Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

Merry Christmas! ūüéÖ

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Merry Christmas, TNTH readers! And if you don’t celebrate it, Happy Holidays. We finally reached day twelve of TNTHmas and it has been absolutely amazing to write for TNTH again. Thank you so much for those who came and read any of the posts these last 12 days; it’s been great to get into the holiday spirit with you guys! In celebration of Christmas, I wanted to show you guys some Christmas memories of my family and me over the years.¬†I feel like this is the reason why we need to bring back film camera; you can’t get these moments of your life back.¬†

Before we start, I just want to remind you all that TNTH will be coming back on¬†MONDAY, JANUARY 1ST, 2018¬†for the start of TNTH’s Anniversary celebration! Previously, I was going to daily blog for all 31 days of January, but knowing that’s not going to be physically possible, I am going to be daily blogging leading up to the day of TNTH’s Birthday (and mine), January 9th! After that, TNTH will be back on a regular schedule, which is Tuesdays and Saturdays.

For one last time in 2017, thank you for supporting TNTH. ‚̧

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Christmas 1998

 

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Christmas 2001

 

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Why am I sitting so politely in front of all these gifts?

 

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There’s an infamous photo of my sister with the “ugly excited” face when she opened this.

 

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Megan’s like “what the hell is this?”

 

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My grandfather.

 

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My aunt and I. This photo screams Christmas.

 

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Fun fact: I got one of these sweaters too that year and it was the softest thing ever.

 

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Fun fact: I was so excited to get this game. I found out days later it was broken.

 

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My grandmother and mother in the late 90’s.

 

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My cousin and I in 2003. My hair was thick and knotty; can’t you tell?

 

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My grandmother in 2001.

 

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My aunt and uncle (before the kids).

 

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All the women in the family (minus Megan).

 

See you in 2018!

 

-Liz. (:

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

Christmas Eve: A retrospect of 2017.

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

Today is Christmas Eve. Man, time flies.

A week from now, we are going to be celebrating the new year: 2018. It makes me look back on the year I had, and although it was a rocky one, here are the top 3 things I definitely learned in 2017:

  1. Life is too short.¬†My uncle passed away spontaneously in February, and since then it’s scarred me. He was living with my family and me when this happened, and every now and then I think back at the last time I saw him leave the front door to go out for the night. Who would’ve known that would be the last time I saw him? It was hard, and it’s still hard to think about, but it’s definitely taught me that life is way too short to be negative and to let it take over you. After he died, I always tell myself that I don’t ever want to go to bed angry at someone I love or go to bed sad or upset. I also don’t wanna go to bed knowing that I had the absolute worst day of my life. I mean, bad days are going to happen, but make sure that you did everything you can to turn the day around, and always look at bad days as lessons.
  2. Acknowledge your anxiety, stop using it as a crutch.¬†For a while, I allowed myself to slack off and act in a certain matter because I have anxiety. Before, I never expressed it because I felt ashamed of it. Now, I feel like I deal with it better now that I acknowledge its presence in my life. Yeah, it prevents me to this day to do things I want to do, but to allow it to take me away from doing things I did once before is using it as a crutch.¬†Oh, I didn’t do my assignment because I was anxious about it. I didn’t want to go to class tonight because my anxiety was acting up.¬†I found myself falling into that deep hole this year, and it’s taught me that yes, I do struggle with anxiety and there are just certain situations where I’m not ready to be in because of it, but using it against something that I would do without it ever being a problem makes it a crutch, and no one should use their mental illness or issues as a crutch to get the easy way out of things. Try it first. Overcome it. You never know.
  3. “Make room for the entrees and stop getting full off of the appetizers.”¬†My partner, Obie, told me this little gem the end of 2016 and it didn’t make any sense to me until I saw the effects it left on me this year. Whether it was “minor” people, “minor” problems, “minor” life events, or “minor” annoyances that were considered appetizers, I learned that not everyone is meant to have your time, problems have solutions, you will bounce back from minor life events, and annoyance is a temporary feeling. Your entrees in life are the things that motivate you, inspire you, support you, and constantly lift you up. Making room for your entrees simply means that you are separating the major things and the minor things and taking into consideration what are the important things in your life. If you keep getting “full” off of the minor things/issues in life, you’re not getting fulfilled. You are constantly looking for that fulfillment to keep you satisfied. This year I always wondered why one month I felt really great about myself and life but the next one that came I felt absolutely horrible. The appetizers in life will distract you from what you really came for: that juicy ass steak in the entrees section!

I plan on making 2018 my comeback year. There are going to be so many amazing things happening in the next year that I am so ready for. 2017 you’ve been rough, but 2018 is gonna show me how tough I really am. Thank you, 2017, for making me wiser & stronger.

What are some of the things you learned in 2017?

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays, Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

SAS: Let People Change for the New Year. (12/23/17)

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

This is going to be a quick little post about something that we are all going to start seeing as the next weeks comes, goes, and we start a new one in the new year.

There is always some negativity around holidays. Someone always has to make a negative post on a holiday just to be edgy and “different” and their post about New Year’s Eve or the new year is something of this sort:

Just because the clock turns midnight and a new year comes, doesn’t mean all your problems from the year before just disappear.

I never understood these type of posts. Who are¬†you to judge how someone welcomes the new year? Do¬†you know what a person goes through in the year? I say this because there are people in the world who have genuinely bad years. Sometimes, the hope one has during the year diminishes because they do not know how or when things get better. Sometimes, people need the new year to get the courage to drop every negative thing and start anew. The new year symbolizes this. The new year is supposed to make you want to start fresh, to do your wrongs, to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes. Yeah, things are bound to happen and people may gain new problems in the new year, but you telling people that their problems are just going to carry on into the new year is pretty much saying¬†why bother trying to get happy?

Personally, I had a rough year and I’m not afraid to admit that. 2017 was¬†not¬†my year. I’m still grateful for everything that I learned and that I get to see another day each and every morning. The new year is a breath of fresh air. It’s a restart button. It’s taken everything that went wrong the previous year and making me better in the new one. Yes, I’m aware that life doesn’t just have a reset button and everything just disappears.¬†I think everyone in the world knows that this is logically impossible.¬†

Let people interpret the new year the way that they want to. Let people allow the new year to push themselves forward and change for the better. Let people set resolutions and if they don’t keep them, how does it affect you? At the end of the day, you live life the way you want to live it, and people will live it the way¬†they want to live theirs.

And if you’re a dreamer and believer of all the pure and innocence of the new year like me?¬†Keep it close to your heart and indulge in the magic of it all.

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-Liz. (:

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

December Music Favorites!

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

So, it’s been awhile since ya girl wrote about some music favorites on here, and since my last post, a lot of great music came out! I don’t know why everyone is releasing new music at the same time, but I am seriously loving it.

In case you guys need some music to listen to this winter, here are some of the songs I’ve been obsessed with in the recent weeks.¬†Again, you can follow my Spotify playlist here¬†if you’re interested in what I listen to.

Without further ado, here are some of my music favorites of December:

1.) “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Ninja Sex Party

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In the recent months, I’ve been watching a¬†shitload of Game Grumps videos on YouTube. One of the hosts, Dan Avidan, is in a band with Brian Wecht (another behind-the-scenes Game Grumps member) and they released their second cover album on October 27th. This song was originally sung by Def Leppard, and although I’ve heard the song before NSP’s cover of it, I have to say this version of it is just as good, if not better than the original one. Dan’s voice in this song is angelic and rockstar-like, and whoever produced this song was a genius because the harmonies just give you that 80’s vibe and it’s tough.¬†Plus, Dan looked amazing in the music video with his goth-like eyeliner, just saying.¬†Seriously, this one’s a bop!

2.) “Deny U” by Superfruit

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When I first heard this song on part 2 of their Future Friends album, I wasn’t thrilled about this one. It wasn’t until I saw the music video for this song (it’s always the music videos that get me)¬†when I started to like this song. I don’t know why, but this song gives me 90’s R&B vibes, and I dig that. Mitch’s voice is mostly heard in this song, and he doesn’t disappoint with the high notes he belts at the end of the song. Scott’s bass voice compliments Mitch’s voice in the chorus; seriously they are meant to sing with each other. If you like Pentatonix and/or Superfruit, listen to their music. It won’t disappoint!

3.) “Real Friends” by Camila Cabello¬†

This song is very different to the ones Camila Cabello released in the last year. This song is unplugged and stripped with mainly just a guitar playing for most of the song and her voice. I like this song because the lyrics are¬†hella relatable.¬†No, I think I’ll stay in tonight / skip the conversations and the “oh I’m fine”s.¬†If that opening line doesn’t scream out “REAL AF”, then I don’t want is. Camila admitted that “Real Friends” almost didn’t make it onto the album because it was written really close to the deadline of her tracklist submission for her debut album,¬†Camila. I’m not one of those people who chose between Fifth Harmony and Camila Cabello because they are both good at what they do. I actually find it immature that people who used to be fans of 5H are now talking a whole lotta shit about the group ever since Camila left. I prefer Camila as a solo artist because her voice merely didn’t match up with the other four girls of 5H. The girls f 5H now have such a smoother harmonic range that resembles butter. It is what it is and I’m just as excited to hear¬†Camila¬†the same way I was excited to hear¬†Fifth Harmony.

4.) “Say It To My Face” by Madison Beer

I didn’t know Madison Beer was a singer.¬†I thought she was just this person who dated a famous celebrity and that’s how she gained her fame.¬†That is not shade, I just don’t follow J14 magazines being the almost 24-year-old that I am.¬†Anyway, I’m shocked that I fuck with this song! This song has some early 2000’s R&B vibes to it that I live for, and the lyrics are just relatable too.¬†Her voice though… I mean, I’m not saying that she can’t sing, but she definitely doesn’t have the vocal control that will take her to the next level. But besides that, this song is sassy, and¬†ya girl loves her some sassy music.

5.) “Already Won” by Kehlani

You know ya girl loves some Kehlani.¬†Seriously, her debut album that came out earlier this year has been one of my top albums of 2017. Hell, she’s the top artist I listened to on Spotify this year. I am officially a Kehlani fan and when I heard this song at my partner’s house, I was digging it. The song is the definition of #HumbleBrag. She sings about her success as an artist, yet she’s like “there’s no award big enough to label my art” and I¬†fuck with that message; heavy.¬†This is the song you put on at a celebration around your friends who are also succeeding and doing their thang and everyone is happy that everyone is making something for themselves. Kehlani is always singing about good vibes and I will always like her music because of that.

 

It was hard to pick through a whole list of gems on my Spotify, but here are the Top 5 that I can say have been on repeat most of my days. What are some of your favorite songs at the moment? Let me know and maybe i’ll fall in love with it too!

Happy listening!

 

-Liz. (:

 

 

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

It’s Capricorn Season! ‚ôĎ

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

Today is December 21st, which means it’s the official¬†first day of winter and Capricorn season begins!

Uh, Liz, so what?

It’s Capricorn season, which means that it’s¬†my¬†season. My birthday is on January 9th, which means that my zodiac sign is Capricorn. Now, I’m not one of those people who read their horoscope every single day and believe that shit is a fortune teller or something. I occasionally¬†read them for fun and yeah, there are times when I’m like¬†“wow, this is currently my life to a tee”, but I do have an open mind about them, and it’s just something that was assigned to you because of your birthday.

When it comes to Capricorn personality traits, though, I feel like I am a legit Capricorn to heart. Capricorns¬†are notoriously the most serious sign out of the zodiacs. They are the workaholics of the signs and I honestly feel like as I get older, I see just how hardworking I’ve become. I’m always working on something whether it’s for school, my personal life, and TNTH. As much as I say I’m too overworked and burnt out, I know that without it, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

Some other positive Capricorn traits are that we are typically very helpful, ambitious, determined and loyal. Although we focus in on our work and the things that have to get done, we still are able to be there for those around us when they need us the most, and I’m definitely that type of person. As much as I focus in on my workload, I make time for those around me, especially my family and my partner because it’s always important to come back and take a break from your individual busy lives. We may be one of the more “boring” signs out of the bunch (which is true to an extent; we don’t stand out that much), we are still very chill people to be around.

Some negative traits that Capricorns have are that we appear to be very shy, which I can say that’s¬†completely¬†me. No matter how hard I try to open up and express myself, I still become extremely shy and awkward, which is also another Capricorn trait. We’re awkward because we don’t do well in social situations. We’re the type of people who go to parties because our friends invite us and we have a miserable time there because our friend is off somewhere partying with everyone else and you’re sitting at the table in the corner of the room.¬†I remember going to a quinceanera with a couple of my middle school friends and I was practically at the table all night.¬†Because we don’t know how to socialize right, we appear to be self-centered, which I can say this is me at times. I forget that those around me have feelings as well and that my feelings are just one side of the story. I¬†occasionally get into arguments because I tend to not take into consideration for other people’s feelings, and I try my hardest to not let that happen.¬†But it does, and it sucks.

When it comes to compatibility with other signs, I find myself not fitting into that aspect because I feel like I get along with everyone in every sign, but I do find myself looking back at all the best friends I had in my years and most of them were Taurus (which is the most compatible sign of friendship for Capricorns). My college best friend is a Virgo which I never knew were friendship compatible because I never had a friend that was a Virgo, so it’s crazy to see just how different we are as people, yet are still really good friends.

It’s funny to see that Capricorns and Gemini’s are like the sun and moon. Geminis are literally the sun, and Capricorns are the moon. My partner is a Gemini at heart. I’ve encountered a lot of Geminis in my day and you can just tell that they are Geminis. Capricorns and Geminis clash a lot; Geminis are the life of the party, sociable, and are constantly on the moveCapricornsns are quiet, antisocial, and have to plan things before they move. They do say opposites attract, so maybe that’s the reason we work out,¬† but we do have our moments and we do have our miscommunications.

Typically, signs get along with their own signs because they’re literally the same.¬†Me? I really dislike people who are Capricorns. When Capricorns interact with other Capricorns, they usually have to be “the better, smarter person”. I’m constantly looking at other Capricorns like¬†ugh they think they’re the shit, they are smartasses, they think the world revolves around them, etc.¬†Whenever I do that, I tend to have to look at myself like, “do I appear this way to people? Am I like this?”

Something special that is happening this Capricorn season is that the first time in three decades is that Saturn is going to be in Capricorn, and Saturn is our ruling planet. This means that Capricorns are going to have a positive, life-changing experience that helps us grow and strive in the long run. As great as that sounds, I really hope that this Capricorn season treats me good. I mean, this time of year is usually a good one for me, but if it actually helps me blossom and be the person I’m working towards, then so be it.

Happy birthday, Capricorns!

 

-Liz. (:

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

Three Semesters Down, One to Go!

 

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

I lived to see this day. Two final papers later, and my last fall semester as a graduate student is officially over! I won’t lie, this semester was rough¬†for many reasons that are¬†not school work or time-related. This semester, I took an independent study that would meet up for an hour every week, and a hybrid literature class that met up once every other week. I had time to knock out a lot of assignments, but my time management was not the greatest. Because I physically didn’t have to be at school some days, I would not take the work of that week seriously, and sometimes it left me hanging on submitting subpar work to my professors. On top of that, I did a lot of independent work that didn’t require submitting something until later on in the semester, and that’s when things got tough. I didn’t start my final papers until literally the last minute because I still had major projects due for my classes. Overall, it was rough because I felt like my mind was all over the place. I made it through, and now I hope I got myself some good grades!

Next year, I might just die.¬†No literally, I might die over exhaustion or some crazy shit; I can feel it already.¬†I have to take three courses next semester because my grad program screwed¬†a lot¬†of us over, but hey – it is what it is: an infancy master’s program. I am taking a renaissance literature as a pre-100 requirement with a professor I keep getting mixed feelings about, but hey –¬†it is what it is.¬†I am also taking another class with a professor I had already during my grad career, so I’m not really worried about her class. Finally, I am taking my thesis supervision course, which is basically me working on my MA Thesis until I’m burned out and submit it to my thesis advisor who will tell me to burn it some more and once it’s completely in ashes, I submit the paper to the graduate committee and see if it will pass, fail, or receive honors.¬†I am a nervous wreck for next semester.

In the meantime, I am going to spend these next couple of days of 2017 relaxing and taking time to myself. Once the new year comes around, I’ll be back working on my thesis so that I don’t have to do¬†that¬†much work during a semester that is packed with¬†reading and writing.

I’ve had my fair share of complaining this past year and a half, but I know that once it’s over, I’m going to miss it.¬†I mean, that’ll be a whole post of its own, but for now, I can’t wait to graduate in six and a half months!

I hope everyone who finished their semesters of school is relaxing and enjoying their time off; you deserve it!

 

-Liz. (:

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

I’m 23 & I Feel My Life Wasting Away.

 

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

Before we begin, can we just say how clickbait-y this title sounds? Trust me, I’m not trying to have you guys click this post and feel¬†sorry¬†for me, I just feel like this is something that most overachievers in their 20’s feel because of just how the world is nowadays.

I feel like there are two different types of 20-somethings in the world:

  • The first type is those who use their 20’s to live life and explore the world. They go out on the weekends and party, they aren’t tied down to anyone because they enjoy¬†being single, they are simply living for themselves and they are having fun along the way because they know this is the only time in their lives where living this way is acceptable and expected.
  • The other type is those who grow up entirely too fast. They are thinking about 30 years ahead of their time, they want to begin having children, they get engaged and then married within years of each other, they fucking have life insurance despite how healthy they are, and they truly think that they are full-blown adults that should be acting like one.

I feel like I’m a combination of both. I feel like I want to be both types of 20-somethings because honestly, those who are the first type are people who probably were sheltered as teenagers and those who are the second type were probably teenagers who did all the partying and drinking already. I was definitely a late-bloomer, so I feel myself wanting to embrace my 20’s as a YOUNG adult (because that’s what I am) and have fun while I have these years. Yet, I also feel myself wanting to have that “picture-perfect” stable life where I have expectations of what my 20’s should be like. I told myself that by the time I am 26, I want to be engaged. People think I’m crazy, but I personally feel like 26 is a good age to finally start to wind down and make life decisions.¬†This doesn’t mean I’m going to force myself to find a man to marry me at 26, it just means that I’m ready to settle down romantically. I don’t necessarily surround myself with people who are married (I mean, married 20-somethings in NYC don’t exist unless you were in the military or something because those are the only people in the world at my age getting married, again – no shade),¬†but I do know people personally and socially that are in serious relationships, who live with their partners, who have little families already. Granted, I don’t want to have children (I mean, not yet), but I do want to be on the track of getting that “picture-perfect” life. I want to experience that and much more: a stable career, a stable lifestyle, a stable household; pretty much a stable life that many of us call ‘goals’ on social media.

Which brings me to my next point: we all want this type of lifestyle because 9 out of the 10 times we see it portrayed on social media. We see old schoolmates having kids, landing dream jobs, getting engaged, living in their own apartments, and we think that just because someone else in their 20-somethings is living life like that, you believe that the way you’re living your life is the wrong way. Everyone who feels this way knows it’s nonsensical and not true, yet we still feel like we aren’t living our best lives.

I know I am not wasting my life away. I know that I am on my own individual path of happiness and success and whether or not I get that “picture-perfect” life I envisioned myself having, I am going to have a good life regardless. It still doesn’t mean that I don’t feel these things. It’s merely the fact that when I see someone else living the life I thought I was going to have at my age, I get really discouraged. Just recently, a former schoolmate and her high-school sweetheart got engaged. I was happy for them because they’ve been with each other since high-school, but¬†it did¬†make me stare intently at¬†my high-school sweetheart/now partner like “… when is that gonna be us, my dude?”¬†

But I digress.

I know that everything that I’m doing with my life at this very moment is helping me grow and move forward with it. I know getting through grad school and getting my master’s degree is going to pay off once it’s actually all done and over with. I know that the rocky parts of my life currently are going to help me make better decisions in the future. I know that everything happens for a reason, whether you like it or not.

As for now, live in the present.

Enjoy your 20’s for what they were meant to be. Find yourself, discover your passions, gain some life experience, be reckless, fearless, wild. Do everything you want to do before it’s too late. Be with yourself before you allow a significant other in your world,¬†shit– before you allow a baby to come into your world.¬†Life is different for everyone and just because you’re not where some other people are, doesn’t mean you can’t be happy and celebrate you and where YOU are.

Be 20-something, not 40-something.

 

-Liz. (:

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

Why I Don’t Write Poetry Anymore.

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Hey guys, welcome back to TNTH!

If I had a frequently asked questions section of my blog, I bet you one of the questions I would have to answer is the one I’ve been getting from people for the last couple of years:

Liz, why don’t you write poems anymore?

As I’m slowly trying to get myself back in writing creatively again, I remember the times that I sat for hours writing poetry in my notebook. There was a point in time that I wrote a new poem every other day, possibly writing and posting one on Facebook every week. I used to attend poetry workshops as a teenager and for a while, I began to see my poems becoming better, cleaner, and wittier. For a while, I was “Liz, the poet” more than “Liz, the writer” and I was fine with that. Poetry is what ultimately made me start writing and to start taking writing seriously.

Then, I stopped.

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I stopped writing poetry at the end of 2013 mainly because I found myself being a much happier person. My poetry was at its greatest in 2012; the time when I was battling with depression and issues within myself. Yet, my poetry in that era was some of the cleanest, wittiest, and most put together pieces I ever wrote. I find myself reading back at those poems from time-to-time and I have to ask myself, where did all of this come from? I mean, surely my inspiration came from my depression and my issues, but the passion and the hurt behind it; how did I convey that through poetry?

But, I didn’t stop for only that reason. I stopped because¬†I was a wuss. I had a friend at the time that would criticize my writing and my ability to write good poetry every single time I would share one. It was always something negative like¬†“this was absolute trash”¬†or¬†“do better next time”.¬†As a depressed 18-year-old girl, that was discouraging and slowly but surely I just stopped sharing altogether.

I didn’t realize this was my issue until I took a poetry class during my last year of undergrad. I had to be conferenced by my professor and I had to show her my portfolio of poems I’ve written in the last semester. She wasn’t the¬†nicest¬†professor at my college, but she knew what she was talking about, and I appreciated her critique because of that. She told me that I had a gift for contemporary poetry. She told me that I have such an urban lyric style to my poems that she never really saw in her students. She also said that I could do better. My poems were creative and they told stories, but I wasn’t confident enough to let my words speak for themselves. She then asked me if I had any background in writing poetry and I told her, but I also told her that I’ve gotten driven away from poetry by my peers. I told them that they made me feel like my poetry was amateur and not meant to be taken seriously; like my voice shouldn’t be taken seriously. I mean, my professor ultimately told me to tell them to go fuck themselves, but it was already too late: by that time, I lost my passion and my drive for poetry. I wasn’t in such a bad place anymore, and I overthink my poems because I get so nervous that they aren’t good enough.

Two years after that talk, I find myself wishing that I kept that side of my creative writing closer to me. I wish I was able to just ignore those around me and continued to write poetry to help heal me. Sitting down and writing one is easier said than done, and every time I do so, I end up scrapping it. I don’t know if there will be a time when I am able to just write a poem, but I really do miss it.

It really was a love-hate relationship when it came to poetry. Writing poetry made me have to get in touch with my feelings and how I felt about certain things. There would be times I would write a really dark piece, and even after I was done with it, the ambiance would still be around me. But, some of the greatest poems come from a place of hurt, and I wrote some of my best during this dark time in my life.

Maybe poetry was just a part of my past self, maybe I just let people’s comments win.

At the end of the day, I will always be a writer, no matter how many people want to tell me otherwise. My writing always speaks for itself, whether in stanzas or not.

 

-Liz. (:

Self-Appreciation Saturdays, Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

SAS: Reconnecting with the Holiday Spirit. (12/16/17)

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

We are literally twelve days away from possibly one of the biggest holidays in American culture (and I say that because Christmas has turned into the holiday of consumerism, and that’s what American culture practically is). In a more traditional perspective, it’s the time of year when families come together and spend time with one another, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve last seen them. The holiday season is the time of year I get to see my family the most; we always do this thing where we open gifts together at my aunt’s house and ever since I was a child, I looked forward to doing this with my family.

The last year, though, my family has had its ups and downs, and personally, it’s hard to get that “holiday spirit” because I don’t have that “connection” like I once did. I’ve learned a lot about my family in the last year, and although I love my family, there’s always someone or something dividing us: distance, people,¬†the list can go on.

All and all, it’s sometimes hard to get into the holiday spirit when you know that the happiest time of year isn’t the happiest for you or your family. It seems like the holiday season can sometimes even bring out the worst in people, and it just sucks when it does the ladder.

I know I am not the only alone out there who feels this way, and this post is for those who feel alone.

Some people can’t go home for the holidays because their family doesn’t accept their lifestyle or their identities. Some people don’t have family left to go home to. Some people are in situations where they have to split up their holiday season because their families just function that way. There are a million reasons why the holiday season can be a rough one, and also one of the reasons why suicide is so high during these seasons.

This is the season where you have to be thankful for what you have, and throw away the idea of the things you don’t.

If you don’t have a family to go home to, I bet you there is a friend who will open their home to you during the holiday season. If you simply don’t have that family connectivity and feel more distant than loved, celebrate the holiday season with your friends. Celebrate Friendsmas or something. NO matter what the situation is, you have people who love and support you and will welcome you because¬†it’s the holiday season and no one wants to see a person alone on the holidays.¬†

As for me, I am taking care of my mental health this holiday season. It’s so easy to think about the bad things that happened around this time of year, but I know I’m coming out stronger if I live these next few weeks thankful for those who love me, and those who I love back. In some strange way, I am letting the brokenness of this situation make me stronger as a person, and to enter 2018 on a positive note. I am allowing this to be an example for me so that when I get older and have a family of my own that no one will feel alone or distinct.

This holiday season, I matter to someone. Someone is thankful to have me in their lives. And the same thing goes for you.

 

-Liz. (:

Twelve Days of TNTHmas: 2017

Lizlovinnn’s Holiday Traditions!

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Hey, guys – welcome back to TNTH!

When I was younger, I used to say that my favorite holiday was Christmas because of the presents,¬†I mean what child doesn’t? Now that I’m older and “an adult” (let’s face it, I’m nowhere being one), I still say that Christmas is my favorite holiday, but definitely for different reasons. Christmas is my favorite holiday because I get to do all of the traditional stuff that either my family or I do! I’ve definitely created some of my own personal holiday traditions over the years, so here are some of the things I do every year during the holiday season:

  • If I can, I put up all the Christmas house decorations and the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving or the weekend after. This year, I’ve managed to decorate my apartment with Christmas stuff,¬†now I’m just waiting to have some time to put the actual tree up. (Edit: she’s up!)
  • ¬†For as long as I could remember, my extended family would come together for Christmas and exchange gifts either before or after Christmas (one year, we exchanged Christmas gifts January 31st… yeah). When I was younger, though, we used to do it before Christmas and whenever my grandparents came into town, they would drop off me and my sister’s gifts at my house, and then take us to my aunt’s house to open the other gifts. I used to hate it when my grandmother would tell my mom that we weren’t allowed to open them before Christmas, and my sister and I knew that my grandparents¬†spoiled us rotten.¬†We got amazing gifts as children. We still do get amazing gifts, but we get to open them the day we see them nowadays.
  • My family and I open Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. There’s no special reason why; we were literally impatient as kids and now we’re impatient grown adults. Personally, I never liked opening gifts on Christmas morning. I feel like presents should be open at nighttime after dinner; who wants to be groggy and tired opening gifts the morning after?
  • Speaking of Christmas Eve, I’ve spent every Christmas Eve with Obie for the last six years. At first, it was just coincidental that we would hang out on Christmas Eve, but after the 3rd year of doing so, I made it my mission to always see him that day: 1.) to keep the tradition going and 2.) to give him his Christmas present. Let’s hope we do it again this year!
  • When my sister and I were kids, my parents made Santa’s arrival¬†really¬†dramatic. One year, the whole fire-escape¬†window was wide open and things were knocked down; another year a big ass garbage bag of gifts were left on our front porch¬†as if Santa was the fucking UPS Delivery man, it was fun and honestly, I didn’t stop believing in Santa until… I was legit 10 years old.
  • ¬†I guess I picked this up from my mother, but every Christmas I send out a couple of Christmas cards to some friends. I send cards to those people who I don’t really get to see anymore or anyone who lives far away now, but I always do it for the holiday spirit. I feel like people don’t send out cards anymore unless you’re that suburban family who lives in a wealthy neighborhood and buys every family member a different Hallmark card because they just got it like that.¬†I felt like I just shook a whole community of people. I feel like some of my friends only get cards from me, and I really like to bring that aspect back into people’s lives again.

 

And that’s all of them!¬†What are your Holiday Traditions?

 

-Liz. (: