“Hey Mollie,” I heard Ronnie call out my name during hallway passing. I stopped and turned back, waiting for her to catch up to me. “Dude, where have you been?”
“Grounded,” I rolled my eyes as I continued to walk. “I was at my dad’s house for the weekend.”
“Oof,” Ronnie reacted. “Your mom sure knows how to ground you, huh?”
“It’s stupid,” I began to complain. “Like I didn’t know standing up to a bully was now deemed as punishable these days.”
“You know our parents will never understand our generation,” Ronnie concluded, opening her locker door. “They still think telling a teacher is the right thing to do when really, if someone sees you snitching to a teacher, your social life in school is completely destroyed.” I listened to Ronnie as she spoke and took her books out of her locker, slamming the door shut when she was done.
“Yeah, like I can’t even hang out with Aaron after school because my sister has made it her mission to also punish me,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Why is your sister punishing you?” Ronnie asked, walking down the hall with me.
“It’s a long story,” I dismissed, not wanting to go down the rabbit hole of my family tree. “But I haven’t been to dance practice in awhile because I’ve been hanging out with Aaron after school.” I looked at Ronnie as she cocked an eyebrow up. “What?”
“I mean, you have been hanging out with Aaron a lot these days,” Ronnie mentioned. “I feel like I haven’t seen you at the pizza place with Milo in so long–“
“Well, Milo decided he wanted to spend all of his time with Sophie, so–” I began to say, annoyed at Milo’s name being brought up.
“Wait, he’s dating Sophie? Like, Sophie Lee?” Ronnie stopped in the middle of the hallway. “I knew they were, like, tied to the hip in band class, but I didn’t know they were together like that.”
“Who knows,” I rolled my eyes, starting to walk down the hall again. “My point is that Milo and I don’t hang out that much because he decided he wanted to be wrapped around Sophie’s finger 24/7.” Ronnie stopped in the middle of the hallway again, now with a confused look on her face.
“But, you’re always with Aaron,” Ronnie began to explain. “So you can’t be mad at him for doing what you’re also doing.”
“Milo is doing it out of spite,” I argued, now annoyed. “Aaron and I are actually dating, hanging out, working on things outside of dumbass Waverly.”
“I’m just saying Mollie, Milo isn’t just another guy that you became friends with; he’s your best friend,” Ronnie said to me. “Like, Davy is even noticing it with Milo, and it seems like you both are in the wrong.”
“That’s not my problem; neither is it yours,” I dismissed. The late bell rang, alerting us to go to our final class of the day. “I gotta go, Mr. Kamalani’s class isn’t the one to be late to.”
“Think about what I said, Mol,” I har Ronnie shout out as I walked away. I was tired of people immediately justifying Milo’s actions. If he’s just as much in the wrong, then why isn’t no one starting their conversations saying that he’s in the wrong?
…
I finally got to Jennifer’s dance studio after school, looking through the glass to see if there was anyone already in there. Jennifer is in the studio dismissing a class of younger dancers as I watched. Life was much more simple when I was just a young dancer. I tapped on the glass to let Jennifer know I was here. She looked at the front door where I was standing and walked over to it, opening it for me.
“Wow, you’re actually early for once,” Jennifer said before closing the door behind me.
“There’s nothing else for me to do when your every move is being tracked somehow,” I said, putting my stuff down on the floor.
“Ahhh, the memories of being grounded are flooding back,” Jennifer teased, walking back to the studio floor.
“It’s not funny, Pep,” I said, following my sister. “Like when was it ever wrong to stand up to a bully for someone in this world?”
“When you continuously keep going back and forth with that bully even after the teacher told you to stop,” Jennifer added, looking at me. “You should always let the teacher handle it.”
“Did you ever let a teacher just handle it?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest. I’ve heard of the stories of Jennifer as a teenager from my second older sister, Maryette; she wasn’t a saint when she was my age.
“You’re not me,” she answered, giving me the side-eye. “Plus, I never publicly fought with my best friend over a boy–“
“Puh-lease,” I interrupted, tying my pointe shoes on the ground. “I don’t believe that for one second.”
“But my best friend and I were able to talk things out and realize that our friendship meant more than what we were fighting for.” Jennifer added, turning around now to face me.
“Remember; I’m not you,” I emphasized, getting up from the ground. “Milo was the one who keeps starting it, or did he tell you something different?” I hated talking to Jennifer about Milo at times. It sometimes felt like she got the story from him first since she’s married to his dad, already getting a perspective of the situation that wasn’t entirely true.
“I haven’t spoke to Milo about this,” Jennifer answered, crossing her arms. “I wanted to talk to you about this.” Wait, really?
“Why me?” I said, not wanting to show her my true feelings.
“Because this is more than just some petty fight between two best friends,” Jennifer mentioned. “You guys are in high school, and feelings are much more intense at this age.” She started to walk closer to me, finally sitting down next to me. “Mol, about Aaron–“
“What about him?” I asked, getting defensive.
“I know he showed up at dad’s house the other day,” she admitted to me. “He wasn’t really discreet about leaving the fire escape when I came to pick you up for Mom.”
“He was just visiting me–“
“That boy more than just likes you, Mol,” Jennifer finally spat out, which made me feel uncomfortable. “I know he’s your boyfriend, whether or not you want to admit it or not.” I didn’t say much back; I didn’t know what I could say in this moment with Jennifer. “You wouldn’t jeopardize your friendship with Milo for a boy you just casually had a crush on.”
“What are you trying to say, Pep?” I finally asked, trying to get off this topic as quickly as possible.
“I’m saying that you’re growing up, Mol,” Jennifer began to say, more stern than before. “Your feelings for boys are going to get so intense, you’re not going to know what to do with them. The same thing with boys that like you back. I don’t want you to make decisions solely off of the things that you are feeling. You have to think rationally.”
“I was thinking rationally when I was sticking up for the guy I really like,” I finally admitted. “Milo was in the wrong for saying what he said–“
“This isn’t about you and Milo at this point,” Jennifer dismissed, now becoming more aggressive and annoyed. “I’m talking about you, Mollie. I’m talking about the fact that when you and Aaron are alone and by yourselves with all of your pent up feelings for each other, what are you going to do when things get serious?” I looked at Jennifer, dreading where this conversation is going. I didn’t want to ever have this conversation with my family, let alone my oldest sister. I would rather hear about this in health class this semester.
“I-I don’t know,” I said, actually not knowing what to do if I were to ever be in that situation. “I didn’t think that far ahead.”
“That’s somewhat of a relief,” Jennifer commented. “But it’s going to happen, and you’re going to want to do it and when that day comes, it’s really going to divide you and your friends.”
“How?” I asked, growing more annoyed and uncomfortable. “Why would something that I chose to do with someone I really like divide me from my friends–“
“Because if going through puppy love is having you get suspended, imagine when you finally are having sex,” Jennifer spat out. Hearing her say the S-word really made me cringe and feel icky. Aaron isn’t with me just to… do that with… right? “You have to work things out with Milo.”
“Why?” I said, getting up from the ground again to put my bag on the bench. “Why should I even say sorry or be the bigger person if he refuses to be one himself?”
“Because despite what you guys may feel about each other, you are all the other person has as support,” Jennifer answered. “I learned that the hard way, and I learned it way too late after I first had sex with someone I thought I was in love with.”
“I’m not you, remember?” I said in a sarcastic tone. Jennifer sighed, walking past me and toward the stereo at the corner of the room.
“You have a number to rehearse for,” Jennifer said nonchalantly. “Let’s go.” I walked to the middle of the studio space and looked at myself through the mirror. I then looked at Jennifer who was still standing in the back. She now looks at me through the mirror and I can tell she was frustrated. I didn’t want to let her know how I was feeling in this moment and all of the thoughts running through my head about this conversation. I’m just here to dance.
Letters From Liz. 