It was just a typical Wednesday morning during the first week of classes. Our office was busier than usual considering the Fall semester had just started a couple of days prior. I had got into this rhythm of getting to the office earlier than everyone else after getting used to working full-time hours. It was a normal Wednesday morning until my boss came in and walked into her office, signed onto her computer, and called my name as soon as she sat down at her desk. I walked into her office and told me that all of the paperwork needed for my full-time position was approved and that I was now officially resigning my College Assistant line as of today.
Hi, my name is Liz, and August 29th, 2023 was the day that ultimately changed my life for the better.
Professionally, I was excited that I accomplished one of my goals before turning 30 just a couple of months later: be hired full-time. It was about time that I did what I needed to do in order to get a full-time position. The only thing that was holding me back was the fact that I really enjoyed the office I was working in, and the college legit was like a second home to me. It was hard to get full-time at a place that wasn’t openly offering it, so when I got the opportunity to have a line created for me in the office, of course I wanted to take it. After 8 months of constant updates and paperwork needing to be filled out, I was finally getting the full-time position I wanted. My first day as an aHEO (Assistant to Higher Education Officer) was literally spent writing my resignation letter as a College Assistant. A year later, and I am now permanently hired as an aHEO. I don’t just have a job anymore; I now have a career.
Being hired full-time in an environment that supported me and fought for me to stay in their office made me feel like I was an important piece of the puzzle in this unit. When I first started my job as a CA, it took me a couple of months to even feel secure enough to do simple tasks without asking dumb questions. Even when I was offered this full-time position at the time, I was nervous to finally carry a role that came with a responsibility that I felt like I wasn’t deserving of. Even now I deal with some level of impostor syndrome because of the higher title, but it has gotten better with experience and with time.
Something changed in me when I got hired full-time though. It was like I gained this level of confidence that I didn’t have before, as well as gain some certainty and security regarding my future. That following night after work, I went out and celebrated with my partner on possibly the most beautiful night of the entire summer. Looking back at that day now, everything else in my life began to come into place, and since then… well, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I don’t know where I would’ve been right now if I had not taken the opportunity when it came. I would’ve probably been some COA at some other college, going through all of the steps again just to find my sense in belong. Who knows; I might’ve still been in the same office working part-time, thinking about whether or not I should leave to go find full-time work elsewhere. I think a apart of me believes that once I got this position, I felt like I was able to plan other parts of my life out in a way. This position is secured for life; no matter what I will always have my job unless I decided to leave out of the company altogether. Because I felt secured professionally, I began to view other parts of my life in the same lens. Once I knew that I needed to feel that same level of security with myself as a person, everything else would fall into place.
Of course, not everything is black and white and not everything that I deal with falls in that umbrella of security. There’s always going to be things out of my control. I’m learning that I only have control in the things I know I have control over, like my thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and even the way I problem solve. I’ve wrote a blog post a couple of months ago that I needed to set boundaries with myself in the same sense I would to people that were toxic for my well-being; that still reigns true as I get older and discover that there are beliefs and actions I have to unlearn as a adult in society. Not everything is going to look like how it did for us in the way it did when our parents were growing up, and not everything is going to be concrete and solvable when you want them to be.
In a sense, I’ve learned a lot about how time works. I’ve learned that while yes, you shouldn’t wait for things to come to you if you really want them, I’ve learned that they will come to you as time passes without you even knowing. A lot of the things I’ve wanted to happen have happen not only because I’ve remain persistent in obtaining them, but I also allowed time to help me grow as a person and to mature in ways in order to handle the things I wanted out of life.
I’ve waited nearly a year to be permanently hired in this position, and God knows where it will take me this time next year. This time last year, I had no idea how to be a person in my position and felt completely unworthy of it when there were other people in the office that worked there even when I was a student myself. I had no idea where this position would take me or how it would differ to what I was doing as a CA, but I’ve allowed time to help me grow into it, and feel that sense of belonging that… well… I guess I always am looking for in life.
I don’t know where the rest of my career is heading, but I am excited to see what the future has in store for me. Now that I am hired permanently in my position, I now have some things that I can start focusing on, like potentially returning to school to get my doctorate degree.
Happy anniversary to the day that change my life for the better; here’s to many more.
Letters From Liz. 