Ten years ago when I turned 21, I thought I needed to change myself. Sure, I was 20 the year before that which kickstarted a new decade of my life, but 21 symbolized a person now being a legalized adult. I spent my 21st birthday at a sushi restaurant in Bedford-Stuyvesant, wearing heels that were too tall for me to comfortably walk in and it had snowed earlier that morning. Nice choices, Liz. Needless to say, it was the first time I sat down in a restaurant and was able to order myself a drink from the bar. I felt so official, you guys. I had this thought that I would be spending my 21st year living it up to the fullest and doing all of the fun shit that we saw adults doing when we were younger.
Until that became the last time I had a drink at a bar that year.
My biggest battle at 21 was that I felt pressured to become an adult. I felt like at 21, I needed to start doing things that in all honesty did not feel ready for at that age. The older I got, the more afraid I was growing up. It was normal to be 21 and not have your adult life figured out. It’s also normal to be 31 and not have the adult life you thought you should’ve had.
In the past year, I’ve definitely expressed this ongoing battle of my problems being more adult-focused, or things I wouldn’t have worried about being in my 20s. The cognitive transition alone going into your 30s completely changes, and when you’re now faced with problems that you’re experiencing for the first time, you’re left really feeling like changes in your life need to be made.
For me, I am learning to not take anything too seriously, and never personal. I am learning that when people are angry and projecting that to others, it is not because of you. I am learning that if someone else isn’t having the greatest day, it should not reflect on how I carry out my day. I am learning that to keep a healthy relationship going with your loved ones, it is crucial that you set boundaries that are important to you and your mental health.
Getting older means you begin to see things you never did before. You understand things about life that only comes with age. And I think the biggest thing about this change is that you’re expected to still live your life and take on the responsibilities you have. You still need to pay the bills. You around have to work your 9 to 5 job. You still need to have your life in order while going through some of the most unpredictable times of your life.
For me, in want to learn hope to not lose myself in the process of growing up.
Letters From Liz. 