When I graduated high school at 18 years old, I didn’t think college was going to be for me. My first semester of college was a challenging one; I was thrown into a new atmosphere not feeling ready for the experience that college was. I was left thinking, “Maybe college isn’t for me” when I knew deep down that this was the route I was meant to take for the next couple of years.
When I was on the path to graduating college at 22 years old, I didn’t think grad school was going to be for me. Sure, at the time of getting my bachelor’s degree, I felt as if I had a lot more to learn about writing and wanted to better myself as a writer. I was thrown into my graduate studies without any break in between and with truly no guidance. I’ve learned so much about the type of work I want to be a part of, but getting my Master’s degree in English left some emotional and psychological scars in the process.
When I graduated with my master’s at 24 years old, I told myself that I was done being a student and that it was time to get out into the real world and finally get some work experience. At 25, I got my first part-time job at my old college’s bookstore mainly because that’s what I was qualified for not having any prior work experience. By 28, I was able to get my current job at the Registrar’s Office at the same college I got both of my degrees. Of course, everything is made up of hierarchy, which meant I came into the office working part-time, with minimal wage for the first year and a half there. After hard work and consistency, I was able to get the opportunity to develop more as a professional in higher education and get full-time at the office being an Assistant to the Higher Education Office (aHEO).
I turn 30 in a little over 4 months, and more than ever I am figuring out the things I want to achieve in that new decade of my life. My 20s were a time of establishment; figuring out who I was in this society and going through the ups and downs of what it meant to live a life that was in between the early years of young adulthood versus actually entering adulthood.
While I have so much I want to do entering my 30s, something that I subconsciously dreamt of was another graduation day. For a couple of years now, I have had dreams of finishing what I started; I was proud of my accomplishments in college and grad school, but I always wanted to excel in academia. That’s when it finally clicked:
Hi, my name is Liz, and I’m putting it out in the universe to return to school to get my doctorate degree in my 30s.
Setting this goal in mind makes me excited to enter my 30’s, to be honest. I think this is something I thought about a lot but felt like I couldn’t do it after the damage grad school left on me. But, I was 24 years old when I got my master’s degree. I fast-tracked into a program without taking any real break from being a student. I was burnt out but by the time I graduated with my master’s, and when I did leave my student life behind, I had no identity outside of that life. But, I’ve had some time to focus on myself and figure out who I am as an adult in society rather than a student in one. I now have work experience, I’ve done publications, and my resume is actually looking like a true resume! I’m in a really good place with a better understanding of my limits and boundaries. If I didn’t think I could do it, I wouldn’t even consider the thought.
Of course, I still have a ways to go before I actually start filling out applications to doctorate programs. I still need some more work experience in this field I want to pursue as a legitimate career. I want to do my research on the type of doctorate degree I want to pursue. I want to work to prepare myself to return to school, and become a student again; this time one that is a little bit more established and who matured as a person. I want to feel as ready as possible to enter a new program, which is something I didn’t allow myself to do when transitioning from my undergrad to graduate studies.
It’s my drive and passion for excellence and growth that has always put this idea in my mind that I would attend commencement wearing a fabric, doctorate cap & down. I think as time goes on and I officially enter my 30s in a couple of months, I feel this sense of commitment to go ahead and apply to some CUNY EdD programs. In the meantime, I want to continue to work on what it means to be a professional in higher education and learn the methods and techniques to provide a service to faculty, administrators, and students. I also want to completely learn the art of code-meshing in the workplace; how to balance out my professional, formal voice with the likeableness of my everyday, human voice! There’s just so much I am ready to embark on when it comes to my job and I’m excited to do the work that I enjoy so much as I prepare to study more about it in a doctorate program.
With time, I am definitely making at least this dream a reality of mine.
Letters From Liz. 