happen; it was like all I could remember was life these last couple of months. Of course, it’s hard to do no contact with a person that is literally a part of your family.
“Hey, Mols,” Aaron walked up behind me and kissed me on the cheek. It was the first time not feeling the butterflies in my stomach. “You’re doing anything?”
“Home,” I simply said, looking back at Aaron. “It’s my niece’s birthdays today and told my mom I’d be there when they cut the cake. Lies.
“Oh, okay,” Aaron responded back. “The guys and I have a meeting uptown with Dean; I’ll let you know how it goes.” Aaron turns his head as the guys call out his name. He grabbed his stuff and gave me yet another half-assed kiss on the cheek. “Text me when you get in!” He ran off and closed the door behind him. For yet another second time in our relationship, I felt like the other person; this time, I felt like I was competing with his band rather than another girl.
As I got closer to my house, crossing the park down the block, I began to feel this uncomfortable, upsetting knot in my stomach. I really didn’t want to sit in a room with a bunch of people, pretending like I was still best friends with Milo. His presence, without Aaron around, always bothered me.
What I really didn’t want to see ever in my life is Milo and Sophie hanging out together, outside of school, smiling and being happy. Today, crossing the park back to the house, it was just that. I don’t know why I couldn’t just leave the park and leave these two idiots alone. I don’t know why I feel the need to hide behind the kids jungle gym, and creep on them while they hung out. Was it curiosity? Did I want to see what was it about Sophie that Milo liked so much? What kind Sophie see in Milo that made her like him so much? Are they dating? Have they had their first kiss yet? Have they took things to the next level whenever they were alone and—
—and then I saw it happen. Milo leaned into Sophie, kissing her on the lips, and Sophie just kissing him back.
It made me furious to see Milo kissing Sophie. It made me mad thinking that he accused me of letting a boy like Aaron get in between of our friendship, all while he was letting a girl like Sophie do the same. Why the fuck was he even out here with her when his baby sisters are having their birthday party today? How does Sophie even know where this park was if Milo never showed it to her? This was the park that Milo and I grew up in. This park was where we would go before we were able to cross the streets and go further than a block away. This park was before the pizza shop, which Milo had already tainted with Sophie. He was purposely bringing her to all the places that we hung out in. At least all of the places I go with Aaron are places that he never even thought about going. I quickly got out of the park; at least I had my room to hide in to get away from the family— or at least I thought I did.
By the time I walked into the house, there were babies and toddlers taking over the living room area. Jennifer was sitting on the ground with the girls when she saw me walk in.
“Mol,” Jennifer said as she got up the ground, holding Dylan. I smiled as Dylan timidly looked at me. She was the shy one between the twins.
“Happy birthday, Dyllie!” I smiled as I said, giving my niece a kiss on her cheek. “Where’s Reagan?”
“Probably causing havoc in the backyard with the other kids and her dad,” Jennifer teased as she answered. “Did you telepathically know we were going o have cake in a few? I didn’t expect you to be back so early.”
“The rehearsal was a short one,” I said, sitting down on the ground next to Jennifer with Dylan on her lap. “And Aaron had a couple of things to do afterwards so; here I am.” Jennifer’s facial expression changed, now seeming concerned. “What?”
“Nothing, it’s just that you’re always with Aaron,” she said, bouncing Dylan on her knee. “He could be taking a shit and you’re sitting outside of the door, waiting for him.”
‘That’s not true,” I defended. Jennifer looked confused.
“It was a joke, Mol,” she clarified, looking at me. “But you two are always together, so I am shocked that you just didn’t go with it to do what he needed to do. It’s not like mom would’ve known—”
“Oh, so I can be in trouble and grounded for just wandering off?” I asked, now getting annoyed with Jennifer.
“Mol, you wander off all the time,” Jennifer jokingly said laughing afterwards.
“What you should be worried about is Milo wandering off to go make out with his, quote unquote ‘not girlfriend’ at the park,” I spat out, getting up from the ground. Jennifer quickly got up from the ground, still holding Dylan in her arms.
“What?” Jennifer asked. “Milo?”
“Yes; Milo, as in your 15-year-old step son,” I repeated, crossing my arms. “I saw him smooching it up with Sophie at the park down the block while I was walking home.” Before anything else could be said, a man’s voice calls out for Jennifer.
“Babe,” Mr. Kamalani came in, looking for Jennifer. His face immediately changes once Jennifer turns around to face him. “What’s wrong?”
“You told Milo he could go out, right?” Jennifer asked. Mr. Kamalani looked confused, especially once he saw me standing there.
“Yes,” he began to answer. “You were there when he left–“
“Then explain why is he at the park right now, making out with Sophie?” she asked. Mr. Kamalani’s eyes widen.
“What? He said–“
“I thought he told you he was going to the park to work on his project,” Jennifer interrupted, which made Mr. Kamalani flustered.
“He did,” he finally was able to say out loud. “His dual major project includes the strings section from his band class–“
“I don’t give a shit if it was with the cheerleaders of the football team, Milo! All I care about is that he is using this project as an excuse to spend more time with Sophie, and that is what I don’t like about this scenario,” Jennifer explained. “Don’t act like you never used the “I have practice” excuse just to hang out with Gwen.” I scrunched my eyebrows together, confused by what Jennifer was talking about. Who the hell is Gwen? Mr. Kamalani looked at Jennifer before looking at me.
“Did you see Milo in the park kissing Sophie?” he asked me, which made Jennifer turn around in her place. There was no turning back now, considering I told Jennifer the truth.
“I did,” I admitted. Mr. Kamalani shut his eyes closed before letting out a huge sigh. He went and grabbed his sweater from the coat rack near the door.
“I’ll handle it,” he said as he walked passed Jennifer and I. The door slammed shut behind him, which made me jump in place. I quickly turned around, furious at Jennifer.
“Why would you tell him?! Now it looks like I’m a snitch or something!” I began to argue. “My God, Pep; this is why I don’t tell you anything anymore! I can’t ever just tell you things for the sake of being my sister–“
“Mollie, I wasn’t born yesterday,” Jennifer implied. “You didn’t tell me for the sake of me being your sister. You wanted Milo to get in trouble.” Jennifer walked away and gathered the rest of the kids in the living room, and began to walk towards the backyard. I felt like the world was about to explode.
Letters From Liz. 