I can remember the names of every best friend I’ve had since I was four years old. I always had a best friend. It was that feeling that the person you told your deepest secrets to, the person that you saw every day and knew every little thing about, was what made having a best friend so fun. Like every best friend, there were fights, falling outs, and everything else that came with having someone in your life that meant that much to you.
When I was younger, I saw my best friends more than just that. They were sisters, they were brothers, and some became crushes at one point. Some of these best friends shaped me as as person growing up, and others taught me life lessons that I still live by to this day. Most, if not all, have taught me one important lesson that I never fully understand until I lost my best friends through disagreements, arguments, or simply just growing apart.
Hi, my name is Liz, and I am truly my own best friend.
People say this all the time when we are growing up; at the end of the day, you only have yourself to support, care, and love for once everyone else leaves. The person you spend the most time on this earth is truly yourself, and even though it’s important to have connections with other people, it’s also important to know that your own company is the one that truly matters. Spend your time on good terms with yourself, treat yourself the way that you would treat others. It wasn’t until I went through my twenties figuring this out. I sought out friends to help define who I was and thought that something was wrong with me when I said I didn’t have friends. I thought that my social anxiety disorder was the blame to why I couldn’t make friends, but ironically thought it was to blame when I couldn’t keep friends.
I love my friends when I have them, but I quickly realized that the love I have for my friends need healthy boundaries, something you aren’t taught when you first make friends early on in your life. I love my friends when I have them, but I knew that the love I have for them quickly replaces the love I should be giving myself. So yeah, friendship breakups were ugly, just how romantic ones can be.
When you start focusing on loving yourself, setting the healthy boundaries you need with yourself, and start to see yourself as another human being that is worthy of love too, that’s when you realize that your true best friend is yourself.
When you see yourself as your own best friend, you start to do things that you normally wouldn’t have done for yourself. For me, I started to take myself out more often. I went to more concerts and shows, planned more trips and attended more events without the need of someone else. For me, I do not see these solo adventures as pity; “Why are you doing that by yourself? Don’t you want to bring friends?” Those questions are normal to hear when you say that you’re doing things on your own. For me, I am going out with a friend; me. And sure, you might read this and think it’s pretty pathetic, but no matter what type of person you are, the best and healthiest friendship to have is with yourself.
Compliment yourself. Go out to dinner with yourself. Go to a concert (or two) by yourself. Stick up for yourself the way you would for other human beings you call friends. Show yourself the same love and energy you would for another person you would call your friend. Fuck it, be your own best friend, because it will be the best fucking friend you’ll ever have in life.
Letters From Liz. 