I entered the code to enter the building, as I always do whenever I have band practice. Typically, I come to practice with Aaron; it’s only when I have other shit to do before that I come here by myself. Today was one of those days.
I opened the hatch to the rehearsal space and walked in; Aaron and the guys were tuning their instruments and chatting before starting the practice. Aaron smiled as I walked in; he left his guitar next to his stuff and walked over to me. Of course, in true boy fashion, the guys teased him for showing any type of affection toward me and in true Aaron fashion; he didn’t care how affectionate he was.
“Hey, babe,” Aaron smiled as he greeted me. He gently kissed me on the forehead before walking me to the center of the room. He only kissed me on the forehead like that when he knew I was having a rough day, week, month; life. The night that I walked out of Milo’s place, I turned off my phone so that Milo wouldn’t try calling me or texting me. I was done having any contact with him and at this point fighting with him made me mentally ill. “You’re feeling alright?”
“Yeah,” I said as I sighed. “I’m just a little tired; I had to learn the new routine for my sister’s showcase.”
“We could’ve rescheduled,” Aaron insisted, stopping me in my tracks. “I don’t want you to overwork yourself.” It was sweet to have Aaron consider just how much pressure I put on myself when it comes to my extracurricular activities. I never really had anyone in my life tell me to slow down; I feel like no one in my life even knows what that looks like. I smiled at him, thankful for the concern.
“Too late,” I smiled as I joked. “I’m fine. Doing these things help distract me from all of the other shit going on in my life.” Aaron doesn’t protest this time; he walks me over to the microphone stand before walking back to his space.
“Alright,” Xavier, our drummer, began to say. “We have a week before we perform these songs at the Bueno Flamingo and there are some places that Dean said needed to be tweaked.” I nodded my head as I listened.
“Dean mentioned that ‘Stop that Feeling’ needed to be revamped some more. I don’t know how much we can redo since–“
“We got it,” Aaron interrupted the band’s bassist, Jordan. “With our sound, we could make it a little more hard rock and powerful with Mol’s vocals.” The guys all looked over at me as if they were waiting for me to confirm.
“You need me to sing higher notes?” I asked, a little nervous that’s where the conversation was heading. Aaron walked over to me before he answered. That means yes, Mollie.
“We were thinking about adding runs to the end of the chorus,” Aaron mentioned. I cocked up an eyebrow, annoyed that these executive decisions about my role in the band were not being made with me.
“Runs?” I repeated. “So, you want me to not only hit that high note at the bridge, but now you want me to do a run at the chorus as well?” It wasn’t that I couldn’t hit these notes; that’s the easy part. It was the fact that the band always thought that I’d do whatever they say for these songs.
“Babe,” Aaron whispered as he pulled me to the side. “I know I should’ve mentioned this before, but we need to impress these producers at this show and—“
“No, no; it’s fine,” I said to Aaron, sighing as I did. “I just wish you guys would tell me beforehand and not in the middle of rehearsal.”
“We normally wouldn’t make a change like this so last minute,” Aaron began to explain. “Dean literally just told us a couple of hours ago about this change.”
“It’s cool, Aaron,” I emphasized once more. I turned around and adjusted the microphone to my height. Nothing else was said; we all went to our positions and began the rehearsal. The song was pretty; it was a modern take on a 1980’s feeling song. Sure, it was ancient, but vintage. With the modern rock twist, I think the two genres really mesh well together.
As I sang, I watched Aaron through the mirrored wall in the studio. He was looking back at me, but he wasn’t smiling like he normally would. Did I hurt his feelings telling him I felt annoyed about the secret decision with the chorus run? Was he upset I had said something in front of the band? I know Aaron had a lot of things going on in his life; I can only imagine how difficult it is to juggle two majors and a band on the side. He also has to juggle having me as a girlfriend–
“Mols,” Aaron called out and stopped the song. I turned around to look at him, unsure why he stopped in the first place. “You’re missing that note.”
“What note?” I asked, confused. “The note is B flat; not sharp.”
“The note sounds too technical,” Aaron argued. “The song is about feeling free of a toxic relationship in your life. That note needs to have some life behind it.”
“The note will lose the cacophony,” I explained, annoyed to be called out like this. “It needs to be technical for it to sound right.”
“I should know how the note should sound like,” he spat back, scoffing to the other guys. The person Aaron turns into when it’s band practice is always stern, but supportive. Today I’m not sure what his problem is, and I didn’t like that he was acting like a typical teenage boy around the guys.
“I’m the one passing vocal class though,” I mumbled to myself but loud enough for the others to hear. Aaron’s eyebrows scrunched on his face; he clearly did not like the reaction the other guys had when I said that.
“Dude,” Xavier said to Aaron as he tried to contain his laughter.
“Ignore her; she’s just being a typical bratty diva vocalist,” Aaron dismissed as he tuned the strings on his guitar. I immediately ran out of the rehearsal room, feeling embarrassed. Before I was able to get the elevator down, I hear Aaron call out my name.
“Mollie!” Aaron shouted down the hallway with his bags packed for the day. I turned around in his direction feeling the knot in my stomach tighten the closer he got to me. He finally got to where I was standing and didn’t take his eyes off of me. The way he was calm was a bit scary. He handed me my bookbag. I looked down at it before taking it from Aaron. His eyes are still on me, and I can’t help but look back at him. Fuck.
“You left your bag,” Aaron simply said. I yanked it from his hand and didn’t say anything else. Aaron sighed as his face soften. “Mollie, I’m sorry for calling you out your name.”
“Aaron, I–” I began to say, but I know he didn’t want to hear anything that I had to say.
“I didn’t have to retaliate and stoop to your level,” Aaron said nonchalantly.
“I didn’t mean to say–“
“But you did, Mollie,” Aaron interrupted once again. “And you said it just because I was giving you a correction on a note from a song that I wrote.”
“A correction that isn’t necessary though,” I fought back. Aaron rolled his eyes and loudly sighed.
“Just so we’re on the same page Mollie; just because I’m not always sure about the music in vocal class, it doesn’t mean I don’t know the music for my band.” Aaron emphasized. At that point, I felt shitty and just wanted to go home and leave. The elevator doors finally open and I turned around to walk into them. Aaron hates me, and he’s gonna break up with me and–
As soon as I turned around to let the doors close, Aaron walks inside the elevator and grabs my face with his palms. It immediately takes me off-guard and tense.
“Relax,” Aaron calmy said. “I don’t hate you. I’m not going to break up with you. I’m was upset that you would use our grades in vocal against me when you felt defensive. I shouldn’t had said anything else to make matters worse.” I looked at Aaron as he spoke. Band practice was getting intense for all of us; mainly because our big show is coming up and this could be big for the band’s exposure. I know how much this means to Aaron; it’s sometimes all he talks about when we’ve spoke about everything under the sun. This means so much for him, and for him to want me to be a part of this dream with him is… something nobody has ever truly done with me.
“I’m sorry,” I said in Aaron’s hands, nearly starting to cry. I wasn’t used to someone forgiving me so quickly like this. I wasn’t used to someone literally taking my shit and having them reassure me that everything was alright between us. It’s like he knows I have such a hard time holding back my tongue whenever I get defensive. “I really didn’t mean it; I was just frustrated already when the note change and–“
“It’s okay,” Aaron stopped me before I spiraled back down. “And I’m sorry that I put you on blast today with the change. I sometimes forget that even the best vocalists need a heads up in note changes.” I rolled my eyes, glad that Aaron still was able to tease me a bit. He gently kissed me on the forehead as the elevator went down. I looked up at him before getting off on the main floor.
“Aaron?” I said as the elevator stopped on our floor. He turned around, now facing me. I wanted to ask him so many questions that I couldn’t understand. Why did this feel too good to be true? Why isn’t he mad at me? Why couldn’t I stay mad at him?
“What’s up?” he answered back. I smiled at him as I walked out of the elevator. Don’t try to fix something that isn’t broken, Mol.
“Nothing,” I smiled as I said, walking out of the space with him.
Letters From Liz. 