On the night that I saw Hudson on the TV for the first time, my boyfriend was high off of his mind. Just hours before, he had accused me of fucking one of his dealers; he insisted that the video the guy showed him was with a girl that had hair that looked like mine. The video went viral after that girl “overdosed”, even though the autopsy revealed that she was strangled to death. That night, I was cared for my life. I had this feeling that if I stayed in this place any longer, I’d be the next girl found in some ditch and wrote off as some junkie.
I had no information about his daughter that was missing, but it was the only way I felt like I could get out. Since then, I felt like I owed my life to Hudson, despite constantly letting him down, and playing with fire with a much more dangerous man: a billionaire’s son.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around, realizing I was in the hospital. The beeping of the heart monitor continuously went steady until it began to speed up. Immediately after that, I see someone come into the room; the closer the person got, the more I realized who it was.
“Rosie,” Hudson said, pulling a chair up toward my bed. “Hey, kid.” I grunted as a response, still trying to get my vision straightened out.
“What time is it,” I asked as I looked out the window and saw the sunlight. The last thing I remember was that it was dark outside.
“It’s about 1 in the afternoon,” Hudson answered, looking out the window as well. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a bus ran me over, and if that’s the case; I’m totally suing,” I said, adjusting myself on the bed. Hudson shook his head, probably regretting taking me under his wing all those years ago.
“Glad to see that you have a sense of humor,” he mentioned, not seeming to be in a jokey mood.
“You have to be in situations like this,” I spat back. “Or else you’re just sitting in a hospital bed, rotting away.”
“Rosie, you were found unconscious at some party you were throwing in a place that I recently found out was your apartment,” Hudson mentioned as he looked at me. “I thought you lived on campus.” Fuck.
“I, uhm,” I began to say, but I honestly had nothing prepared to explain the situation. Hudson wasn’t suppose to know this, and for this to have happen at my place made the situation a lot worse.”
“I had to find this out on top of everything else that night,” Hudson emphasized before sighing. I looked at Hudson, feeling guilty. He’s been the closest thing to a parental figure in my life, and I feel like I’ve done nothing but disappoint him, and possibly regretting the decision to look after me. He probably wishes that it was his daughter he was caring for; not some ex-teen runaway from Philly. I snapped back to reality once Hudson adjusted in his seat, taking out a notepad. “I need you to tell me what you remember from that night.”
“Are you joking right now?” I said, getting angry. “Are you really about to interrogate me in a hospital room like this is an episode of Law & Order?” Hudson scrunched his eyebrows, closing the notepad and sticking the pen in the spiral binding.
“Whoever did this to you is looking at an aggravated assault charge,” he revealed. “To further explain how serious this is, it would’ve been an aggravated manslaughter charge if you never woke up from a coma.” I looked at Hudson, speechless and scared. Did Hudson really tell me there was a possibility I could’ve been… dead? There was a possibility that night could’ve been the last one being on this earth, and my last moments on it would’ve been with… I can’t even say his name. It finally dawned on me as I thought about that night, and I quickly turned my head back in Hudson’s direction.
“Where’s Micah?” I asked.
“Micah?” Hudson repeated. “Is that the person that did this to you?”
“No, no; Micah is my friend,” I said, beginning to panic. “Did anyone tell him? Does he know?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hudson said, seeming confused.
“He’s my friend that I threw the party with for our class project,” I began to explain. “Is he okay?” The heart monitor began beeping faster and faster, which made Hudson nervous. He called out for a nurse, in which two of them came in to check my vitals.
…
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said to Prescott, standing outside of the party.
“Do you really think I’m stupid or something?” Prescott said, getting angrier as the minutes went by. “You go on and open about how you want to be with me, but the I find out you’re with another guy out here, and then get caught by the paparazzi?’
“Oh, so now you care about where I am and who I’m hanging out with?” I said, rolling my eyes. “Now you want to act like a boyfriend and be all overprotective of me?”
“When I’m taking you out to important events and introducing you as my date; yeah, I have to. You’re making me look bad in the press.” Prescott emphasized, throwing the magazine at me. “Get your shit together and stop hanging out with a bunch of losers before I cut you off; got it?” He began walking away from me, which pissed me off. He was always trying to say the last word and I was tired of it.
“I’m sick and tired of you treating me like I’m some sort of rag doll, Prescott,” I said as I followed him. “One day you want me, and the other day you could care less about what I’m doing or where I am.”
“You’re failing to realize that this is a service; not a relationship,” Prescott spat back as he turned around. “This is simply a transaction.” Hearing his come out of Prescott’s mouth hurt my feelings, despite already knowing the context of our relationship. One day I’m stoic and able to just see it as a way to get money for every day living, on other days, he treats me like he actually wants to be with me.
I couldn’t help but compare the way he treats me from the way Micah does. Maybe this is why I suddenly feel this way. Maybe I’m finally seeing Prescott for the person he truly is, rather than the way that I want to see him.
“If that’s the case, then I’m allowed to be ‘transactional’ with other guys,” I spat at Prescott. “You’re not special.”
“You’re not either,” Prescott snapped back, growing angrier as we spoke. “All my other girls know to not make me look like a fool in public.” I began hitting Prescott, upset he would admit something like that to me. I had a feeling that there were other girls; he was a rich boy that had unlimited access to the things he wanted. But he always treated me like I was the only one. He treated me like one day, he would finally ask me to be his girlfriend. He treated me like he saw more in me than some… slut.
Prescott began to defend himself until he pushed me so hard that my back landed on a bunch of garage bins. Before he got any closer to me, I spat in his face. That pissed him off more than anything and that’s when it happened. That’s when the pain began to spout in different parts of my body. I couldn’t see much after that, and for a moment, I don’t hear anything.
I remember seeing Micah on the sidewalk. There was a girl screaming for help, and another guy’s voice in a panic. I heard the guy’s voice come closer to me, faintly calling my name.
“Rosie?”
“Rosie?” I heard Hudson call my name as I opened my eyes. My skin was sweaty and the beeping of the heart monitor started to steady itself out. I looked around and saw nurses surrounded me, taking my vitals and reading the different screens near my bed. I could feel letting out a sigh of relief once I groaned in pain. “Hey, kid; you’re going to be fine.”
“I need to see Micah,” I kept repeating, crying as the nurses tried to calm me down.
…
It was quiet by the time it was nighttime. The only sign of life was the beeping of the monitor; the sound that I’ve grown custom to ignore for my own sanity. The sky was the clearest it’s been for a long time, considering we’re in the middle of Spring and the rain has taken over New York. Hudson had left for the night, and of course left another police officer in front of my room like I was the president’s daughter or some shit.
Hudson broke to news to me earlier that I would be taking a leave of absence from school, which I didn’t fight. In the long run, I think I needed the time to get myself together, and I could always go back to school when I was ready to. He also told me that I couldn’t keep my apartment anymore. I didn’t fight that either; maybe it was better that Prescott didn’t know where I was after what happened that night. I also didn’t want to live in a space where I was constantly reminded that I was so close to death in. In the same breath, I will miss the good times being in that space. I’m going to miss Micah mixing on his mixer, playing music and dancing around carelessly around the apartment. I’m going to miss Micah always commenting how much it was a killer climbing all of the steps to get to the top of my building. I’m going to miss being in a space where Micah and I were on good terms, understanding at we are here to just live life as simple as possible, despite how complicated our lives were.
I couldn’t help but hear Dani’s voice replaying in my head, screaming at the top of her lungs for Micah. I couldn’t stop visualizing Micah’s body on the ground just yards away from mine. I couldn’t help but lay in the bed and cry, not knowing what happened to Micah.
Micah was the only person to ever showed me that he genuinely cared. He never seemed to things for the sake of getting something out of it. He never did things as if they were transactional. Micah wasn’t perfect and he had his own issues that he dealt with, but he never would put them on me or seem absent-minded whenever we hung out. He was always attentive and present; something I don’t think anyone in this day and age can be.
The door slightly opened, which made me turn my head toward that direction. I squinted, trying to see whose silhouette it was.
“Hudson?” I said, surprised he’s back at such a late hour of the night.
“Hey kid,” Hudson opened the door and closed it behind him. I turned on the light next to me, dimming it slightly so that it wouldn’t hurt my eyes.
“Whatcha doing here?” I asked, sitting up now. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he reassured before he sighed. “I just wanted to let you know that the doctor said you’ll be able to come home some time this week.” He’s talking about going back to Philly.
“Are you going to make me stay there for good?” I asked, feeling defeated. “Please don’t make me stay in Philly, Hudson.”
“As much as I want you to be close in case of emergency, I can’t stop you from doing what you’re going to do, but until you are completely ready to change your life around and stick to it, you will stay with me.”
“Wasn’t being in college ‘me changing my life around’?” I argued, getting annoyed.
“Let me remind you where we’re at, Rosie,’ Hudson said, rolling his eyes. “I know there’s a lot you’re not telling me about your life here in New York, and that’s fine. What’s not fine is getting a call from a random New York number in the middle of the night, telling me that you’re in some hospital fighting for your life.” Well if you put it like that…
“So now what?” I asked, being dismissive. “I get discharged, pack my shit, and just go and live in Philly until you feel like I got my life together?” Hudson sighed, not answering my question right away. I already knew what the answer was going to be anyway.
“I spoke to your friend today,” Hudson said, looking at me. “The one you were worried about; Micah.” I felt the knot in my throat drop straight to my stomach. Micah?
Letters From Liz. 