Tonight is the night of the first showcase I will ever do as a student at Waverly High. This week leading up to this day had the entire school in complete panic mode; decorations were being put up and it was announced very morning on the loudspeaker in every classroom. I didn’t realize just how serious a showcase like this was for the school; it felt like the Grammy Awards for a performing arts high school.
I stepped out of the bathroom stall and looked at myself through the mirror. The other guys were laughing and talking near the sinks in the boy’s bathroom. We’re all dressed up in fancy tuxedos; with brow ties and everything. It definitely feels like the real deal now, I mean at every recital or school concert I did when I was younger we wore a button down short and whatever pair of pants we wanted to wear. This feels like a completely different level of performing.
“Mr. Harrison wants us back in the band room, guys,” one of my classmates stated. The other guys begin to get their stuff and talk as they exit the bathroom. I take a deep breath before gathering my stuff to do the same.
I begin to walk down the hallway back to the band room when all of a sudden, I feel someone grab my shoulder.
“Hey, dude,” Davy said as we walked down the hallway together. “You’re ready for tonight’s show? You have, like, 30 songs to perform.”
“Ha ha,” I sarcastically laughed. “I’m just ready for this showcase to finally start so we can perform already.” As Davy and I continue to walk towards the band room, our band-mates keep walking ahead and passing us; one of them being Aaron Serrano. I rolled my eyes at the sight of him. We hear Mr. Harrison’s voice coming out of the band room, making sure that we all get to our final rehearsal before the showcase later tonight.
Everyone gets in their seats as Mr. Harrison closes the front door. The room is quiet; I can tell we were all nervous to do our first showcase as students here at Waverly. Who knows who’ll be sitting in that audience watching us? Who knows if we will be any good; what if we don’t live up to the expectations of the other Waverly students before us? Mr. Harrison stands in front of us before he speaks.
“Tonight is a big night for all of you,” he began to say. “This will be the first of many showcases coming your way, so even if you are nervous or feeling intense about tonight’s performance, make sure that no matter what, you have fun doing what you guys love to do.” Mr. Harrison looks at me and Aaron before pointing us out to the class. The class turns around to look at us; Sophie does as well. “We have some of our dual majors participating in the Dual Major Performance tonight, so please stay after your performance and support not only them, but your fellow Waverly classmates as well.” The class looks forward again as Mr. Harrison addresses the class again. “Lastly, good luck and be the best that you are on that stage.” The class claps after his speech and begins to gather their things in order to line up for the show. I get up from my seat quickly, wanting to talk to Sophie before we all left for the auditorium. Aaron nudges me to make room to pass me with this things, not even looking back to say anything. I wanted nothing more than to just kick him in the mouth. Davy walks towards me once more while looking at Aaron pass by me the way that he did.
“Of course Mr. High-And-Mighty probably got off at the praise Mr. Harrison gave you guys about the dual major performance,” Davy mentioned. I don’t say anything back. I see Sophie walking by with her instrument in hand with the other members of the string section. As Sophie got closer to us, I smiled and waved at her.
“Hi, Scout,” I said to Sophie. She looked up and quickly smiled at me, then looked back down as she walked by. I was a little hurt that she didn’t stop to say hi back. It was our first showcase and she knows just how much it meant for the both of us. I thought she would’ve stopped and wished me good luck or possibly calm me down after seeing just how fucking nervous I am for this showcase. I didn’t get anything but a quick smile of acknowledgement.
“Are you and Sophie good?” Davy asked.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” I said, trying to play off the exchange as if it was nothing. “Her section had to line up.”
“Oh,” Davy answered. “I thought maybe you were mad at her for talking to Aaron the other day or something.” Aaron? I quickly look at Davy feeling very confused and concerned. Why would Sophie be talking to Aaron of all people? Sophie knows that Aaron was the reason why I was temporarily suspended from my dual major status. She knows just how much work had to put into learning all of the band pieces on top of the dual major pieces that I missed during my suspension. She knows how I feel about Aaron, so why is she talking to him behind my back and not even telling me?
“Aaron?” I began to question. “Like, Aaron Serrano?” Davy looked at me like I was crazy.
“Yeah; who else?” Davy answered. “I don’t know what they were talking about, but they were loud enough for it to be heard from down the hallway.” One of our band-mates taps Davy to tell him to line up in his section. Davy walks away from me without explaining anything to me. A part of me didn’t want to know more; I felt sick to my stomach knowing that a girl I like was talking to Aar–
I mean, my friend. My really good, supportive… funny… smart… beautiful friend.
I look over at Sophie; she’s standing in line with the rest of the string section talking to the other band-mates. I can’t help but look at her and not feel the things that I feel. She makes me nervous, especially when we hang out in complete silence and she just looks at me and smiles. I feel like besides Mollie and my other friends, she’s the only other girl that actually listens to me; not when she feels like it or when it has to do with her, but actually listens. She always talks to me like she wants to her what I have to say. It’s nice to have someone like Sophie in my life.
I began to walk to where Sophie is standing; I have to talk to her. I can’t help not knowing why she would need to talk to Aaron and why all of a sudden she’s so cold towards me. I don’t care if we have to be in our spot before we enter the auditorium; Sophie means more to me than any performance I can do tonight. Maybe that means something.
I walked up to Sophie, in which she immediately stopped talking to the other band-mates and looked at me. She looked nervous; sad even. Why was she sad to see me? Why did she look like wasn’t happy to see me?
“Hey, Sophie,” I said, feeling like this was the first time I ever spoke to her.
“Hi, Milo,” she answered back quickly. “We’re going to head to the auditorium any minute now, so–“
“I know,” I quickly said, trying to not waste any time before that happens. “Can I talk to you for a quick second? I promise I’ll get you back in place before we have to go in.” Sophie looks hesitant, but ultimately walks away from the line to talk to me.
“What’s going on?” Sophie asked once we found a spot to talk at. I didn’t know where to start, in all honesty. I didn’t know what to bring up first or how to bring it up without it coming of the wrong way. Either way, I had to say something fast before it was too late.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked. “I just feel like for a day like today, you would’ve been more supportive or something.” Sophie’s eyebrows scrunch together; I definitely did not mean for it to come out like that.
“You’re not the only one performing tonight,” Sophie spat out. “Maybe I was also just too busy trying to get my things together for my performance as well?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said without letting Sophie say anything else. “It’s just… you’ve been around for all the practices and you know how much work I had to put into learning all these pieces for the band and the dual major performance–“
“So is my hard work for my performance not valid to yours just because you’re doing much more?” Sophie asked, now annoyed at me. I didn’t understand why she was acting this way. She wasn’t letting me speak, and she wasn’t listening to me anymore. It was like Sophie wasn’t herself , and I have no idea what happened to change that.
Besides talking to Aaron.
“Why are you acting like this?” I finally said back. “It’s like ever since you spoke to Aaron, you’ve been so distant and cold with me.” I can tell my Sophie’s expression that she did not know that I knew about her talk with Aaron. She quickly gains her composure back before she answers.
“My conversation with Aaron had nothing to do with you,” Sophie answered. “Why does that even matter?”
“Why would you have a conversation with him? You know how I feel about him,” I asked; I was done trying to sugarcoat how I was feeling with Sophie. She clearly didn’t care how she was making me feel in this moment.
“He’s one of our band-mates,” Sophie said. “Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist in our class.”
“You never spoke to Aaron before,” I pointed out, trying to not get loud. I was getting angry at Sophie; who the hell was this girl I was talking to? What did Aaron tell her to make her act this way toward me? “Seriously Sophie, what can you and Aaron possibly talk about?”
“Oh wouldn’t you love to know,” Sophie mocked, rolling her eyes at me. “Not everything is about you, Milo. For once, maybe you should think about someone besides yourself.”
“What are you even saying?” I asked, clearly confused at this whole conversation. “I’m just saying that Aaron has no business talking to you. He doesn’t even like you.”
“Yeah, apparently I’m hard to like,” Sophie said as she tried to walk back to her spot. What does that mean?
“Sophie,” I said as I grabbed her by the hand. She quickly yanked her hand away from me. Now I was angry. “What the hell is wrong with you?! I didn’t do anything to you–“
“Milo, you didn’t even ask me how I was feeling about this performance,” Sophie snapped at me. “Not once did you acknowledge the fact this showcase is bloody nerve-wrecking for me. My mum couldn’t even make it here tonight because it conflicted with her job! I know I’m not performing for that audience tonight; there’s barely anyone there because they know the string orchestra always performs at the beginning of the showcase. I’m not performing that solo for anybody but the people who rehearsed the same two songs with me for the past four months. But no, you just wanted to talk to me about a boy that you despise and see if he said anything to me about you.”
I didn’t know what to say in this moment. I didn’t know that Sophie was going through all of that; she never told me she was feeling these things. She normally would; we confine in each other and for Sophie to hold all of that in and not tell me before the showcase was weird.
“You know, maybe Aaron isn’t that much of a jerk as you made him out to be,” Sophie said.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” I spat out, furious that Sophie would even say anything like that. “Dude, he was the reason I got my dual status suspended! He doesn’t care about anyone but himself!”
“At least he goes out of his way to care for the people he cares about!” Sophie said. What? “You want to know so bad what Aaron spoke to me about? He was looking for Mollie! He saw that I was the last person to talk to her and wanted to know why she was so upset. He didn’t ask me ‘oh what did you tell Mollie about me’, but he was genuinely trying to find out why Mollie was upset.”
“Mollie?” I questioned. “Why was Aaron asking you about Mollie?”
“Because that’s what you do when you like someone!” Sophie answered out loud. “When you care about someone and like someone, you make it known that you do. You do anything to make that person feel happy; you put aside your own problems for that one moment because you know that the person you like and care about is not okay.”
“Aaron likes Mollie?” I simply asked. Sophie rolled her eyes and began to walk back to her spot in the line. We were all about to start walking towards the auditorium. I wasn’t done with this conversation; I needed to know what the hell was going on.
“Yes,” she finally confessed. “And he made it so known to her that they are actually dating now, because when you like someone, Milo, you tell them. You don’t just leave them in the dark questioning their very existence because you’re more worried about yourself!” I couldn’t hear anything around me. I felt everything in my body drop to the pit of my stomach. Aaron and Mollie are dating? My best friend is dating my worst enemy? Mollie is supposed to be my best friend; her dating Aaron would be like me dating Laurie. Aaron has done nothing but make my life a living hell since the day I met him, and for Mollie to know this and not tell me he was her boyfriend? I feel hurt and betrayed.
“You knew they were dating and you never told me?” I asked, more furious than anything else. “You knew this entire time that they were dating and you weren’t going to tell me?!” Sophie looked pale in the face, like she was going to be sick. I don’t think Sophie was planning on telling me this information, because she is looking at me like she just spilled the biggest can of beans imaginable.
“I shouldn’t have even told you,” Sophie quickly answered. “It wasn’t my place to say anything, but–“
“You knew this whole time that my best friend was dating my worst enemy, Sophie! How could you do this to me?” I yelled at Sophie. This was the first time I was this angry at Sophie. It was like everything I ever felt about her and everything I thought about her was a complete lie. Maybe she never liked me; maybe she was just using me for her own personal gain. I thought she was different. Sophie now looked even more angry than she was before.
“Do this to you?” Sophie said. She scoffed and took a deep breath. “You know what? Fine. I’m sorry for keeping that from you, but has it ever occurred to you that Mollie and Aaron didn’t tell me that they were dating? That maybe, just maybe, they made it so bloody obvious they liked each other and were dating, but you just never paid attention?” I looked at Sophie trying to put the pieces together. How could that even be? Mollie and I always hang out… well, most of the time.
Wait. Now that I think about it; it’s been a long time since we actually hung out after school or even spoke to each other for more than 5 minutes during passing. She was with Aaron this entire time, and I never knew. Was I really that so out-of-touch with everything that I didn’t see the signs? How did I not notice that Mollie was dating a guy, let alone Aaron Serrano of all people?
“There’s a lot of things you didn’t pay attention to,” Sophie said.
“What is that suppose to mean?” I asked. Before she could answer, Mr. Harrison yells out for us to get in our spots in line. Sophie walks back to her spot without saying another word. There’s nothing I can do but go back to my spot and walk into the auditorium with the band to start off the showcase…
To then go and sing with my so-called best friend and her boyfriend as the soloists.
Letters From Liz. 