You read that right, readers. This topic doesn’t need a grandiose explanation.
Hi, my name is Liz, and I am the queen of blocking people on social media.
In this day and age, social media is such a major part of our lives, which means we need to work with it in a way that best suits our needs. Because of social media, I was able to partake in a couple of communities and engage with all sorts of people with the same interests as me. Because of social media, I am able to connect with people on such a low stakes level: as someone with social anxiety, I use social media as my “social blanket” to communicate with those I would not call my IRL friends. Also, social media has shown us in recent years (the pandemic ones) that it can hold space for different types of productivity, like remote work and remote learning.
But, we are all aware of the problem social media has created. It has become its own sort of reality. You can be one person in real life, but become a completely different person online and create this false narrative of yourself to appeal to others for likes and views. People assume the lives of people just by checking their social media posts and status, not realizing that we choose what we want people to see and we choose what type of audience we want to attract. Then there’s social media content creators and influencers, but this post is about your average Joe that just scrolls social media and shit.
Because of there being such a fine line between reality and “social media world”, the internet as a whole can be as toxic and damaging as any hardcore drug or alcohol out there. It can truly be a silent way to harm your mental health if you allow it to.
For years, I’ve allowed social media to take over by life because my presence was once solely online. I did not like to go outside, I was trying to see what social anxiety looked like on me, and I was trying to find my identity as a young adult. I thought as I got older and began to heal, these social media habits of mine would go away, like checking someone’s public page that I didn’t like or had a falling out with, being nosy and seeing the type of people they associate themselves with, and yes, creating my own narrative of these people to convince myself I was doing better without them.
Of course, these are my toxic traits too: being curious and nosy about things that really had nothing to do with me. I didn’t realize this until I stumbled upon something on social media that altered the way I behaved and treated people involved in this person’s life. Life lesson #5,183: Don’t snoop around for something if you are. Or ready to be confronted with that said-something.
That’s when I started to block everyone I did not want to see floating around on mutual friend’s profiles, your “People You May Know” section, and generally wanted to pretend they don’t exist in my world.
“But Liz, you’re 30 years old; only childish people block people on social media…”
No. Selfish people block people on social media; I am a selfish person.
I am selfish with the amount of access people have for me because not everyone was once in my life is deserving to see where I’m at now. That’s not me saying I’m the shit and all of that, that’s me saying that the people who once knew me as an older version of myself and has passed judgment towards my newer versions, then why should they have access to who am I now? Why should I let these people have viewing rights of photos that have documented my growth, achievements, and life if they have no interest in getting to know me or befriend the person I am now? I always say this as a joke, but this does have some truth behind it: “you wanna see what I’ve been up to? Read my blog.”
Blocking people on social media is the easiest part. Most of us block people in the height of our anger and do it to regain some control of the spiraling situation… but many of us tend to unblock just to look up these people and see what they’ve been up to since. I was one of them! After doing so for the umpteenth time since being on social media, I really had to sit back and ask myself if I was purposely setting myself up for failure or if I really wanted to fuck up my mood for the day. What good is this doing you, Liz? You know the adrenaline rush wears off once you get on that person’s page, but then what? Do you actually feel better in the end? The answer is no.
So yes; I am a selfish person. I am selfish with myself and the way I distribute myself to other people these days. I am not easily controllable or obtainable in the way I was when I was younger. I am not afraid to cut ties with people I feel no longer make me feel good or help me grow as a friend. I am not putting other people’s immediate needs before my own. I am not stripping myself of good mental health just so that I am looked at as being a “caring and thoughtful person”. Once you unlearn the negative connotation behind being “selfish” and what it truly means to be selfish, you’ll learn how to balance being there for your loved ones, but being there for yourself in the same way.
Do yourself a favor: block that person that’s hindering you from healing. I promise, you are doing the right thing.
Letters From Liz. 